17 months and counting….

September 2, 2008 MysTri Mum10 Comments

Can you believe it?? In another month,my baby girl would be one and a half years old.Aadya turned 17 months young,over the weekend I completely forgot about the 16 month post..and so,this one has to be written.Co-incidentally,Aadya was sick on both her 16 month and 17th month birthday.My poor baby has fever since yesterday and her cold and cough doesn’t seem to be going away.

She has evolved so much in these last two months.She is getting more and more communicative.She knows how to effectively use pointing and words. If she wants something,she drags us by the hand, and points at the thing that she wants. If she wants to watch TV, she points at it.That’s another story,that she turns it off,when we are watching it and not paying attention to her. She knows that her favorite song,Lakdi ki kathi can be watched on the computer,so she points at the computer,when she wants to listen to that. She points at the fridge when she wants milk or fruit. If she wants milk,she brings her sippy cup to us!

And she is trying to say so many words.Whatever you say,she has to repeat it or try to repeat it. She is a big copy-cat. She is seen walking around,with the phone propped between her shoulder and neck.Obviously,why not? That is how mamma holds the phone! The keys on the keyboard have to be typed at furiously..not slowly,not one by one.Her fingers even imitate mine. The food is to be eaten with a spoon or fork. She waits patiently for the spoon if I forget to give it to her.

And the funniest is when she tries to laugh. Its so cute.When we are laughing,she crinkles up her nose and pretends to laugh.And she always has to have the last laugh!!She won’t quit till the last person has stopped laughing!

She likes to choose her own clothes.So,I lay out two outfits for her and let her pick one. She things she has done something great and happily lets me dress her.If she doesn’t like what she is wearing,she just takes it off. No one told me how your work increases ten fold,when your child learns to undress herself.And God!how she hates her diapers. She just doesn’t want to keep it on.The moment she pees,she takes it off and gives it to me. In a way its good.I know she is ready to be Potty trained..but, with this move and everything else that goes with it,I don’t want to start potty training her. Anyway,she now,points at the bathroom and wants me to take off her diaper,when she wants to pee,which is another sign that she is ready!

This last month,has been great for the father-daughter duo. Aadi is getting more and more attached to her dad. Earlier,she would play with him,but when it was time to sleep or if she was hungry,she needed only mumma. But now, sometimes,she goes to her Papa. And falls asleep as soon as he picks her up. And on some days,I spend so much time, putting her down for a nap,all he has to do is pick her up!and she puts her head on his shoulder and dozes off in 5 minutes.Bedtimes are also incomplete without Papa.She keeps looking out for him,till he doesn’t come and join us .

She loves to gently touch our faces with her hands.Its so amazing,feeling that soft little hand on our faces. At other times,the meltdowns continue.We are kind of able to recognise the signs now, and many meltdowns have been successfully averted. Though there are some that still can’t be helped. Like today, she didn’t want to put on her diaper and her Papa just put it on her,forcefully. And she got upset and she cried and cried..flinging her body..not listening..just crying. I think she was tired and not well. He took her out,I walked with her,then showed her the magic of flicking switches and making everything bright.That cheered her up.

In these 17 months, she has grown so much(knock on the wood),changed so much,from the little baby,we brought home.This change is amazing. I don’t know what else to say..But leave you with this

