This is not a random picture . It signifies a lot of things –

First, my favourite puppy in the whole wide world cuddling with me, makes me happy. Everyday when I come home from work, this is how we sit, snuggled up next to each other.. content in each Other’s company, until he decides that he needs to show his affection by almost biting off my hand.

Secondly, wearing these pants makes me happier.. It was love at first sight for me with these trousers. I mean what’s not to like – the burst of colours made my Bohemian heart sing with joy and my soul dance like mad. It instantly took me to my happy place. But, I tried them on and they didn’t fit and my heart broke a little. So, I did the next best thing, I bought them for MsA . She seemed excited to buy it but didn’t really wear it. Fast forward to today, they fit me now!!! Yayyy!!

I have to digress here and tell you that I bought these from Anjuna Market in Goa, in Jan 2016 and tried them on behind a thick sheet that the shopkeeper held. The thing about this shopkeeper was that she had never attended school and had taught herself to read and write. Not only that she also spoke English, French and Spanish along with Hindi and Marathi. If that isn’t awesome, I don’t know what is!

And lastly, this photo depicts my state of mind right now – a lazy, relaxed and laid back- it is the long weekend!

Hope you have a nice relaxing weekend 🙂

Xoxo

Trish

 

Even though I am love living in the suburbs, I love love love going to the city. There is something about the fast paced life there, that perks me up instantly.

We had to go to the city for an appointment at lunchtime, the other day and even though we were just in the car, I loved people watching – all those smartly dressed people laughing, talking, rushing through lunch hour.

After the appointment we stopped to have lunch at a small sushi place. SP was talking and I was people watching. He got a little annoyed, about how I was more interested in looking at random strangers than listening to him.  B.U.T. I LOVE people watching and imagining their conversations, their stories.

I watched a beautiful pregnant woman share her meal with a man – husband or partner perhaps and I was so tempted to tell her how beautiful she looked, in her maternal bloom.

I watched a group of young professional come in to pick up Sushi. The men stayed under cover and the girls stuck their hands out in the rain and laughed happily. That made me smile 🙂

We passed a bagel and coffee shop and I had to duck in. A little side story – When I was pregnant with MsA, our neighbour was an old lady, called Angela. She and her sister Sandy, had all but adopted me as their own. The day after they found out that I was pregnant, they came over with half a dozen bagels. I protested – its just the two of us and we  won’t be able to eat all those bagels and they argued and told me to put it in the freezer.  The bagels were so fresh, we finished them in 4 days. The next Sunday, they knocked on the door with more bagels. They catered for their local church and every Sunday, saved a small stack for me.

Obviously, I couldn’t walk past the bagel shop without stopping to grab a bagel.

This is for old times sake and for my beautiful angels Angela and Sandy. I wish there was some way to get in touch with them now. Just thinking about them makes me feel so emotional.

I am so grateful for people like those two and so many others, that helped me, just by being in my life at the time, when I just needed someone to make me smile and feel loved. Someone I love is up in heaven and she is sending these angels my way..

More later,

♥♥
Trish

Dear MsAn,

You turned 6 on the 23rd of July. Mumma is very late in writing this Birthday letter to you. But you see, you and your sister don’t leave me alone, at all. The only time I am alone is when I am at work. But, anyway.. this is not about me, its about you.

My baby girl, you are so clever – you amaze me with your ability to understand and empathise with everyone around you , especially with your sister. You love your sister, truly, madly, deeply and NO! you don’t have to marry her!! Lately, you have been equating love to marriage and I have been explaining to you that you DON’T have to marry everyone you love. I love it that you are so smitten with me – still! When I get annoyed, you tell me, ‘ I am your shadow.’ How can I argue with that cute logic?

At home, you are the hothead, getting upset at the drop of a hat, throwing a tantrum and acting like a spoiled brat. But we are not allowed to call you a spoiled brat, because that ‘hurts your feelings’. Sometimes, when you are mad at your dad or sister you tell me, ‘ No more Daddys/ Aadyas allowed in this house.’ I ask you, what do you mean and you tell me, ‘ We can’t name anyone else Daddy/ Aadya.’ You clever, sneaky munchkin.

Ana, I can’t believe it that you are in school and that you have completed more than half of your first official school year. And you, my cheeky monkey are so different in school. I asked your teacher once, if you were naughty and she told me, that you in fact help other kids stay in line 🙂 You are the responsible one there, not my little baby.

You have an important job at school. You told us that you are the only that Ms B trusts to answer the phone. You take your job so seriously too. You take your academic goals seriously and work so hard on them. You love dancing and kept asking us to sign you up for the dance classes at school.This is really new for us – watching you blossom into a little person, that has her own likes and dislikes, independent of her sister or family. You and MsA couldn’t be any more different. She is the shy one, you, on the other hand, want to be in the limelight and be the star of the show.

You love – helping mumma cook, watching papa play his  game, training and playing with Mowgli and generally following your big sister around. Your favourite job is making salad. I only wish you’d eat some. You are so funny. If you don’t want to eat something, you claim to be allergic to it or that you are not allowed to eat it. When we ask you,’ who said that you are not allowed?’ You tell us, ‘ I did!’ Yes, you set your own rules.

