Six and a half years ago,when I first started this blog,it was my only voice.I could come here and write about my deepest,darkest feelings.Over the years,I have gone through several writers’ blocks..but not one of them has been as bad as this one. I finally figured it out why..I have started using facebook as a blog..Every little thing that happens,ends up on facebook..the instant comments are addictive!LOL!
Honestly,I started writing this post 3 days back and still haven’t finished it.But then,when I have some time on hand,I like to read my old posts and after one such reading,I realized that I have missed writing about so many of Anan’s milestones and cute activities. I have missed out on writing about conversations with Aadi..And as if this continues,I’ll have literally no written memories of these two years.So,I have penciled in ‘blogging time’ in my day,every single day…a time when I will just do,what I love the most-writing my thoughts out.I’ll turn off facebook and the cellphone(I can access FB from the mobile too).
Anyway,speaking of Ananya,she turned 2 years and 2 months and 2 weeks today. LOL!I didn’t plan to blog today,but its just a happy co-incidence.So my favorite toddler,Anan,ofcourse,calls herself “Nanya” and speaks in Third person about herself- “Nanya no like it”,”Nanya crying”,”Nanya wants chai-coco”.Chai-coco is Nanya-speak for chocolate milk.
I finally weaned her off,two months before her second birthday,but we still struggled to get her to drink cow’s milk.And she starting getting sick- extreme colds,coughs and diarrhea. The cold and cough turned into ear-infection and a repeat ear-infection but the diarrhea didn’t stop,even after the mandatory wait of two weeks after the antibiotics were finished.She lost so much weight and completely went off food. Then,we found out that she was lactose intolerant. So now for about 2 months ( since August first week) we’ve been giving her Lactose free milk.And she loves it.There were no dramas at all about drinking the new milk.And she knows that she cannot drink the other milk. It makes me happy and breaks my heart at the same time,that she is so little,yet she knows.If I am distracted and pick up the wrong milk jar,she yells,”No Mumma,Nanya Want Nanya chai”..And thankfully the diarrhea has disappeared too.
Nanya loves her Aadu..she does.This morning,she was sleeping,when SD dropped Aadi at school.After she woke up,we were getting ready to go out,I dressed her up and she started looking for Aadya and wouldn’t believe me when I told her Aadi was at school.Its heartwarming seeing them hug each other,after school.And it is frustrating,when they fight over the smallest of things.
We had Spring break last 2 weeks and every single day,they would both wake up at 6:30am..EVERY single day of the vacation.And today,the first day of school,I woke up Aadi at 7:45am and she she complained about not getting enough sleep and as for Nanya,I had to wake her up at 9:00 am,because we were getting late for our appointment!LOL
Anyway,its time to go pick up Aadi..so,I better stop..will be back with another post,tomorrow 🙂
Category: Mommy time
Dressing up the toddler
Everywhere I go,I see these cute toddlers,well dressed,hair nicely combed,hair clips in place,shoes and socks on.Oh! don’t they look oh-so-adorable..?
And then there is my toddler.Getting her dressed is such a BIG drama,every single time!If she had it her way,she would still be wearing the same t-shirt from 3 days back.Trying to change her clothes is nothing less than a feat. There is screaming-hers and mine , heavy panting-mine and angry crying-hers.
T-shirt tackled,time for pants/skirt- Rinse and repeat the drama mentioned above.Have ever tried to put some pants on a crocodile rolling in the mud?No?Really?I do it every single day! As soon as its time to put the pants on,the crocodile rolling starts..kicking and rolling..and God forbid if I pick out a pair of tights to go with the socks..the whole exercise is enough to make me start pulling my own hair !!
And there is no chance of putting on a dress.. doesn’t matter how pretty it is..doesn’t matter how cute she looks in it..Nope!She doesn’t do dresses..The rare occasions when she is distracted and I put one on her,she screams and cries and asks to take it off.
Oh and the hair!! Let me not even get started about that.. She hates getting her hair brushed…even before the hairbrush touches her hair,she starts saying”Owie” …LOL!I am not kidding..I try so hard,holding her between my legs or putting her on the bathroom bench top.. and finally she is dressed..fairly well dressed.
But by the time we get to our destination(even if its 5 minutes away!!)..the shoes & socks are kicked off,the hair clip is off and her curls have sprung.Seriously!What am I to do with her? I hope she’ll out grow this phase because I am seriously dreading her teenage years.
But she is such an adorable little thing..when we are not in the midst of all this drama,just looking at her is enough to turn me into a mush pot..As I was busy typing away this post,she was eating her snack..she came and sat next to me with her bowl of rice crackers and kept feeding me,one by one.:)
On that happy note,let me share with you something else that makes me happy..A Bunting.I finished this bunting yesterday.
