Here’s an article I wrote for Helium,nearly 2 years back-it was deleted due to leapfrog..but,I just wanted to share it here.

It was our regular Wednesday mall outing.My daughter,was 18 months old then.We both had always enjoyed our day at the mall till then.But something went wrong that day.I don’t even remember what triggered the meltdown,but it went on for more than 45 minutes.I tried to calm her ,paced around with her,pushed her around in the stroller,offered her a drink,a snack,tried all the usual things,but nothing worked.When I couldn’t take it anymore,I just sat down with her,in a quiet corner and rocked her back&forth,till she stopped.We were both tired and spent.That was one of her first meltdowns.We have had many more since then.But,now,I have learned to anticipate the meltdown,before it occurs.

I realised that encouraging your toddlers to behave in public or at home is more about watching them and their cues.Now I steer her clear of possible triggers-like a carousel(when we don’t have enough time) and distract her,mid-tantrum.I have realised that consistency is the key to good behaviour.you cannot have different rules for home and outside.If you expect your child to share,be gentle,say please and thank you,when you are in public,then,you have to start with training him/her to do the same at home.And toddlers aim to please.My daughter loves being appreciated,and thats exactly what we do every time,she does something right.

Restaurants and long queues top the list,as tantrum triggers.It is really hard to keep your child in her seat,when she sees other kids,running around.I carry new toys,to distract my daughter.They keep her busy for sometime.Playing some interactive games work too.But,its a good idea to be ready to leave,or take your child outside,if the tantrum gets out of hand.

It is very easy to get carried away,when you are excited.In play areas,we watch her,remind her to be gentle,to share but at the same time,we don’t want to be over-bearing.I prefer to stand back and watch,stepping in only when required.Just the other day,we were in the play place and this boy,was pushing everyone,not sharing the toys.Other moms watched for a bit,waiting for his mom to step in and when she didn’t,one of the moms told him to stop pushing,a bit sternly.Then,the mother came in rushing,flushed.To hide her embarrassment,she scolded the child,embarrassing him,in turn.Personally,I would rather intervene sooner,than be embarrassed later.

My daughter is almost two years old now and we see a remarkable change in her behaviour,both at home and outside.She shares easily,says thank you and please,without prompting,listens to Nos and generally,collects a lot of compliments about being a well-behaved child.Some days are bad too..but all of us have our good and bad days and so,do our toddlers.If we keep that in mind,I think we would be able to tide over bad days and with consistence and positive reinforcement,we can hope for good behaviour,MOST of the times.

A nice bowl of fruit fruit!!

Black Bean and corn salad*drool*

followed by steaming hot spinach-artichoke dip with corn chips

And Finally,yummy kulfi Falooda for dessert!!!

[All images courtesy Google Images]

I turned 31 on the 19th.Yes,people I am officially on the other side of the big Three-Oh and I am loving it!No really,last year,even a few weeks before my birthday,I was in shock..”I am going to turn thirty!Wow!When did that happen??” But this year,I am all zen.After all,its just an age..and good one too.Now,I have the license to act kiddish,to my hearts content-at the risk of sounding whimsical,but whimsical is good-I like whimsical..and also,the license,to tell someone to get off my back..because I am a thirty plus woman..Surely I know what I want!
If someone would have asked me on my 21st birthday,where I saw myself at 31,I would have said-In a plush lab,somewhere in the US of A. Now,I know..life doesn’t always go as we plan..and what we end up with after the diversion is not necessarily a bad thing.Well,I would be lying if I said,I have given up on that dream..I still haven’t..infact,I know truly,I would be the happiest,when I am in lab..mixing solutions or testing some human samples. Its just that the priorities have shifted.The dream job in a lab will follow,as soon as we have managed to get all the kids raised:D
For now,I am really happy to be where I am.I wanted to have two kids,by the time,I turned 30..umm..well,we are almost there.I am happy to have a family,just like I wanted.And I happy to be able to give them,as much time,as I want..without feeling guilty or compromising on anything.
If at 21,I knew that I was going to get hormonal problems,I would have taken better care of myself.I dunno,if that would have helped me avoid the hormonal problems,but atleast,I would have been in a better shape,when the problems started.
This is not some sort of a keeping scores post..so lets get to the actual birthday and the celebrations.This year I got an early birthday gift from DH- a new laptop! and Aadya insisted on getting me another one..because,it wasn’t my birthday until saturday and how could I have a birthday,without getting a gift on that day!