17 day old wonder

17 month old monkey

general · Mommy time · parenting · Tales from Aadyaland · Weaning

Weaning from Bottle to sippy cup

July 29, 2008 MysTri Mum4 Comments

Sooooooooo, we have been bottle-free for a little over 3 weeks now..Yayyy!
This is one transition,I was worried about.I had heard so many horror stories of babies crying their heads off for their bottles and being the weak heart that I am..I just wasn’t ready for it. My own siser didnt want to give up her bottle and one day,my mom just “accidentally” dropped it in front of her and she cried her hearts out over bottle “tutti”,I wondered how I would break this solid bottled.Since I had to wean her off breast-feeding too,I decided to take things slow,one thing at a time.
But when we went for Aadya’s 15 month check up,her pediatrician said that she should have been off the bottle by then..Her reasoning behind it was that bottle just adds to empty calories. It made sense to me..This little girl would any day trade in her bowl of dal rice for a bottle of milk.
So,I decided,it was time to take things seriously.In part,I think I waited this long because I was lazy.I mean she was drinking from an open cup and sipping from the straw too.But,it meant more cleaning..sitting with her for 20 minutes..holding the cup,so she could drink it.So,I just kept putting it off. And she had almost given up on her sippy cups.She refused to take it.Thus began my quest for the perfect sippy cup..something that she liked.
First I tried again with her old sippy cups, the ones with soft rubber spouts from Nuby .She sipped from it for exactly two minutes.Next I tried some no-name brands from Walgreens and CVS,just to get her interested.But all she wanted to do was play with them.I re-tried Avent Trainer spout..She cried through the whole thing and didn’t drink any milk.I think she was so used to the quick flow in the bottle nipple that sucking from a sippy cup required strength and she didn’t think it was worth the effort.
My friend P had been telling me about how her son baby A liked his sippy cup,which had a straw in it.Then it dawned on me..that she loves sipping from straws so why not try one like baby A’s.I found one and tried giving her some water in it..She took it..And in fact,started drinking water from that cup,every single time.Yayy..so we had a winner.But she still wouldn’t drink milk from it.
Now,I know Aadi is the hungriest when she wakes up from her nap.So,one day,I just offered her the sippy cup,filled with milk,instead of her bottle and she took it.But the flow in this cup was too fast for her to gulp.It was fine for water but not for milk.
So, we tried two more and finally found one which required slightly more work to get the milk out.It was one of those spill-proof cups from Playtex.I let Aadya choose the cup.And made a big deal about it. First I tried sucking from it..like P had suggested and then,made the valve slightly larger with the help of a knife. And gave her milk in it.
We did the after nap milk in the sippy cup,for about a week.But she still needed her bottle first thing in the morning and at nap-times and bed times.I tried taking away the nap-time bottle and she cried and cried..and it broke my heart. I let her keep it. And i think a big hindrance was a bleeding heart Papa too.Every time,I tried to take the bottle away,at bed-time or nap time he would give in to the tears and give her the bottle.
Then,one morning,I just replaced the first bottle of the day with her new shiny sippy cup! I was nervous and kept the bottle by the bed..ready to jump out the bed and transfer the milk from cup to bottle.So,I gave her the sippy cup..and both of us ooh-aahed over the new cup..And cuddled with her from both sides.And SHE drank!and finished !!! all the milk. That was a start.
After that I never gave her a bottle in the morning.Even if it meant scrubbing the sippy with my eyes shut after a long tiring day..I did it.
2 days after that I tried giving her the sippy at nap time again..And again she cried and cried and refused to drink from the sippy cup. The next day,I gave her the sippy cup 10 minutes before her nap time and let her play with it..Then asked her if she wanted milk and poured some in it ,in front of her.She was excited..we counted the seconds off the microwave together.. and then I gave her the sippy cup. She drank from it..and then threw the cup and then turned over and slept.I kept up this routine..followed by lots of Ooh-ing and aah-ing. and good jobs!
But we were still left with the bed time bottle..That one took longer to get rid off.But, I started giving it to her,around 2o minutes before bed time.That way,she drank her milk,we played,read and then lights off. But surprisingly 3 days into this routine and she was off the bottle.
On the 4th day,I was cooking and she was sitting on the kitchen counter,and spotted the bottle.She pointed it out to me..”This?” I said,”yes baby..that’s your bottle.”Aadi ko chahiye?”[Does Aadi want it?].And gave it to her..she looked at it,upside down and then held it for the longest minute and then chucked it,in favor of something else.The bottle is still on the kitchen counter.but she is not interested anymore.I guess she was more or less ready for the change. Also what helped was that she saw the milk in the cup,and so knew that she was getting the good stuff.I would really recommend getting those see-through sippy cups for beginners.If they see what they are going to down,they gulp it happily.
Like last time,this time also I tried step by step elimination..I don’t think I would have been able to go cold turkey.Oh..and most of all,it was possible because I took away the last two feeds-the nap-time and the bed-time bottle,on a weekday..when Sanj was working!hehehe..EVIL mommy!
But its so funny.. right from Day one Aadya has known..when he is around and always cries out to him for attention.Even when she was 2 or 3 days old,and I was trying to get her to latch on,she would try to cooperate if it was just the two of us,in the room.But when Sanj was in the room too,she would definitely cry and scream..like asking him for help!!And every single time,it worked.He would get mad at me and want to take her away from me..like I was some evil mother..torturing his princess. Gosh!we fought so much in those first 4 days…it was like that’s all we seemed to be doing.. every time,she cried,whoever was holding her,would get yelled at. I asked Sanj to “get out of the room” one time when he yelled at me,for forcing her to latch on!!Hehehe crazy times..Imagine,you spend so much time worrying about whether your baby is going to breast feed or not..and then you spend even more time worrying about whether she will ever be weaned off or not. 🙂
All the best Cee Kay,Rads and Mona 🙂