The pattern for the hearts is from here.Its one of my favorite blogs these days.I love Jacquie’s tutorials and all the colors spread out on her blogs..definitely worth checking out 🙂
The Bunting is up for sale on my facebook page and will be going with me to the market stall,in October:) Not-so-subtle business plug..LOL!
I’ll back with another post soon…Trying to keep my head over the water…as life comes at me,yet again like a big wave,trying to drown me.
xoxo
Trish
Couch25K-W1D2
Yesterday,Friday was Day2 of week 1.
Thursday,was rest day and my thighs were like ROCKS!I swear,even walking inside the house,was painful. I did some yoga in the morning.But I was sore,all day long and my throat was feeling funny too.When I went to bed,I was wondering,if I will be able to walk/jog in the morning.
I woke up,on Friday morning,still a little sore,but not as much as the previous day.I quickly freshened up and got dressed and stepped outside,before I changed my mind.
After the warm-up,by the time,it was time for the first jog,I was feeling good.This time,I remembered to breathe when jogging..and that made a whole lot of a difference.
Edited to add-DH got me another pair of ear-phones,the kind that clip behind your ear and so,they didn’t fall off.Only one was working,but atleast it stayed plugged in!
I breezed thru the first 3 jogs,easily..in the 4th jog,I felt a little pinching on my right foot.I pause the pod-cast and rubbed it and it felt better.I walked a little to build up the pace and then started the pod-cast again.And before I knew it,I was on the 7th run and almost dying!!LOL! but there was just one more run and that was motivation enough.Again for cool down,I walked away from home..so that I would have to walk to get home:P
Day2 was definitely better than Day1.
Today is rest day but I am not as sore are last rest-day.
Yesterday was also school day and I was on my feet pretty much all day..The school is only 3 hours but,we got there half an hour early(DH gave us a ride) and instead of sitting inside,we spent that half an hour playing in the park.
There was a Mother’s Day Party in the school and moms had to stay back.It was really nice.The kids gave us a mini-manicure-rubbed scented cream in moms’ hands and painted their nails.Then,they made bracelets for us and gave us,cards and flowers,which the kids had made themselves,last week.Aadi didn;t go last week,so one of the teachers made it for her.Then there was lots of singing and dancing and lot of fun was had by all.
We got home by 4,Aadi was super-tired,put her down for a nap and tidied up,loaded the dishwasher,cooked dinner.By 9.00 dinner was done and I sat down to knit mittens for Aadi.I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
DH’s friend had invited us over to watch T-20 India-Australia,I begged off and even before DH left,we were both happily in dreamland!
I am soo excited,that I didn’t given and finished W1D2! one more day and I will be done with Week1!
Oh..and the scale is moving!!!LOL!!I didnt expect it to move so soon..but it is.
Current mood- Happy and relaxed!
17 months and counting….
Can you believe it?? In another month,my baby girl would be one and a half years old.Aadya turned 17 months young,over the weekend I completely forgot about the 16 month post..and so,this one has to be written.Co-incidentally,Aadya was sick on both her 16 month and 17th month birthday.My poor baby has fever since yesterday and her cold and cough doesn’t seem to be going away.
She has evolved so much in these last two months.She is getting more and more communicative.She knows how to effectively use pointing and words. If she wants something,she drags us by the hand, and points at the thing that she wants. If she wants to watch TV, she points at it.That’s another story,that she turns it off,when we are watching it and not paying attention to her. She knows that her favorite song,Lakdi ki kathi can be watched on the computer,so she points at the computer,when she wants to listen to that. She points at the fridge when she wants milk or fruit. If she wants milk,she brings her sippy cup to us!
And she is trying to say so many words.Whatever you say,she has to repeat it or try to repeat it. She is a big copy-cat. She is seen walking around,with the phone propped between her shoulder and neck.Obviously,why not? That is how mamma holds the phone! The keys on the keyboard have to be typed at furiously..not slowly,not one by one.Her fingers even imitate mine. The food is to be eaten with a spoon or fork. She waits patiently for the spoon if I forget to give it to her.
And the funniest is when she tries to laugh. Its so cute.When we are laughing,she crinkles up her nose and pretends to laugh.And she always has to have the last laugh!!She won’t quit till the last person has stopped laughing!
She likes to choose her own clothes.So,I lay out two outfits for her and let her pick one. She things she has done something great and happily lets me dress her.If she doesn’t like what she is wearing,she just takes it off. No one told me how your work increases ten fold,when your child learns to undress herself.And God!how she hates her diapers. She just doesn’t want to keep it on.The moment she pees,she takes it off and gives it to me. In a way its good.I know she is ready to be Potty trained..but, with this move and everything else that goes with it,I don’t want to start potty training her. Anyway,she now,points at the bathroom and wants me to take off her diaper,when she wants to pee,which is another sign that she is ready!