DH got the most amazing melt-in-your mouth Fruit Flan and uff..it was sinfully delicious. Ms.Aadya started singing “Happy Birthday” from the moment she woke,interspersed with kisses and cuddles..Wow!that was really my most favorite part of the day!We got out of bed,got dressed and cut the cake..and had that for breakfast!Then,we headed out to a beautiful homestead cafe for brunch!!It was the most amazing place..infact the best place,we went to since we moved to Australia. The cafe itself was setup in the middle of a huge farm(?) -there was greenery,wherever u looked..and the beach was just a 5 minute walk away! Gosh!and the food..good old homecooked farm style breakfast! yummmm.
DH had to go to work,so we came home and he headed out.Then,I found out that friend M was home alone with her adorable 17 month old too,so Aadi and I went over to her place and had some awesome girlie time-talking endlessly,going to the coffee shop.. lazing around..good fun!I hadn’t done that in a long time..for once on my bday,I didnt feel home sick for my sis n BFF!
DH came home in the evening and then we went n got some take-out dinner.Aadya dozed off on our way back,so we got a little bit of alone time.DH gave me a nice foot-rub and back rub..just what I needed at the end of a long day!
By 10:30 PM,I was in bed,with a book-when my phone rang.It was BFF-1 calling ..as soon as she heard my voice,she started screaming..LOL!Want to know why?Well,apparently,she had been trying all my numbers,starting from the time I was in Canada to all the various places in USA and then finally got through on my mobile!!I don’t know who all got wished a Happy birthday that day! We had a nice long chat and hung up,feeling so good.Somethings don’t change.BFF-1 isn’t very net savvy and so we don’t really email or anything..but we talk a couple times in the year..but,the warmth just keeps increasing.
Then,I returned BFF-2’s call.I had missed her call,twice,during the day.And chatting with her for the next half and hour! She is just opening a restaurant..and I am so proud of her.She quit her day job to follow her dream..and I couldn’t be happier..if anyone deserves to succeed,its her.If you are in /visiting Baroda,let me know..I will give you the details.
And the day ended…but the year has just begun..and I am so looking forward to this year-for the obvious reasons 🙂
Here’s hoping this year is happier and healthier than the last three decades!

..is beautiful too!

A few days back,Shruti asked in a post what was the fun thing that you did today?
Well here’s our fun thing of the day:
We made scary faces. In other words,we put on a face pack!Hehehe.
My skin has become very dry lately.So,I had been planning to put a home-made face mask.Aadya wanted one too..she wanted a scary face like me too. And she wanted to help me mix it. She got the Multani Mitti(Fuller’s earth) from the fridge and poured a little in a bowl.I added a few strands of saffron,some lemon juice,a little honey and some rose water and mixed it up.
Ms.Aadya was ready.She waited patiently,while I applied it to her face..though she had a hard time,controlling her giggles. Then she watched me apply it to my face and we sat next to each other,watching some songs,waiting for it to dry!
It was really nice..pure girlie fun.
Oh and I am liking my face a little more than I did yesterday!:)
Have a good weekend folks!