general · Mommy time · parenting · Tales from Aadyaland · Weaning

Weaning off breast-feeding

July 28, 2008 MysTri Mum3 Comments

A friend wanted to know how I weaned Aadya from Breast-feeding.
And just the very next day, Mona and I were chatting when she asked me about how I weaned Aadi off her bottle and after giving her a few pointers,I decided to write a post about it. We had trouble breast feeding initially and that’s when I had decided to breast-feed Aadya for about 15 months..against the recommended 1 year,as if to make up for time lost.
So,when she turned 1 year old,she was both bottle-fed and breast-fed and her pediatrician told me to try and get her off the bottle in time for her first birthday.But the bottle was so darn convenient..more than her,I think I was the one who wasn’t ready to let go of it.Every time we were out in the car and she was crying,I would prop the bottle in her mouth and she would be happy. I am quiet sure,that on certain days,she used the bottle as a replacement of her pacifier..but whatever kept her quiet.
The day after she turned one,I started her on whole milk and she loved it. Since the pediatrician was already nagging me to get rid of the bottle,I tried giving her milk in a sippy cup,and then in an open cup. She refused to drink milk in the sippy cup..as it was for water ONLY.She would drink from the open cup,but soon the novelty wore off and we were back to the bottle.
In the mean-time,I was trying to fit in cups/bottles of whole milk with breast-feeding.So,I first replaced the mid-morning feed with a cup or bottle of milk.She was happy..Slowly after a week or ten days,we replaced the after-nap feed with the bottle too. And so on we continued till only two feeds were left- the early morning and bed time feed. By this time she was almost 14 months.
Then one I was too tired and Sanj let me sleep in and gave Aadya her bottle.And she was equally happier.She snuggled close to between us and happily sipped her bottle and then dozed off again.Sanj was happy too,because this time she was cuddling with him,instead of me. And that was one of the last morning feeds.And we were down to just one feed,sometimes two,but mostly one at bed-time.About 2 weeks before she turned 15 months,we were out all day.one Saturday and she didn’t fuss or ask to be nursed.And i didn’t offer after we came back.Next day,again,we were out,but that she kept tugging at my shirt.I gave her the bottle and she was OK.When we came back,I did nurse her.But,I knew it was just a paci-feed. She nursed a little and then just snuggled up.
After that,every time,she tugged at my shirt,I would give her the bottle,and cuddle up..snuggle real tight.And soon,we were completely weaned off.One week later,I woke up and realised,that Aadya hadn’t nursed for one whole week.
I had heard and read of so many things about weaning the baby-horror stories about physical discomfort etc.. but the thing that worked for us was gradual elimination ..By the time,we finished,we were both ready to let go.I did feel a little bad,initially..I think I was a little depressed over the fact that my baby is growing up too soon..But the fact that I could be more independent and have more choices when we were out,made me feel good.The first time I ordered a Latte for myself and organic milk for the baby..I felt GOOD!!
So,all you mommas trying to wean off your baby, be patient..its going to happen..when you and the baby both are ready. Go slow..be persistent and you will be fine.
But if you do decide to go cold turkey,be sure,you have lots of cabbage in your refrigerator and a good painkiller,on your bed-side table.
Why Cabbage you ask? The instructor at the parenting and child-birth course we attended,was also a lactation consultant and she suggested stuffing the bra with cold cabbage leaves, if you have to stop breast-feeding immediately.
I haven’t tried it..but she swore by it and even claimed to have tried it herself.
So, good luck!
Transition from Bottle to Sippy-cup coming up next.

