Ms.An is my energizer bunny. She is my loud-voiced super-excited child. SP and I joke that she doesn’t come with a lower volume mode. The highlight of her life at the moment is ‘going to the toilet’. Yes, you read that right. Well, she has just recently been toilet trained and I showered her with lots and lots of praise, to keep encouraging her to use the toilet.
So, now, anyone that she catches going to the toilet, receives the same praise! She follows Ms.A in to the toilet (the sisters have no concept of privacy and have absolutely no qualms about following each other in the toilet) and cheers her on..” WOW!! A, you going to the toilet!! Mumma is going to be so happy with you” then she yells out to me.. “Mumma, you are so proud of A, she went to the toilet!” She caught SP, coming out of the toilet the other day and congratulated him on his effort, in her loudest voice and her eyes brimming with love – “Well done, Papa!! Mumma is so proud of you!” And then to me, ” Aren’t you, Mumma? ” I replied,” Yes, baby, I am!” The look that SP gave us, questioned my sanity, but I chose to ignore it, for its not every day, a mum gets called ” Goodgirl Mumma” for going to the toilet!!
Gosh! Love my noisy girl, so much!

different things for MsA & MsAn! For one it was spotting a rainbow on the sidewalk, while we were walking around the shops. She made me stop and take a photo.  I love it how she notices little things like me 😊

For the other, it was getting this Batman donut in her hot little hands. Yes, she is still obsessed with super heroes 😊

   

2015 seems to be flying! I can’t believe we are already in June. One of my goals for this year was to blog regularly and bring back daily posts, so  I am attempting to post every single day of June, 2015.And to make it easier for myself, I am scheduling this and the next few posts. Scheduling posts is something new for me, because I am more of a spontaneous blogger, but I guess, I’ll give this a go and see whatever works 🙂

For the first post, I want to share a photo of one of the beautiful sunrises that greet me every morning. It’s been 7 months since we moved to our new home. My bed looks out to East and I look forward to looking out the window, when I wake up. I’ll stop talking and let you feast your eyes 😊 

 

  

The pattern is available on Ravelry as a free download.
It works up very quickly, all up it took me 4 days. Can’t wait to use this now.

My stash of homemade Garam Masala- I was on the phone the other day whinging to dad that my stash is running out..So he sent a fresh batch out 😊 

Isn’t he  the best? 

 

I am talking about Ms.An. YES! She is officially Nappy/diaper-free, now!! And we are very excited about it. Toilet-training was slow this time around, for various reason, but the biggest being her lactose-intolerance. The age at which I started toilet-training Ms.A, was the same age,when we were just discovering and coming to terms with Ms.An’s lactose-intolerance.
We finally got over that and got down to the business of toilet training and failed 3 times, may be because
1) she wasn’t ready.
2) I wasn’t committed enough.
3) Too many distractions read the father, the sister, the grandparents, the TV and the iPad.
4) She is head-strong and I am a pushover.

In the mean-time, she was moved to the pre-kinder room at her childcare and was doing the right things there for her teachers. I think being part of a group, helped her.
Anyway, two weeks back, she got sick and I stayed home with her, just me and her and I tried it again. This time, I made it our little secret- Mumma & Nanya’s little secret and she loved it. Also, she is going through a mum-crazed phase and wants me to happy, so the timing was just perfect. We had two accidents on the first day, another one on the second day and that was all. But, two days later, the tummy bug came back. We gave it a break and tried again when she got better. This time, I got braver and we went to the shops and we made it back home, without any accidents. Its been over a week since we used any nappies and she is mighty proud of herself, as are we!
I leave you with a pic of my big girl, taken at a party this weekend, her first ever nappy-free social outing 🙂

Its been a while since I did one of these updates. I started writing this post, a couple of weeks back but just didn’t get around to finishing it. I have LOST a whopping 11 kgs in the last year, since April 28th,2014 to be precise.
No fad diets- just good old calorie counting. Its a bit tedious to start with but MFP rocks. And I have added some exercise, 2-3 times a week. Some weeks I can get to the gym on a 4th day too and on other weeks, I can barely fit in 1, but living in a house with stairs has its own advantages..so some extra trips up and down those stairs, help.
In the past, I always had a mission-a mission to lose X number of kilos by this date or 2 dress sizes by that date, and if that didn’t happen, it was enough for me to get disappointed and fall off the wagon.
In the past, I tried extreme diets- elimination diets- going off sugar, carbs and what-nots and then I would binge, like there was no tomorrow.
But, as I am getting older, I am getting wiser( or so I like to think!) I have come to realise that elimination or extreme dieting is not for me. Another reason why calorie counting works for me. If I want to really eat something, I can then adjust the rest of my calories, around it. And if I really, really want to eat something, I just eat it and work the rest of the day around it. It stops me from bingeing at the end of the day. Fortunately, the cravings are very rare. I can sit there, looking at a box of chocolate and not reach for it. Its all in the mind I guess( and I hope I haven’t jinxed it now!!!)
This time, I started with no goal in mind.. actually that’s wrong. I did have a goal and that goal was to get fit! But I didn’t have a deadline or goal weight- my only aim was to lose weight and lose weight for good. I reached the 10 kg mark, a week or 10 days before the 1 year anniversary of weight-loss(Thank you MFP for reminding me ) and decided to push more and ended up with 11 kgs loss.
I still have a long way to go till I reach my happiest number on the scale but that doesn’t take away from this milestone.
For my next goal, I have a set number. I am aiming to lose 7 kgs by Ms.An’s birthday. Losing the next 7 kgs will take me to my happy weight. I call it my happy weight, because it’s the lowest number I reached post-babies(both of them!)
This morning I told SP about my next magic number, 7 and he reminded me that every time I lose weight or get aggressive with my weight-loss mission, I face a setback and E.V.E.R.Y single time it is an Asthma attack.And you know what? He is right! What started as a sinus headache two days back has turned into a full blown wheeze now. My doctor had mentioned Exercise-induced asthma at one stage too..so I don’t know if its that. Anyway, I am sipping lots of hot-water, OD-ing on flu-meds and taking my preventer on time and generally staying warm and resting.
The other thing that I am hoping will help is working out in a warm gym as opposed to working out in the open, which I absolutely love. But, as I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, that the biggest change for me this time has been accepting my limitations and working around it. I would’ve loved to lose 10 kgs in 3 months, B.U.T I don’t know think its possible realistically with my hormonal issues, time-limitations and busy life( life with two little kids is busy :D).
I’ll update here when I get to my next milestone 🙂
I’ll be back with updates about Ms.An, who has reached a milestone of her own in the last week.. Soon.. for now the bed beckons.
Love,
T