I have had this page open for a good 10 minutes and still cannot think of what to write.
For starters,I am tired..very tired-just had a long day,not much rest and then got sick…so,yeah not in a good mood.
Actually,not in a bad mood..just cranky!LOL!
I could tell you about the argument I had with DH..well nothing big..we were just chatting and pop,went a fuse!!And I knew it..I am getting angrier and hotter..and couldn’t do anything to cool down.Poor guy has been walking on egg-shells since he got back home..Me,I am fine,thank you!
I could also write about the 2 and 1/2 books that I finished in the two days,when I didn’t have a laptop.I found some new books in the library,last weekend-Three books by an Indian Author,Manju Sharma.I finished two of the three-called A Married Woman and Home.Both the stories are set in Delhi and reminded me of the monthly(sometimes bi-monthly) trips to Delhi.My dad’s sister lived there and it was just an over-night train ride.We,sisters,loved following our much older cousins around.I will put up book reviews later.
Or I could tell you about the beautiful National Anthem of Bangladesh,sung at the opening ceremony of WorldCup 2011. I actually stopped to listen to it.The beautiful chorus and the lovely sound of the words-wow! The singers dressed in Green and red Sarees and Red Kurtas..Looked so nice..the whole thing had such a nice ring to it.
There..I think its quite acceptable,as a post..:P isn’t it?I was tempted to just skip..seeing as I have already missed a couple days this month..but then,I decided to atleast try and see ,it worked!
Alright you lovely people..I am off to bed!See you tomorrow.

Last night,I was up playing around with my new laptop and was also channel surfing.DH recently got a cable connection to watch the World Cup and for a change,I had complete control of the remote.First I watched a documentary about a missionary couple Martin and Gracia.They spent 1 year in a jungle,in captivity,after being kidnapped by terrorists in Phillipines.It was hard to switch off the TV till I knew that they were OK. And the more I watched,more I admired them. Martin for his resilience and Gracia for her courage.
After that finished,I was just channel surfing more,when I came across this show and to say,that I was disgusted with it ,will be an understatement. One of the stories covered yesterday was of twin girls,competing against each other.And the mother openly praised one over the other.She was so competitive that she didn’t think twice before telling twin A that her sister,Twin B was better than her and she should learn something from her.I know as parents we sometimes,tell or point out to our kids-“Look at so-n-so.What S/he is doing is so nice”..But,when I saw that show,I realised,how hurtful it is for the kid,who is hearing this. Twin A,kept saying,”My sister is really good..I am nothing compared to her.I cannot to be perfect like her.”And the mother,just kept saying,”Oh Twin B is my star..I know she is a star..Twin A,well,yeah she isn’t as good as her star sister”,all this with a stupid superior grin on her face.Yuck!I was really put off.
And then,today,I read this and I thought to myself..”OMG!this is the worst nightmare for every mother.”I know,when I was pregnant with Aadya,I used to get dreams,where I would be walking,still pregnant and drop the baby,midway through and some stranger would come running to hand her over to me. OR that I went out shopping and realised after reaching home that I had forgotten my baby home! OMG! even now when I think of it,I break into cold sweat.I can just imagine,what she must have gone through. Sleep-deprived is worst state to be in. Some days I didn’t even remember if I had a bath or not..I am so glad she had the sense to call triple-0. The lines below make me feel so much more secure in the knowledge that you have someone to rely on in case of an emergency:
It was a move that was praised by emergency services.

“When you have kids and you’re sleep-deprived, you will not blame this person one bit,” Metropolitan Fire Brigade spokesman John Rees was quoted by the Age as saying.

“The mother has done exactly the right thing. Don’t take a chance.”
Disclaimer:This post has been written to just have my say and not to create a controversy!

Ms.Aadya has always been a light sleeper.Even when she was a baby,she would take mini-power naps and wake up fresh.But,her bedtime has been my most troubled time of the day,since we moved to melbourne.Trust me,in the last 2 and half years that we have lived here,I have tried so many things and given up.I have ranted a lot about this. I have been frustrated,she is irritated and scared and dilly dallies more,making me angrier..Its a vicious circle.I read up about this-got books,googled etc.