There is so much more that I want to say, but nothing describes you as these words that I wrote for you on your birthday :

And just like that our little baby turned 6! What can I say about my Nanya.. she is crazy – she comes up with the most bizarre ideas and when I ask her why, she tells me her mind told her to do it!
She is as wild as her wild curls – untamed, a free spirit,and a brave one too. She has a big hot head and the largest most caring heart. She smothers us with kisses and doesn’t stop hugging, even hugs strangers!
I think she is a little wonder – a manager, an event manager, life planner, director and an actor, all rolled in one.
She may not be perfect, but for us, she is the perfect little, most important piece that we needed to complete our family! Happy Birthday, birthday girl!We Love you!

❤️❤️

Mumma

If you are a parent/ carer that does school drop offs, you must have seen the frazzled mum at school drop-offs – you know the one that’s running around like a mad chicken, dragging her child behind her.  Since MsAn started school, I am that mum!

It doesn’t matter what time I wake up or how much I organize everything the previous night OR how early I wake her up, I am always running  from the car park to her classroom – Her school bag on my left shoulder, her little hand holding my right hand and her chatting nineteen to a dozen.

We greet other parents we pass on our way, with a cheery  ‘Morning and she continues her chatter, without missing a beat. Then the other day, out of the blue, she started nagging me that I let her walk alone to her classroom, because she is a big kid. I said No. She tried again, the next day, and the day after. I, finally relented on the 4th day, but I told her that I would watch her go. She was so happy!

She put her backpack on her little shoulders, and kissed me goodbye, and started walking. I followed her  and she kept turning around to tell me, ” You can go now, I am a big kid.” And I kept repeating, ” Yes, I know, I am just watching”.  As I stood there watching her walk away, fondly, my eyes smarting from the tears, a mum passing by, smiled at me and asked, ” Is that your little girl?” I nodded. “She is so cute, she is greeting all the people she passes, with a Cheery ‘Morning !!”  I had to laugh. That’s my girl!

As frustrating as it is to walk sprint to her classroom each day, as I watched her walk away alone, a little voice in my heart told me that I am not ready to let go. I wonder if I will ever be ready to let go. You can only imagine, how excited I was the next day, when she asked me to walk her to her class.

Every now and again, I let her walk alone while I watch from my vantage spot but I am planning to hang on to the Frazzled mum look for as long as I can :p

 

My mind is full of all these random thoughts.. I need them to spill out and turn into words. But when I try to type, my mind draws a blank.

Last Sunday I went to drop MsA for drama rehearsals at school . I saw a few older kids sitting outside the school, cross-legged on the floor. Instinctively, the Mumma Bear in me reared her head up and asked her, who they were, if she knew them and if I should wait with her in the car.

Almost as if on cue, every single one of them turned to look at us. I spotted two teachers sitting cross-legged with the kids. MsA, said to me, ‘ yes, Mumma! I know them. They are from the show. Can you just go now?’ At that moment, I realized that my baby had grown up and she might even be embarrassed about being seen with her mum.

I asked her later and she said, ‘ yes!  because they were all watching us. And we must have looked so crazy, you with a confused look on your face and me, making weird hand gestures telling you to go.’ And then we had big laugh about the whole thing.

As she is getting older, our relationship is changing.. some days we are BFFs, other days, she seems to get out of bed only to argue with me and annoy the crap out of me. She gets angry saying that I ‘baby’ MsAn a lot and that its not fair; I tell her I did the same with her and that’s probably why she can freely tell me how she feels. And she agrees begrudgingly. She is my style consultant and the first one to compliment me, on the way I dress up, my hair, and weight loss 🙂 She is also the first one to tell me when my outfits are not so cool.

The thing is that despite the fact that we argue (and BOY! can she argue…. she has to always have the last word! ALWAYS) and don’t always agree, we are still very close. And more importantly, the lines of communication are always open. I am the first one she comes to whether she is happy or upset. Just the other day, she was upset about MsAn getting to spend more time with me. Ms An and I were at Basketball training, she messaged me on Hangouts and expressed very clearly how angry she was. We came up with a plan as to how we ( she and I) can spend more time together.You see Ms.An is my shadow.She does not leave me alone, when we are together. So we had to come up with a plan. Hopefully it works.

Recently,MsA found herself in a very uncomfortable and confronting position and she called the wrong doer on it and stood her grounds, bravely, despite them being older than her. I couldn’t have been prouder of her, if I tried. While I give her full credit for standing up against wrong and telling me right away, I am slowly coming to understand that some credit is due my way too.  I am proud of my relationship with her and that I have kept the communication channels open. I couldn’t stress more about talking to your kids about anything and everything and giving them the confidence that they can come to you with anything and you will not judge them. My heart broke into a million pieces, when she told me, “Thank you for believing me, Mumma’.  At her age, or for that matter at any age, your parents’  approval matters so much and I am glad, I didn’t let her down.

Please know that I know that I am not a perfect mum.. God knows, I am far from being perfect. But I am trying my best and that incident proved to me that I must be doing something right to be able to raise a beautiful, smart, confident and resilient daughter. I love her self-righteousness and courage for going against the crowd, even if it means,standing alone.  I hope that only grows, as she does..

Have a great weekend, Y’all.

♥

Trish