This last month,has been great for the father-daughter duo. Aadi is getting more and more attached to her dad. Earlier,she would play with him,but when it was time to sleep or if she was hungry,she needed only mumma. But now, sometimes,she goes to her Papa. And falls asleep as soon as he picks her up. And on some days,I spend so much time, putting her down for a nap,all he has to do is pick her up!and she puts her head on his shoulder and dozes off in 5 minutes.Bedtimes are also incomplete without Papa.She keeps looking out for him,till he doesn’t come and join us .
She loves to gently touch our faces with her hands.Its so amazing,feeling that soft little hand on our faces. At other times,the meltdowns continue.We are kind of able to recognise the signs now, and many meltdowns have been successfully averted. Though there are some that still can’t be helped. Like today, she didn’t want to put on her diaper and her Papa just put it on her,forcefully. And she got upset and she cried and cried..flinging her body..not listening..just crying. I think she was tired and not well. He took her out,I walked with her,then showed her the magic of flicking switches and making everything bright.That cheered her up.
In these 17 months, she has grown so much(knock on the wood),changed so much,from the little baby,we brought home.This change is amazing. I don’t know what else to say..But leave you with this
17 day old wonder
Weaning from Bottle to sippy cup
Sooooooooo, we have been bottle-free for a little over 3 weeks now..Yayyy!
This is one transition,I was worried about.I had heard so many horror stories of babies crying their heads off for their bottles and being the weak heart that I am..I just wasn’t ready for it. My own siser didnt want to give up her bottle and one day,my mom just “accidentally” dropped it in front of her and she cried her hearts out over bottle “tutti”,I wondered how I would break this solid bottled.Since I had to wean her off breast-feeding too,I decided to take things slow,one thing at a time.
But when we went for Aadya’s 15 month check up,her pediatrician said that she should have been off the bottle by then..Her reasoning behind it was that bottle just adds to empty calories. It made sense to me..This little girl would any day trade in her bowl of dal rice for a bottle of milk.
So,I decided,it was time to take things seriously.In part,I think I waited this long because I was lazy.I mean she was drinking from an open cup and sipping from the straw too.But,it meant more cleaning..sitting with her for 20 minutes..holding the cup,so she could drink it.So,I just kept putting it off. And she had almost given up on her sippy cups.She refused to take it.Thus began my quest for the perfect sippy cup..something that she liked.
First I tried again with her old sippy cups, the ones with soft rubber spouts from Nuby .She sipped from it for exactly two minutes.Next I tried some no-name brands from Walgreens and CVS,just to get her interested.But all she wanted to do was play with them.I re-tried Avent Trainer spout..She cried through the whole thing and didn’t drink any milk.I think she was so used to the quick flow in the bottle nipple that sucking from a sippy cup required strength and she didn’t think it was worth the effort.
My friend P had been telling me about how her son baby A liked his sippy cup,which had a straw in it.Then it dawned on me..that she loves sipping from straws so why not try one like baby A’s.I found one and tried giving her some water in it..She took it..And in fact,started drinking water from that cup,every single time.Yayy..so we had a winner.But she still wouldn’t drink milk from it.
Now,I know Aadi is the hungriest when she wakes up from her nap.So,one day,I just offered her the sippy cup,filled with milk,instead of her bottle and she took it.But the flow in this cup was too fast for her to gulp.It was fine for water but not for milk.
So, we tried two more and finally found one which required slightly more work to get the milk out.It was one of those spill-proof cups from Playtex.I let Aadya choose the cup.And made a big deal about it. First I tried sucking from it..like P had suggested and then,made the valve slightly larger with the help of a knife. And gave her milk in it.
We did the after nap milk in the sippy cup,for about a week.But she still needed her bottle first thing in the morning and at nap-times and bed times.I tried taking away the nap-time bottle and she cried and cried..and it broke my heart. I let her keep it. And i think a big hindrance was a bleeding heart Papa too.Every time,I tried to take the bottle away,at bed-time or nap time he would give in to the tears and give her the bottle.
Then,one morning,I just replaced the first bottle of the day with her new shiny sippy cup! I was nervous and kept the bottle by the bed..ready to jump out the bed and transfer the milk from cup to bottle.So,I gave her the sippy cup..and both of us ooh-aahed over the new cup..And cuddled with her from both sides.And SHE drank!and finished !!! all the milk. That was a start.
After that I never gave her a bottle in the morning.Even if it meant scrubbing the sippy with my eyes shut after a long tiring day..I did it.
