parenting · Tales from Aadyaland · toilet training

She is but a baby…

…I need to remind myself.

Aadi is getting so advanced in most of the day-to-day things,that its easy to forget,that she is just a little girl,about to turn 3. And no I don’t mean it in the bragging way..I say it in the most matter-of-fact way.She understands our coded talks,she associates people and places,even if she has just met them once..
She started feeding herself,when she turned 10 months old.She was being fussy,when I was feeding her lunch and on her pediatrician’s advice,I started leaving the plate on her high-chair tray and she enjoyed eating on her own.Sometimes,now when she wants us to feed her,we get irritated..but then,realise,she is doing what a normal toddler would..and are grateful for the opportunity to baby her.
The reason for this post is something that happened today.I am trying to toilet-train her.She has been diaper-free for more than 6 months..both during the day and at night.But she still needs the diaper to go potty.I try to put her on the toilet almost every time,she asks for a diaper to go potty.Sometimes,I just give in,without a fight.The fact that she is going to start school once a week,next month..when she is going to be away from me,makes me want to hurry up with the last step of  toilet training.

yesterday again I put her on the toilet and she just had to go..but for some reason,she is scared of going potty in the toilet.She started crying..not the whining,not the tantrum..but real crying like her heart was breaking and she couldn’t help it.I relented and put the diaper on and told her that she could have the diaper,but she had to stay in the bathroom.That brought about a fresh round of tears. But,she stayed in the bathroom and she cried some more,and called me after she finished.

I kept thinking about it..She needs her privacy to do her big  job..she goes to an empty room and stays there till she is done.Or she hides in a corner of the living room,from where she can watch TV.I think it was being confined to a space not of her choice,is what made her upset.May be she likes the fact that she can choose,where to be and whom to keep out..But she likes this bathroom..Its nice and roomy..and when I say Roomy..it is.May be I should post a picture sometime.Anyway,she stayed in the bathroom,yesterday and I think something hit home.

Today,when she wanted to go potty,she asked me to take her to the toilet..on her own.I was surprised but,played cool.She sat on the toilet and tried to do her business.I mean she really tried..and then,looked at me and said,sadly,”I don’t know how to do it..Mommy,I am scared..” It broke my heart…It made me  feel like a parent who had let down her child,by expecting too much,unreasonably.I picked her up,hugged her and told her,I was proud of her,for trying and we could try again,tomorrow. And she was happy.I put the diaper ON and left her in the bathroom.This time she didn’t cry,just asked me,”Why do I have to be in the bathroom?”,with a childish pout,that we have come to associate with her questions. I told her..”Because you go potty in the bathroom..” and she accepted it..”Ok,Mom..”

She stayed in the bathroom and called me when she was finished.Alls well in Aadyaland..atleast till the next time we try toilet-training again..but I had to write this post,to remind myself to be patient ,to not push her before she is ready.

I had to write this post to remind myself that she is just a baby..and thats the way she should be….

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18 thoughts on “She is but a baby…

  1. Awww sometimes we are so harsh on our own children

    hugs to her and kudos to u

    even ojas doesnt change his clothes with room open now… wants to pee in the potty seat with bathroom door closed our little big kids 😉 (he still doesnt do potty there though… sigh)

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    1. Awww hugs back,Mon!
      And yes..our little big kids..:)
      I wonder what is the deal with the potty,though..I think the splashing scares them..dunno..just a thought.

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  2. it is challenging sometimes to keep your cool but we should always remember that no matter how mischievous our kids may be. you can’t blame for they are just acting the way kids should be.

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  3. Just take it slowly. Keep reminding her that “big kids” do it that way. But don’t push so hard. My son was reluctant in the beginning too. I guess they feel that they’ll fall into the pan or something. But then one day, he just said that he wants to do potty in the proper way. They just need the time I think

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    1. Yes,I guess you are right..I am trying to be non-chalant about it…I was really surprised,when she asked to sit on the potty herself! all in good time,I think..After all nobody goes to high school in diapers!!hai na!

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  4. Take it easy Trish. Make the Potty business more intersting – you can have a step stool so that she can climb onto it herself and you can give little rewards if she succeeds in doing the big job in the bathroom. It is all a matter of few days until she overcomes her fear, until then hang on.

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  5. hey, dont fret too much. it will happen soon im sure. did u try the sticker thing or singing rhymes or such other stuff to keep her distracted so she does not feel awkward. maybe the puppets u made could help weave in a story. i am still struggling with the pee bit. she just doesnt tell me before… 😦

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    1. Now I am ok..see thats why I love blogging..I get to share my feelings,feel lighter and get all these amazing feedbacks!
      The sticker and singing..doesnt impress her anymore.Should try about the puppets.
      A question about pee-does she have a diaper on all day?If not,keep her diaper free,and set a timer and take her every 20 mins the first few days.some training books n websites said to take every hour..and she would always go in between.So i started taking her every 20 mins..there were still some accidents..but she got the hang of it soon.hope momo does too!

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  6. I thought I left a comment…have u tried asking her to drop rolled up toilet paper into the bowl? Or a few pieces of cereal? Sometimes, it helps for them to see things fall into the bowl and get over that fear. And of course be patient with her (look who is telling). Have u tried demos with her? Taking her in when u go? Gross as it sounds, it could help. Over time, she will get the hang of it.

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    1. LOL!!!! demos..LOL! yes..when she was younger.dont really wanna encourage dropping things in the bowl!! you nver know what will land there..and she does drop the toilet paper after wiping herself.May be we will run out of diapers..LOL! and then she will do it..Don’t worry i will hide a couple..i am not that evil.

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  7. Oh what a kind mummy!!!

    How is your daughter doing now ?? I hope she managed eventually! I can remember not being able to work out ‘how’ to do a wee or a poo … it was really weird. Like .. well, like mentally trying to move the lamp in the corner with my mind ie .. I didn’t have a clue what to ‘use’ or what to do !! I also … was scared stupid of falling into the toilet ! This was pre child seat days – and was also scared of the rather large metal [cold] potty as it would stick on my bottom when I stood up .. wee going all over the place!! I am 56!

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    1. hi Teal Rose,welcome.
      She is doing fine,thanks..fully trained and all..
      I think-falling into the toilet and being sucked into the drain..is like the highest on the list of toddler fears:)

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