Mall · Munchkin Mania · parenting · play-time · Tales from Aadyaland

Play-date and a Meltdown averted

July 21, 2008 MysTri Mum8 Comments

First of all,Thank you everyone,who took the time to write to me,after my last post.I still don’t know,what could have triggered that meltdown. I am guessing,it was hunger,mixed with waking up at a strange HOT place. Well whatever it was,left me tired and scared.
So,two days after that,when we got asked to a play-date at the same mall,I was not too thrilled.But,I didn’t want to miss out on meeting some friends and so agreed to go.
We had decided to meet near the play-area.Now, this is a place,that we go to at least once,sometimes twice a week. But, that day,Aadya refused to get out of her stroller. Have I mentioned,how much she loves her new stroller? She will happily sit in it for hours,if we just keep moving.Now,grocery-trips and walks are good fun for us too.So,she refused to get out of her stroller..I forcefully got her out,she saw the kids and was happy.Then,I took off her shoes.Have I mentioned,shoes are the next favorite on her list?The moment she wakes up,she goes off toddling,to look for her shoes and then demands”Mumma,Thiss”-the shoes need to be put on then.And she walks around all day,wearing those shoes..Sometimes,wearing just her diaper and the shoes.
Anyway,not to digress,I quickly took off the shoes,distracted her and took her to the place,where my friend was sitting.Now Aadi always runs off to play,as soon as we get inside the play=area.But that day she saw,my friends baby,S.S was hanging on to her mommy and so Aadi,tried to be friends with her. first said Hi, then,tugged at her hand,pointed at the tunnel.That didn’t work.Then,this little doll,went and hugged S.They are the same age and so,it was nice,watching them,together.Both the girls,were such opposites..Aadi,open,uninhibited and S,shy,reserved. S, was getting scared..and I sat down,next to Aadi and had a little mommy-baby talk with her,about how S was upset and didn’t want to play then..and could she go and play with some one else.I dunno how much she understood,but she left S alone,after that.
Another friend arrived with her two boys.The younger one is almost one and he was clutching a small box that had some raisins it ,for his snack. The box was an attractive yellow,that Aadya fancied,almost immediately.But who cares about such small things when,you can run and play. But,she didn’t forget.
We came out of the play-area and gave the kids their snacks.Also,each one passed around their snack boxes for the other kids to share.And when the box of raisins came along,Aadi wanted the whole thing. She was munching on her grapes, but refused to let go of that. I picked up a couple raisins and passed it along.
Now, she got really angry and showed me the FINGER! Err..Her forefinger,threatening to shove it up her nose!eww I know. This is the newest “cool thing”.one or two times,I saw the finger hovering around the nostril and said NO! And since then,the little brat knows that its something that bothers mommy and so,every time she is angry with me,she threatens to put her finger in her nose.So,she showed me the finger and I said,”No,Don’t be angry.That’s not yours, you can eat your grapes.”She asked for the raisins again.Again,I said No! And this time,the finger went up the nose. I glared at her, pulled it out,sneaked glances at my girl-friends.Everyone was busy with their little ones. By now she got upset and started crying.I excused myself and took her for a walk. A short quiet walk..she stopped crying and called out to me. I stopped walking and hugged her,offered her some water,wiped her hands and offered her the grapes again. This time she took the grapes. I let her eat the grapes,while I spoke to her quietly. When she finished her snack,we joined the group again. This time she was calmer and happier..working her charm on everyone .:)
I am so glad,I wrote about her last melt-down and I am so glad,that you all took the time to write to me..
The rest of the play-date was so much fun..Almost everyone,wanted to take her home with them 🙂 and one time,she even waved bye-bye to me ..and refused to come,when i stretched my arms,out to her.
Guess, all’s well.I Haven’t been threatened with the finger in the last two days..it was the weekend and we were busy clinging to daddy..both,mom and baby.The last time,she got angry,she threatened to switch off the TV..and glared at me with the same stern look,that I give her. How, Oh how,does she know,what is more important when?
And speaking of how does she know,how does she know,the difference between a yellow ball and yellow Laddu(sweet)? The ball,she plays with and the laddu,she pops in her mouth even without being prompted! I know for sure,I didn’t teach her that! So,how does she know??

bookstore · Mall · Meltdowns · Munchkin Mania · parenting · Tales from Aadyaland

Mother of All Meltdowns.