2 days after that I tried giving her the sippy at nap time again..And again she cried and cried and refused to drink from the sippy cup. The next day,I gave her the sippy cup 10 minutes before her nap time and let her play with it..Then asked her if she wanted milk and poured some in it ,in front of her.She was excited..we counted the seconds off the microwave together.. and then I gave her the sippy cup. She drank from it..and then threw the cup and then turned over and slept.I kept up this routine..followed by lots of Ooh-ing and aah-ing. and good jobs!
But we were still left with the bed time bottle..That one took longer to get rid off.But, I started giving it to her,around 2o minutes before bed time.That way,she drank her milk,we played,read and then lights off. But surprisingly 3 days into this routine and she was off the bottle.
On the 4th day,I was cooking and she was sitting on the kitchen counter,and spotted the bottle.She pointed it out to me..”This?” I said,”yes baby..that’s your bottle.”Aadi ko chahiye?”[Does Aadi want it?].And gave it to her..she looked at it,upside down and then held it for the longest minute and then chucked it,in favor of something else.The bottle is still on the kitchen counter.but she is not interested anymore.I guess she was more or less ready for the change. Also what helped was that she saw the milk in the cup,and so knew that she was getting the good stuff.I would really recommend getting those see-through sippy cups for beginners.If they see what they are going to down,they gulp it happily.
Like last time,this time also I tried step by step elimination..I don’t think I would have been able to go cold turkey.Oh..and most of all,it was possible because I took away the last two feeds-the nap-time and the bed-time bottle,on a weekday..when Sanj was working!hehehe..EVIL mommy!
But its so funny.. right from Day one Aadya has known..when he is around and always cries out to him for attention.Even when she was 2 or 3 days old,and I was trying to get her to latch on,she would try to cooperate if it was just the two of us,in the room.But when Sanj was in the room too,she would definitely cry and scream..like asking him for help!!And every single time,it worked.He would get mad at me and want to take her away from me..like I was some evil mother..torturing his princess. Gosh!we fought so much in those first 4 days…it was like that’s all we seemed to be doing.. every time,she cried,whoever was holding her,would get yelled at. I asked Sanj to “get out of the room” one time when he yelled at me,for forcing her to latch on!!Hehehe crazy times..Imagine,you spend so much time worrying about whether your baby is going to breast feed or not..and then you spend even more time worrying about whether she will ever be weaned off or not. 🙂
All the best Cee Kay,Rads and Mona 🙂
Weaning off breast-feeding
A friend wanted to know how I weaned Aadya from Breast-feeding.
And just the very next day, Mona and I were chatting when she asked me about how I weaned Aadi off her bottle and after giving her a few pointers,I decided to write a post about it. We had trouble breast feeding initially and that’s when I had decided to breast-feed Aadya for about 15 months..against the recommended 1 year,as if to make up for time lost.
So,when she turned 1 year old,she was both bottle-fed and breast-fed and her pediatrician told me to try and get her off the bottle in time for her first birthday.But the bottle was so darn convenient..more than her,I think I was the one who wasn’t ready to let go of it.Every time we were out in the car and she was crying,I would prop the bottle in her mouth and she would be happy. I am quiet sure,that on certain days,she used the bottle as a replacement of her pacifier..but whatever kept her quiet.
The day after she turned one,I started her on whole milk and she loved it. Since the pediatrician was already nagging me to get rid of the bottle,I tried giving her milk in a sippy cup,and then in an open cup. She refused to drink milk in the sippy cup..as it was for water ONLY.She would drink from the open cup,but soon the novelty wore off and we were back to the bottle.
In the mean-time,I was trying to fit in cups/bottles of whole milk with breast-feeding.So,I first replaced the mid-morning feed with a cup or bottle of milk.She was happy..Slowly after a week or ten days,we replaced the after-nap feed with the bottle too. And so on we continued till only two feeds were left- the early morning and bed time feed. By this time she was almost 14 months.
Then one I was too tired and Sanj let me sleep in and gave Aadya her bottle.And she was equally happier.She snuggled close to between us and happily sipped her bottle and then dozed off again.Sanj was happy too,because this time she was cuddling with him,instead of me. And that was one of the last morning feeds.And we were down to just one feed,sometimes two,but mostly one at bed-time.About 2 weeks before she turned 15 months,we were out all day.one Saturday and she didn’t fuss or ask to be nursed.And i didn’t offer after we came back.Next day,again,we were out,but that she kept tugging at my shirt.I gave her the bottle and she was OK.When we came back,I did nurse her.But,I knew it was just a paci-feed. She nursed a little and then just snuggled up.
After that,every time,she tugged at my shirt,I would give her the bottle,and cuddle up..snuggle real tight.And soon,we were completely weaned off.One week later,I woke up and realised,that Aadya hadn’t nursed for one whole week.
