My mind is full of all these random thoughts.. I need them to spill out and turn into words. But when I try to type, my mind draws a blank.
Last Sunday I went to drop MsA for drama rehearsals at school . I saw a few older kids sitting outside the school, cross-legged on the floor. Instinctively, the Mumma Bear in me reared her head up and asked her, who they were, if she knew them and if I should wait with her in the car.
Almost as if on cue, every single one of them turned to look at us. I spotted two teachers sitting cross-legged with the kids. MsA, said to me, ‘ yes, Mumma! I know them. They are from the show. Can you just go now?’ At that moment, I realized that my baby had grown up and she might even be embarrassed about being seen with her mum.
I asked her later and she said, ‘ yes! because they were all watching us. And we must have looked so crazy, you with a confused look on your face and me, making weird hand gestures telling you to go.’ And then we had big laugh about the whole thing.
As she is getting older, our relationship is changing.. some days we are BFFs, other days, she seems to get out of bed only to argue with me and annoy the crap out of me. She gets angry saying that I ‘baby’ MsAn a lot and that its not fair; I tell her I did the same with her and that’s probably why she can freely tell me how she feels. And she agrees begrudgingly. She is my style consultant and the first one to compliment me, on the way I dress up, my hair, and weight loss 🙂 She is also the first one to tell me when my outfits are not so cool.
The thing is that despite the fact that we argue (and BOY! can she argue…. she has to always have the last word! ALWAYS) and don’t always agree, we are still very close. And more importantly, the lines of communication are always open. I am the first one she comes to whether she is happy or upset. Just the other day, she was upset about MsAn getting to spend more time with me. Ms An and I were at Basketball training, she messaged me on Hangouts and expressed very clearly how angry she was. We came up with a plan as to how we ( she and I) can spend more time together.You see Ms.An is my shadow.She does not leave me alone, when we are together. So we had to come up with a plan. Hopefully it works.
Recently,MsA found herself in a very uncomfortable and confronting position and she called the wrong doer on it and stood her grounds, bravely, despite them being older than her. I couldn’t have been prouder of her, if I tried. While I give her full credit for standing up against wrong and telling me right away, I am slowly coming to understand that some credit is due my way too. I am proud of my relationship with her and that I have kept the communication channels open. I couldn’t stress more about talking to your kids about anything and everything and giving them the confidence that they can come to you with anything and you will not judge them. My heart broke into a million pieces, when she told me, “Thank you for believing me, Mumma’. At her age, or for that matter at any age, your parents’ approval matters so much and I am glad, I didn’t let her down.
Please know that I know that I am not a perfect mum.. God knows, I am far from being perfect. But I am trying my best and that incident proved to me that I must be doing something right to be able to raise a beautiful, smart, confident and resilient daughter. I love her self-righteousness and courage for going against the crowd, even if it means,standing alone. I hope that only grows, as she does..
Have a great weekend, Y’all.