July 18, 2008 MysTri Mum13 Comments

Yesterday Sanj had his Doc’s appointment first thing in the morning and was going to come home for an early lunch and so,I was busy getting lunch ready all morning.And Aadya missed her morning nap too. So,by lunch time,she was so droopy eyed. I thought she would sleep,as soon as she finished eating,but didn’t happen.

Later in the afternoon,I took Aadya to the mall.We had a nice time,walking around,window shopping.She was so excited,she didn’t even want to take her nap. I also didn’t force her and really,I couldn’t have even if I wanted to.We went to the play area-she loves playing there,but yesterday she didn’t want to get out of her stroller.So,I just kept walking.

We went to Barnes and Noble,bookstore and she was so excited to be in the children’s section.She almost jumped out of her stroller.We played with the assorted soft toys, then,noticed the train set and abandoned the toys..Poor Mumma had to pick up everything.while zooming one engine after the other,the little eyes spotted something pink and purple..( the favorite colors ever!!) and the train set was left behind.The pink and purple thing was actually a ride-on Car!!Some one Else’s!! and so obviously very interesting. I told her no first time,she listened..then,turned around to take one last glance and got attracted again..and again..

I had to pick her up and carry her to the other side,where I thought we would cuddle up and read some books..or flip some pages.But no such thing happened.She spotted a group,that was much more interesting than just plain old mumma. There was a mommy,a grandma and yuppieeeeeeeee 3 kids! So, Mumma was promptly forgotten and the Princess,decided to go and spend her evening with them. Mumma coaxed her to say “bye-bye” and then we sat down to read.4-5 pages and she was bored.We picked another book..this time a puppet book..Elmo and he clapped too. That she liked. And then,suddenly just like that she was bored,got up,said..bye..and left. I followed her..so she decided to play catch..She ran and went and hid behind two teen aged girls.I picked her up,put her in the stroller and took a deep long breath,found a comfortable chair,near the glass overlooking the walkway,gave her the snack cup.She sat looking out,munching her fruit,while I happily read my book. All was well in my world.

Then,tummy full,she slept,while we were window shopping.As soon as I saw her sleeping,I rushed back to the bookstore cafe and ordered myself a white chocolate mocha.I needed it after all that..and in retrospect,for later too. So,I sat sipping my coffee,reading my book.I must have just finished half of my mocha,when the princess woke up.First,she smiled at me sweetly,I started moving the stroller,hoping that she would sleep..but no,she woke up and she was angry.She started crying.I gave her some water,she said NO..cookie NO! By then she was bawling.I tried to come out of the book store..and she started thrashing..I took her out of the stroller.BIG mistake. She got even mad.I tried to put her back in the stroller,and she slipped out..GAhhhhhhhhhhh…

Everyone around me was staring at me..waiting to see what I do. The new stroller is light..it has no cup holders and if the bag on the handle is too heavy and the stroller empty it tips over. So,as soon as Aadya slipped /jumped out,the stroller fell down.So,I grabbed her with one hand,steadied the stroller with another.She wiggled out and ran toward the exit..I pushed the stroller and ran after her..once outside,she walked around angry and crying..for some more time..she didn’t want me to pick her up.I set up both the bags on the stroller and picked her up,rushed to Starbucks and bought milk for her.She loves the organic vanilla milk there.But yesterday she just refused to drink it. I ordered another ice tea for myself.I was tired and sweating..I am not kidding and I had forgotten my mocha,in the bookstore..There was no way I was going back there.