I had heard and read of so many things about weaning the baby-horror stories about physical discomfort etc.. but the thing that worked for us was gradual elimination ..By the time,we finished,we were both ready to let go.I did feel a little bad,initially..I think I was a little depressed over the fact that my baby is growing up too soon..But the fact that I could be more independent and have more choices when we were out,made me feel good.The first time I ordered a Latte for myself and organic milk for the baby..I felt GOOD!!
So,all you mommas trying to wean off your baby, be patient..its going to happen..when you and the baby both are ready. Go slow..be persistent and you will be fine.
But if you do decide to go cold turkey,be sure,you have lots of cabbage in your refrigerator and a good painkiller,on your bed-side table.
Why Cabbage you ask? The instructor at the parenting and child-birth course we attended,was also a lactation consultant and she suggested stuffing the bra with cold cabbage leaves, if you have to stop breast-feeding immediately.
I haven’t tried it..but she swore by it and even claimed to have tried it herself.
So, good luck!
Transition from Bottle to Sippy-cup coming up next.
Why I want a second one
This is a post I wrote for Desi Mom’s club.
The theme this month is-Sibling Love
First off,lovely theme,Mummyjaan. Its the perfect theme for me,since,I spent this entire month,thinking of my sister,M and eagerly anticipating her visit and she arrives tomorrow.I am also really looking forward to hearing from mommies with 2 or more kids. As most of you know,I am one of the other mommies,one of those who are still enjoying the precious first one. But,one thing I am sure of,I want a second one. And I was sure of this even before having Aadya. And friends and cousins would tease me,”Oh wait till you have one..And then,you’d say I am DONE!” Funnily,I am not. Every time I see a mommy walking by with two kids,I picture Aadya with her younger brother or sister..and the image makes me smile.If I think seriously,why I want two-I think it is most definitely because of the relationship I share with M. We are like normal sisters and that means a lot of bickering,a lot of cribbing..but that also means a lot of caring and a lot of love. More than anything else,I know,she will be there for me,whenever I need her.And that is really reassuring. That is what every parent wants for their child,that steady person,in his or her life,whom they can depend on without hesitation.We had our share of sibling rivalry too.I didn’t particularly like being the responsible one, watching over my baby-sister all the time. But,I couldn’t stand it if someone tried to pick on her. Then,I would turn defensive and hit out at the said person. Slowly over the years,roles have changed and she is the responsible one and I get to be the baby..that I like :)That’s the kind of sibling,I want for Aadya,someone she can fight with..but run right back to.Someone whom she can call up,when we are old and senile and giving her a hard time about her new Boy-friend. Sure they will have their rough patches and sure there will be days,when I will be pulling my hair off and ready to give them both up for adoption, but there will be also be double hugs and not to mention,comfort in the knowledge,that they will have each other,after we are dead and gone. I sometimes wonder though,how will I manage a new born and Aadya both together and then,I think of M, again. So many years of my life,I begrudgingly sharing my room with her and now,I would give anything to share a room with her again..Strange are the ways of life.One episode from our childhood,always stands out in memory and I would like to share that with you,before I go.M was always sick as a child.She used to have prolonged bouts of Asthama and she had to be kept indoors,all the time. So,when I got ready to go out and play,my mom would change her clothes and dress her up smartly too. And then,M would take her regular position by the window. One time we were playing catch and the boy,who was chasing,ran up to me and grabbed me..I tried to run away,and he pushed me and I fell down.In the heat of the game,I still wanted to escape and he tried to stop me by almost sitting on me. We were around 5-6years old and li’l M around 3-4 and she saw this. And she started screaming..”Leave my sister”,”Don’t do anything to her”.. She was so angry, she was holding the window rails,gnawing teeth,screaming non-stop,till my mom finally came and picked her up and pacified her.Every time,we had a fight,my mom used to remind us of this episode and we would promptly make up..Even now,when I think of it,I can’t help but smile.I am looking forward to seeing her tomorrow and spending some quality time with her..and all of you,out there,keep your fingers crossed and send up a little prayer for Aadya to get a loving sibling like her auntie M.
Oh and here is the post, I wrote about her,almost one year back.
Breast-Feeding
Its been so long since I posted anything..Lots of things were going on..I had a lot on my mind..was going through an extremely volatile emotional phase..But now,peace seems to be restored in Aadyaland and here I am,finally writing about breastfeeding! Thanks for checking on me Asha
Hmm,So, Breast feeding..where do I start?? I had been told by well meaning friends that its not as natural or easy as it sounds.. and I wanted to do everything right..so,I went for a breastfeeding class at the local hospital.. The instructor there assured all of us that it requires a lot of patience and practice.. but there’s only so much you can do. Just look forward to it with a positive attitude.. and that’s what I did.. but things started going wrong right from the beginning!
