15 Marbles

So, it’s been 6 weeks since the operation and I have had a lot of time to think, process, think more and forget about the world. I love people and love talking nineteen to dozen but not needing to hold a conversation and keeping the smile up has been nice too.

I have been content staying home, reading, binge-watching shows and having occasional visitors. I have said this to whoever cares to listen but really that’s what most of my 6 weeks looked like. I have read more books than I have in the last 3-4 years – I have NEVER watched so much TV in my entire 46 years and that’s saying something 😃

I feel rested, but most importantly I feel like my brain has had the chance to slow down and push out the chaos that it has felt for the last 2 years. I don’t mean to say that the over-thinker in me has left the building- no – she is still very much there but my new motto has been better out there than in my head and so far that’s helping.

I learnt early on in the recovery that expecting everyone to read my mind will lead to disappointment so I now state what I need from my family and friends: ‘I need this /that’ ‘please don’t say – xyz’ ‘I would love a coffee’ ‘can you pick me up/ drop me there’ – just little things but saying them out loud tells me that everyone is happy to do things / help me and it’s OK to ask for help.

I have also learned that I don’t have to do everything myself at home – the husband and the teens are equally able and capable to do the same things. I just need to remember this as I get stronger and the urge to do everything myself takes over . Yes, that’s a life skill that I had to learn very quickly – now the challenge is to keep practicing it.

There’s so much more that I wanted to say but I took a break to watch my shows .. so, this is where I will stop ..

Love and smiles,

Trish ❤️❤️