The crying continued..She was so sad/upset/angry.Even when I was carrying her,she was crying.She was hugging me tight and crying.And she didn’t want me to sit down.And she didn’t want to eat or drink.I decided to go to the family lounge-so that if she needs a diaper change,I will do that there or if she just wants to cry..she can do so,but I will be spared the pointed looks of bystanders. So,I just put her sippy cup,my iced tea cup in the diaper bad,set it on the stroller and carried Aadya in my arms. And she decided,she wanted to push the stroller..while I was holding her.I managed to reach the family lounge..And this whining monster turned all sunshiny.I thought..wow..I looked up to two girls walking by with their moms..So,the smiles were for them.

They passed us by and the whining started again. I just sat down on the chair in the family lounge..The Tandav continued for some more time and then,like an angel,a mom came out of the restroom with her daughter I think 4-5 year old. Aadi saw them and started smiling,waving at them..I almost went down on my knees and asked her to please not leave me alone..ever!! She gave me an understanding look..and said”honey this too shall pass”..”I hope so”..I mumbled.. They stayed and talked to us for a while..

The moment passed..and Madame cooled down. I offered her all the same things again..her milk,her water,her snack and my iced-tea.She chose my iced-tea,obviously..and sipped it daintily..If I told anyone at that moment that this was the same little girl,who had a melt-down minutes ago,they would laugh on my face.Then,I offered her some pretzel bites and she ate that too. Again something she had refused earlier.
And all was well again. But,it left me thinking,what was it that triggered this melt-down. Was it lack of sleep? or was it hunger? Or was she feeling hot?Or was she hungry and hot and didn’t understand what was going on?

Meltdowns are a part of growing up..but they are hard to deal with.I find myself tired and sapped of energy at the end of each big meltdown..really.When she was thrashing and pushing me away,I tried to be cool,but a teeny tiny bit of my heart,did wonder if something had happened that made her hate me suddenly.The books,the countless websites and the pediatricians tell us,to put the angry child in a safe place and go on with your business..That’s only possible at home.Surely,you can’t leave you crying child in the middle of a busy shopping mall and continue window shopping. Then,I also read,somewhere that if you are outside,then,take the child to a quiet corner and be with her,for as long as she is upset.Then,when she calms down,hug her and tell her,that you understand why she was upset.
I tried that,I took her to a calm place.. but for me to act calmly and find the calm place or the right place didn’t happen instantly.It took a lot of experimentation.And finally,why did she eat and drink the same things that I had offered her earlier..but in the new place..was it because she was tired of the strangers milling around in the mall..Why?

Whoever said-“Parenting means constant learning,” wasn’t kidding.
What is your take on this?How would you have reacted if your toddler behaved like this and you felt lost and didn’t know what to do with him/her?Please take a minute and tell me 🙂

parenting

Dont just smile-Say Something

June 20, 2007 MysTri Mum11 Comments

I just read this post by Kiran

and it reminded me this family. I had refrained from writing about this because I didn’t have any child rearing experience. Not that I have a lot now.. but..anyway…
So, we met this family when we moved here.They invited us over for tea once. They have 2 kids- the older one -almost 4 and the younger one 6 months(at that time).We both love kids,I was pregnant…so were more than happy to accept their invitation.We spent over an hour looking for age-appropriate gifts , bought a cake for the hosts and were on our way.
When we knocked on the door,we were greeted with a loud war-like cry.DH told me it was the kiddo(Lemme just call him Kiddo).The Dad opened the door and there is the kiddo running around in the living room,throwing around some blocks as he does that…The Dad tells us, he is just excited because we have company. We think -Oh cute.

We gave them the gifts.. kiddo grabs his gift and excited tears open the packaging and starts to look at the toys ( we gave him a beach bucket with all the accessories for castle building and bubble making) .Excitement over, he starts to throw everything .. at the wall, at us..at his parents and even at his younger brother. and we are there dodging the flying blocks. I looked at DH..was this the wrong choice of gift? But it said ages=3+. Well, we’ll know when our munchkin is 3+ and we get that gift for her.