When I first saw Aadya a couple of hours after her birth, she was starving..i was tired.. and we had this over-bearing acquaintance in the room,who took it upon herself to help me! I politely refused..she wouldn’t hear it, even when the nurse told me that we’ll try it after everyone leaves..What they were doing in my hospital room,so soon after my delivery..well that is a memory i just want to block out.. may be I will write about it some day!
Aadya got scared/upset and just wouldn’t latch on..she actually pushed my breasts away. and this lady all but grabbed my crying babe and tried to force her to latch on to the other side!! Baby was crying..I was crying.. And stupid me couldn’t tell her to get out of my room! Anyway, I asked the nurse to give me a bottle so I could feed her.
Day two- she was still not latching on,screaming bloody murder every time I tried to get her to latch on.I still wasn’t able to sit up,and couldn’t figure out a comfortable position of both of us.The more she cried,the madder DH got!!She cried,I cried.. DH was upset-it was a mad house. Then there was the lactation consultant..I hated her!! She walked in,asked me to unbutton the snaps of my gown and told me how I would have more than enough milk for my babe.how I was doing it all wrong,how I would never learn to breast feed!!!!!Her mannerism and way of talking was so hostile.She may have had all the qualifications but lacked the basic courtesy and consideration towards others!
We got home,my baby still wasn’t latching on.
I went to see another lactation consultant-this time one recommended by Aadya’s pediatrician and she was so much nicer.She told me that I had inverted nipples and suggested using nipple shells between feeds.I kept trying to get her to latch and everytime,she would just cry and I would end up expressing..I was expressing the milk and bottle- feeding her. I kept trying,crying every time I nursed her,coz she was crying.I was sure she was scared of my big breasts.All my life..I hated being big busted.. but never more than I did just then. I hated having these big melons,which were doing nothing to pacify my crying baby.We kept trying and trying and then one fine day,nearly a month later, just like that she latched on.I nursed her with tears streaming down my face.Slowly we got rid of the bottle and she was exclusively breastfed.
Then one night,she just wouldn’t sleep and kept crying.I called up the nurse, who asked me massage her tummy and use warm cloth as a hot water bottle.It worked that day,only to get worse the next.She was miserable whole day and must have slept about 3-4 hours during the entire 24 hours..We went to the doctor..who asked me to stop breastfeeding,stop eating anything that had protein in it- eggs,milk,wheat,soy..etc and just give her formula and see in 2 days. Two days later, her tummy was better.. but still not in good shape. It turns out my baby was “Breast milk Intolerant”-There I said it!! She told me stop nursing her till she turned 3 months old,coz by then her own digestive system would have matured enough. I was devastated,but kept pumping milk to keep up my supply.
By then,Aadya was so addicted to breast milk and cozy nursing sessions,she refused to take the bottle. She lost a lot of weight and even when she started gaining it , the weight gain was very slow. This was a very emotional phase for all of us. Aadya would get upset,when we gave her the bottle.I would cry when I pumped..and when I fed her.. DH was unhappy too..All along there was this sadness in our household. To make matters worse,MIL who was around kept asking me at every feeding time, when I was going to nurse the baby!!! Finally,when she turned 9 weeks old and her tummy was fine but still gaining minimal weight.. her Ped asked me to start nursing her once a day and if it didn’t upset her tummy gradually increase. I said a little prayer and tried nursing her that day.And she refused to latch on! God!!I was going crazy..so now she wouldn’t take the bottle and she wouldn’t latch on. I tried again next feed..same thing. I tried again first thing in the morning..and she gagged!I thought she was pretending so that I would give up..I shared this with my friend AW and she explained how she couldn’t be faking it.. she could actually be gagging because of the difference in texture of the two nipples ! God!!I felt so guilty after hearing that!! Things were back to square one and so I started reteaching her to latch on,like the first time.Only this time I knew what to do,instead of fumbling around..But she knew her mind too.She wasn’t a 2 week old ..she was a 2.5 month old and knew exactly what she wanted to do!We tried the same,trying to latch one first,giving up to express routine again..and again..till she got used to being breast fed again. Cut a long story short..finally she latched on..better than the first time and I am happily nursing her. But this time I give her the bottle too,just so god forbid, if things go wrong, she wont fuss about taking the bottle.
She is gaining weight again touch wood..though its not as much as I would like it to be.. but at least we are going forward.
Whoever said Breast feeding is an emotional experience..was so right! I was emotional when I couldn’t feed Aadya,I was emotional when I was nursing her,I was emotional when I was pumping.. even now,I always have a catch in my throat when I nurse my little babe..I thought it would go away in a couple of days.. but may be not..Its just the purest most selfless thing a woman can ever do..but in my case,my need to nurse Aadya was much greater than her need to be nursed..May be it doesn’t make sense..DH tried reasoning with me how I was doing it for her well being and I totally understood it.. and I would never do anything to compromise her health.. but I just felt so incomplete,like I was failing at mothering her..DH pointed out how she would stop crying the moment I picked her up or held her..I knew that meant that I was doing something right..but still there was no explaining this helplessness and sadness that was slowly engulfing me. I just hope that after this our breastfeeding progresses smoothly.