 Most sources suggested putting her to bed and leaving the room. I tried that and she just cried and cried and cried-breaking our hearts.Next I tried putting her to bed and staying in the room,reading or working on the laptop;that didn’t work either.She just took even longer to sleep. I cut down her afternoon naps and then she was falling asleep at 7.00pm and waking up fresh in an hour. I even tried letting her stay up till she couldn’t any more..And she would happily stay up till even after midnight if  we let her. There was no escaping the screaming and tears,really it was irritating and frustrating.

Then,two nights back,she didn’t fall asleep till midnight,despite being in bed since 10:00 pm.That was the last straw.We were both super cranky next morning and I just had to give it another go.  So,I let her stay up all day.No naps.TV time was restricted to 2 hours v/s 4-5 and no TV after lunch.I don’t like her watching too much TV,but I have been sick and TV is the most convenient baby sitter. So,I was saying,restricted TV time.After lunch,we just read,did puzzles,or just pretend played and rested.I finished cooking in the afternoon,as against evenings and so,we could go out to the park or for a walk,in the evening.

After we returned from the walk,she would have her shower and then we’d finish dinner,play some and start the bed-time routine and be in bed between 8:15-8:30. This is where I brought in the major change.Instead of sitting with my book or laptop,I turned off all the lights and cuddled with her,told her a story without a book,cuddled some more and the poor thing was out in 10-15 minutes.And I can’t tell you,how much relaxed I am after getting some me-time.And more importantly,she is well rested in the morning and so much happier.

This proves to me yet again that parenting is all instinct..what may work for 10 others,may not necessarily work for you.Its upto you,as a parent to find the right thing for you and your child.So,far I have only tried this for two nights,but,I know we have got a breakthrough in our bedtime problem.

In other news,today was the second day at Kinder and it was alright too.Aadya came home and rattled off a few names and also,told me that one of the little girls played with her.:)

Yesterday,8th February was Aadya’s first day of Kindergarten.She spent the whole week before that counting days and nights till the first day of school. On the previous night,we picked out her clothes,shoes,socks everything,packed her school bag and went to bed.I thought I’d let her sleep in a little,since,we didn’t have to leave till 1.00. But,no,she was too excited to sleep in.She was up at 8:30am and the first thing,she said was, “Good Morning Mumma!Is it my first day of school?” all said in one breath. There was no way she could sleep anymore.All she wanted to do was get ready and go to school.I gave her a list of tasks to finish before getting ready- Brush,breakfast,toilet,shower etc. And she finished them all in record time. “Can I get ready now?”,she asked again! Then,I made her bring the clock out and showed her the time,when she could get ready.Somehow,it was 1 o’clock and despite the pre-planning,she changed her clothes twice.She wanted to take some crackers,yogurt and carrot sticks for lunch. The lunch was packed and we were off.

We reached the school 10 minutes early and that seemed like forever to her.Finally,the teacher opened the door and Ms.Aadya was the first one in.Before I had even signed her in,she got busy in home corner. Her teacher led her to the mat,where they were going to have introductions. They had puzzles laid out and she settled down happily with one.I went to kiss her g’bye and she remembered she wanted to go to toilet.So,I took her to toilet and gave her another kiss and left.

Before we left from home,DH sent me a message saying all the best and don’t cry.This time,it was easier to leave her .. may be because she seemed happy there.And I guess,her being in daycare had prepared her for being away from me.

When I went to pick her up,she was tired but still excited.I asked her how her day was and did she have a nice time.And she replied yes to both.When I asked if she made any new friends,she replied ” no one came to the home corner,so I played by myself.”I guess,that will change in time.I am not so worried about her making friends,because I know,eventually she will.The only thing I am worried about is,her being the youngest in class.Some of the kids are nearly 5 or even older and here,my little baby is not even 4.Oh,well!I am not going to worry about it now..but,yes!I am going to keep an eye out to see how she is coping.

Thanks for all the good wishes:)