Next,he grabs his brothers gift ( a musical turtle)and starts to bang it on the floor. All the while parents are just watching, smiling.Neither one attempted to stop him.We just smiled.When bored with all the banging..he decided it was time for kickboxing practice. Kickboxing and running.He starts to run around the living room again, kicking all the chairs and their occupants.And his favorite spot to hit was the belly.I spent the rest of the hour shielding my belly.as we got up to leave, he got mad as to why we were leaving and started with first punching his dad in the belly, and then DH .It was then that the mom belatedly realised that I was pregnant.. and scooped him up to stop him. I kept cribbing to DH all through our drive home.He shushed me up saying”Its their kid, surely they know how to handle him .May be if there was a kid his age, he would behave differently”.So, I kept quiet. We met them again on a couple of occasions and it was the same.Even when there were kids his age,it was still the same.He would then channelise his energy into beating them. And the parents still didn’t try to stop him,even if he was wreaking a havoc in another person’s home or hitting another child.

The last time we saw them was while I was still at the hospital,after Aadya’s birth. We knew of their arrival, from the loud shouts and banging on the door. The nurse had to come and stop him, while the parents just smiled and said..”Oh he is so mischievous.” Once they were the in the room,all hell broke loose. He tried to take a look at the baby,started shaking the crib and almost toppled Aadya out of the crib,DH steadied the crib just in time.Again the parents did nothing to stop him all they had to say was-“Ohh he loves to look at babies”.Screamed in Aadya’s ear to wake her up..I asked DH to just take her back to the nursery.I didn’t want my baby to end up with a broken ear drum or worse. Baby out of the way, he started to focus on other stuff..”OHHH Camera..”he starts to throw it in the air…I yelled at DH( poor guy) to “take the camera away from the KID!!”All the parents had to say was- oh, he is not allowed to touch our camera so he is excited to see yours. Yeah Sure! Next he took the lid off of my dinner plate. DH put it back,he took it off again.This time DH told him No! and off he went to explore other interesting things in the room.He found the nurses call buttons near the door. And started pressing them,turning the lights in the room on and off.The mother is still sitting, talking..Father is outside holding their baby. I told the mom to ask him to stop …and that’s when she disinterestedly tells him..No kiddo don’t. and continues chatting.He doesnt stop,I point out to her again, he is playing with the buttons again,then she finally gets up.By then kiddo has spotted the crackers on my bedside table and wants them.I offered him some.And what does he do- opens the packets one by one and drops the crackers on the floor and crushes them with his shoes.All the mom has to say is..”Oh ,the hospital staff comes to clean the room everyday ,right!” I am like WTH!!!But even before I can answer her,Kiddo has toppled over the water pitcher,on the bed. That’s it..I had had enough.I just told her-“I think Kiddo is not comfortable right now,why don’t you guys go now.. and come back some other time.” She mumbled something about him being tired..and said goodbye.Needless to say, we haven’t heard from them after that.

I dont blame the kid in this whole thing and nor am I being judgemental.Kids will always be kids and its their business to be naughty .But at the same time,its our job as parents to check them when they are wrong,reprimand them for bad behavior and if need be even smack them on the butt! I know after reading this post DH and so many others are going to say”How can you say all this,when you are not in their situation?” No,i am not in their situation, and I cannot change their situation but I can surely do something about it ,where my baby is concerned. And thats what I intend to do.Even now when we go out to eat with others,if Aadya gets fussy,one of us gets up and paces outside with her..so that atleast the others can enjoy their meal peacefully.If its just us and she is very fussy, we just ask for boxes and pack up the rest of our meal. If she is acting stubborn and just screaming (read throwing a tantrum) to be picked up,I pick her up, try to catch her eye and talk to her.. that does seem to distract her and make her forget why she was crying in the first place and then happily put her back on her play mat or wherever she was. Does she really understands what mommy is telling her?I don’t know. Has the angry screaming reduced?Yes!

Will I be able to do a good job in mommying her?I dont know..But what I do know is if she is going to act up when she grows up,she is surely going to be put in her place.If she is being mean to other kids,she is going to get a big speech from Mamma and Papa and if need be even a smack on the butt.I am not going to just stand there and smile and not say anything. How well we do at this? I guess I will have to do a follow up post on that in about..3 years.