Sending up a little prayer and keeping my fingers crossed……
My perfectly planned postpartum visit
Aadya turned 6 week old on may 11th and i had my 6 week postpartum visit scheduled that day.Being a big planner,I had planned it to the tee..
I would wake up fresh that day..I was sure Aadya would sleep well the previous night.. you see I had planned it that way.I would give her a late bath, followed by a massage and then feed her.And my precious baby would sleep for a good .stretch of 5-6 hours. I would spend the morning playing with Aadya and then treat myself to a leisurely shower,while she napped.I chose the perfect outfit for the big day..:) one of my favourite pre-pregnancy outfit, so that I could dramatically announce to Dr.H- see this fits ALREADY!! I chose the cutest outfit for Aadya..Charged my camera battery.DH would take pictures,while we girls posed with Dr.H.Cooked some extra food the previous night,so I wouldn’t have to cook on my big day!Yeah Yeah..for all those who are thinking..what a nut I am..Yeah I am like that..:) I like to make a big deal of everything. 🙂 And this visit officially marked the end of my pregnancy 🙂 Another milestone 🙂 I had also planned to pick up a muffin basket for the staff at the Dr’s office..
Here’s what Actually happened-
Thursday evening, Dr.H’s nurse called and said that Dr.H wanted to test my blood glucose levels to see if they were back to normal,so I needed to be at the office by 8 am for the blood test and then I could come back later in the afternoon for my visit.. Sure,I can make it!
Friday night..Aadya baby just decided that night times are for playing.. so, while it was 3 am in real world.. it was playtime in Aadyaland.And just before sunrise,my little sunshine called it a day.. but only to wake up again at 7.30, screaming in hunger..So, mommy fed her, changed her and was ready leave and she pooped..long story short.. we reached the Dr’s office at 9.00. I decided to skip shower.. since i was gonna come back.. and have my planned bath before the actual visit. When I get there I am told I have to wait there for 3 hours!!! without eating!! or drinking !!! So, there I am ..No sleep, No shower,No food.. how bad can it get..Its OK..I’ll flip through some magazines, read some interesting articles n then go home and enjoy my well planned day!!!
Just as I settled down and go comfortable with some interesting articles…Aadya woke up hungry..OK, now this is really funny.. In a place full of pregnant women and new moms.. there is no place to nurse the baby..And I have still not reached the point where i can do it discreetly and if you are big-busted like me and uncomfortable about opening shop in public,you’ll know what I mean…I asked the receptionist.. and she said.. you could try the restroom!!!!And I did.. I tried nursing sitting on the toilet and it was so uncomfortable!!!! And imagine my plight when some lady kept knocking and asking rudely who was in there!!I buttoned up.. held my crying babe in my arms and came out.. I was ready to cry myself.finally the lab technician came to my rescue..she found me a spare room and ushered me in..with instructions to the nurses to watch out for me.
By the time Aadya was well-fed,it was time to get my blood drawn. this time I ran into Dr.H..she asked me what I was doing there.. n when was I seeing her.When I said that afternoon..she said no way.. She would try to fit me in while I was waiting for the blood test.She is such a sweetie.
Meanwhile, Aadya decided that she was bored of sitting in the stroller and wanted to see the world from a higher post..and how dare mommy sit down!! Walk Mommy,Walk! So, there I am pacing the waiting room with my babe in arms..Dr.H’s nurse came ,lead me inside and asked me to undress.. And that’s when I remembered my unshowered state!!! And if I could have..I would have really died of embarrassment or dug a hole and buried myself.I undressed anyway.. and hopped on the examination table.. and Aadya started to fuss.. She didn’t want to be in the stroller!! I jumped off the table,doubled up in pain,covered myself awkwardly and entertained her, gave her a pacifier..looked at my watch..it was time for my blood draw!!!UGHHHHH!! got dressed again.. hauled the stroller, got pricked and came back..All you mommies will know how I tired I must have been.. nursing the baby twice without eating or drinking.. carrying my precious cargo around..All that and no sleep!!
BTW, did I mention- in my perfectly planned visit,DH was going to be around to take care of Aadya..But he had an important meeting that morning..so was MIA.
Finally Dr.H came and examined me..I was hoping all the time that she doesn’t notice my unkempt appearance and doesn’t realise my unshowered state..She didn’t say anything about it.. and i will just pretend that she didn’t notice!She gave Aadya a T-shirt and me all-OK! and see you in an year’s time.. unless you decide to get pregnant before that 🙂 We hugged.. I felt strange.I felt like I had graduated from being Pregnant to being a Mommy..Sure that had happened a month back.. but this was like the final certificate 🙂 Strangely,I felt bad.. it was like leaving the comforts of an old friend and going out in the big bad world.. all alone.