Edited to Add:- Before I get bombarded with emails and phone calls from Aadya Fan Club,I just want to assure you all that she gets her share of hugs and cuddles.The “not picking up” is because over the last few weeks ,she has got too clingy and so its just an attempt to break the habit. Because now it has reached a stage when she wants to be held all the time.. even when she is sleeping; the moment I put her down,she stretches and wakes up!

parenting · Tales from Aadyaland

Fighting in front of your kids

June 6, 2007 MysTri Mum6 Comments

When we first started thinking of having babies, there were so many things that we discussed.. how we would raise them, what we would name them,how we would never fight in their presence..Lots of other stuff changed. Our parenting ideas changed.. we would have never imagined 2 years back that we would take such a laid back-at-times-prompt-at-others approach..The names that we thought of the first time we ever spoke about having kids are lost somewhere in between.. but we were still very sure of one thing ..That we would never fight in front of our kids. And we broke that rule today.
DH and I were talking about a sensitive issue and that led to heated exchanges. Aadya was there on our bed.She kept going back and forth with her eyes from DH to me to DH.She would then look at one of us and smile, we would smile back at her, but still continued arguing. The poor baby,I think she sensed the tension and we saw a pout beginning to form, the lower lip beginning to quiver.DH picked her up,I kissed her, she was still whining.. looking at us- one person at a time and whining.. My poor baby, our sweet little angel..we stopped fighting and began consoling her..played with her, made her smile and coo..Such a little person but she understands everything… she is a part of everything!Frankly, before Aadya came along, a fight about this issue would have gone on endlessly.. but not any more.
We made up immediately and I am sure she forgot about it too.. but I am just feeling so so guilty.We promised never to fight when she is around again.I know there will be many more arguments and fights .. but,I hope we can keep her away from the unpleasantness. I couldn’t sleep and so decided to write , so that the next time I am upset and ready to fly off the handle,I hope I have the sense to stop and read this post.
How do you all manage to keep the fights away from your kids and if by chance, they happen to witness a disagreement, how do you deal with it? I would love to hear from you all on this one.

parenting

DH and Aadya

June 6, 2007 MysTri Mum3 Comments

As I was re-reading my post about Aadya’s 2 month update..I realised that in all my excitement,it has turned out to be just a mommy-brag ..So, this one’s for you ,darling hubby.
Aadya is one smart cookie,she already knows who’s on her side.She has DH nicely twirled around her little finger. She just has to pout once and she gets lifted out of the crib.She already knows that the tall one , is the one who will do anything to keep her from crying. She spends all day with me.. but come evening and DH comes home and then she changes loyalties..Then,its like the father-daughter team has to make up for all the time lost. She behaves herself and takes all her naps in her crib but at bedtime when DH is home, she just wont sleep there.The moment we put her in her crib, she start whining..I pat her, whining stops, then starts again.DH comes rushing.. and then starts the crying.. she looks at him with those puppy eyes!!! My GOD!! I think..she already knows how to make her papa dance to her tune! He scoops her out of the crib and she sleeps on our bed..She loves cuddling up with her Papa and sleeping in his arms. She literally turns herself towards him like a sunflower towards the sun and snuggles up closer for warmth. One weekend,I was cooking and they were both playing. By the time I finished cooking, they were both fast asleep..Aadya cuddled up next to her dad, one tiny fist and one chubby thigh resting on his chest . Awww they looked adorable.
DH is such an involved dad..right from the moment Aadya was born. He was the one to watch her when she got her first bath, the one who held her when she got her first shot, the one who changed her first diaper and gave her her first bottle. I am sure the first few hours of her life, Aadya was sure he was her MOM!He was on a conference call, this morning when Aadya got her shot. He felt so bad that he wasn’t there to hold her.as soon as he finished, he came and hugged her!Asked me 10,000 questions about how I held her,did i hold her close enough,if she cried too much, how many shots.. etc etc etc..
He still wakes up with me every night.I have to force him to go back to sleep. The poor guy is on medication now and that makes him so drowsy , but still even the slightest whine from Aadya and he is up.For a guy who hates shopping, he spends hours in baby stores, deciding what to buy and ends up buying everything that he was choosing from!
Its just so wonderful watching him with Aadya..I feel truly blessed to have this beautiful family.Aadya is really lucky to have him as her dad.I know she is going to grow up to be daddy’s girl :),