And in the end,I didn’t get to show off in my pre-pregnancy clothes, didn’t get to dress up Aadya in her cute outfit..(though all her outfits are cute) and didn’t get any pictures with Dr.H! And nope.. didn’t get to pick up the muffin basket as well..
Ohh well!! so much for planning!
Edited to Add- I just heard from Dr.H’s nurse.My blood glucose levels came back great.. bye bye Gestational diabetes… until the next time there’s a baby in mommy tummy!
Because I brought her into this world.
Last night I was up feeding SS,and then after feeding, burping, changing she went right back to sleep but I had to stay up , because I had to hold her upright for the next 30 minutes so that she doesn’t spit up all that she painstakingly gulped down. I looked longingly at my bed, grudgingly at DH sleeping peacefully on his side of the bed and then I looked down at my beautiful baby, sleeping cozily,cuddled up in my arms and I knew that this was all worth it. Sure I love my sleep and get irritated when I have to get up in the middle of the night.I hate it even more when the whole world is sleeping.. well, at least MY whole world is sleeping and I am awake.. But this is my baby, and because I brought her in to this world,I have to take care of her.And because I love taking care of her.She didn’t ask to be born..I had her because I wanted her in my life.Will I hold it against her in about 20 years time? Heck, No!!
The reason for my rambling – As I was sitting there holding her,I was reminded of an incident that took place about 3 years back. A few weeks after we got engaged,DH got a great job offer and the company wanted him to relocate to Chennai and then go on site. He had his interview just before our lunch date and gave me the great news when we met. He was thrilled, on the top of the world.Now, DH is not a very expressive person..Well..he was not , back then.. now he is becoming more and more expressive..Anyway, Though he was not a very expressive person.. he was visibly excited and was talking 19 to a dozen about the new job and the great opportunity and what this could mean for us. We decided to go to his place and break the news to his parents. So, we reached home,sat his parents down and he broke the news. The grinner, that I am… couldn’t stop grinning… waiting for his parents to react. And did they?? Sure they did!
Father asked him all about the job, salary structure,why relocate…etc etc.. Mother ..OH well that’s another story.She, all but accused him of purposely looking for jobs outside Mumbai. She didn’t hesitate for even 1 minute before crushing her son’s happiness..Her reasons being that they took care of him when he was a kid.. rushed him to the ER when he was 6 months old.. in the middle of the night,running out of the house barefoot!And so he was being ungrateful by taking up a job away from home.Even in my love crazed-I-am-so-proud-of-my-guy state of mind,I knew there was something was not right there. DH was obviously taken on this guilt ride and was in a way relieved when that job offer didn’t materialise later for some reason. But as a mother now.. I know I am not doing anything great by raising my kid. I am doing it more for myself than for her.It is something that I want to do.. not something that she asked me to do. She didn’t ask to be born,I decided to have her!If God Forbid, I need to take my baby to the doctor at 2 am..I will run out.. in the state that I am… not just barefoot.. i wouldn’t hesitate to run out naked.. Okay well not naked.. but the point is.. you don’t think,when its your baby.You don’t spare a thought for anything.You just do it. And you definitely don’t use it to hold her back.That peaceful sleeping face, that adorable smile its all reward enough. When my daughter has to make a career choice or any other important decision,I hope to God,I can be there to support her decision. And instead of holding her back,I hope I can hold her close and tell her that it is the best thing that happened to her and she should go ahead and make the most of it.
Why do some parents expect the child to be grateful for what they have done for him or her? Will I also be that kind of a parent?Will I expect something in return for what I doing now? Something other than love for the loving care I give my baby?will she not be doing this for her kids?
So, after a lot of thinking I decided to post this on this blog, something that SS can use as a written proof , if later on in life,her mommy decides to act all crazy !
Dearest darling SS,
May you grow big and strong. May you be successful in all you do. And we promise to be there for you , at all times…
And we want you to be comfortable with us and to be confident enough to share everything with us… even if you commit a crime, we want you to be comfortable to come and tell us what you did..( not that I am encouraging you to be a criminal) I just want you to know that we are there for you!
Love you loads..
Mumma-Papa!
And I cant just end this post without saying something to two very special people-
Thanx Papa,for being there for me & sis…Thanx for loving us completely and unconditionally..Thanx for accepting my choice as your own..Thanx for supporting DH & me , when we needed it the most..
And Mumma,I know you are watching over us..Now that I am a mom, I need you and miss you even more..Thanx for loving us the way you did… Thanx for being the kind of mom that I want to be..Love you guys!
15 Marbles 