This year, Mother’s Day was going to be just another day. SP was away and I had my day planned out..Ms.A’s class at 9 am, followed by housework, a bit of cooking etc.
SP has always made me feel special on Mother’s Day. The first year, he actually spoiled me for Mother’s Day was the year before Ms.A was born. We weren’t even expecting then, but he knew how much I wanted a baby – a baby girl 🙂 And so that year on Mother’s Day, he came home with a potted plant and a beautiful purple metal butterfly, because I always said that butterflies, reminded me of my mom and that they gave me hope. Sure enough, later that year, I fell pregnant.
Every year after that, he has done something special for me. He is not the breakfast-in-bed kind of a guy.. but he more than makes up for it by making sure, I don’t cook or clean on that day- that day and on my birthday 😀

When Ms.A started school, she came home with the idea of cooking breakfast for me. SP freaked out because you see, cooking is not his forte’. Still they refused to let me get out of bed and served me breakfast in bed-toast that was smeared with copious amounts of butter and my favourite tea and orange juice. When I grimaced looking at the butter, he tactfully got more slices of bread and evenly split the blob of butter on the other slices 🙂
But this year he was away for his course. The girls were missing him and I wasn’t the most popular mother, because I had refused to take them out for dinner the previous night, so I wasn’t expecting anything special.

I woke up and checked Facebook on my phone. My timeline was flooded with pictures of my friends with their mothers and immediately, I was filled with sadness.. sadness, because I don’t have a single photo of my mom and me, here. I can’t even remember the last photo that we clicked together. When I was growing up, photos were clicked only on rare special occasions. May be that’s why I click so many photos of my babies, almost every day..to capture all the special everyday moments. May be that’s why I have put myself back in the photos with them, so they don’t regret it one day, like I do. All these thoughts were racing in my mind, when two little hands wrapped themselves around my neck and pulled me close- Ms.An wanted morning snuggles. Just as we were getting comfortable, Ms.A walked in carrying a tray bearing this:

She doesn’t know how to make tea, but tried her very best, just like her darling father 🙂
She set the tray down on my bedside table and handed me her presents- A snowglobe that says – “I love you,Mum” and a pen that says ” Mum’s pen” but the most precious presents were these two notes: A hand made card and a hand written certificate

I read the notes and all those tears that were threatening to spill out of my eyes, finally did. I hugged Ms.A close and listened to hear chat about how she picked my presents out of all the presents that were for sale at the Mother’s Day stall in school. Somehow Ms.An edged in between us, as she always does, but they were happy to stay like that for a long time. As for me, well..I was filled with this overwhelming amount of love, that always engulfs me when I am hugging them both and the feeling doesn’t get old, no matter how often I do it.I think I am so blessed to be able to hold them and love them like this. I feel so privileged that they call me ‘mumma’.

I am not perfect. I second guess almost every decision that I make- Am I being to stern or too lenient? Should I let them eat this or that? Should I let her go outside without a jacket, to spare the tears or should I stand my ground, make her wear it, even if it means, there will be a meltdown? Did I do the right thing in changing her school? Do you let her tough it out or help her find the easy way? The list goes on and on..

I recently read on Drama Mama (I swear she is sheer genius and
I absolutely L.O.V.E her posts!) something along the lines of ” Stop aiming for perfection and may be then you will appreciate how good you are ” and I thought, “Perfect! This will be my motto from now on”. But there is a major problem with that. I can’t stop at being just good, especially where my babies are concerned. You know why? Its because there is someone who is constantly judging me, judging my choices..That someone is ME! Yes, I am my worst critic.
So, I can’t settle for being good. And so I keep trying- trying my best to be perfect, because I don’t want to rue, ever, in life that I didn’t try enough. I keep going back for that last hug, even after the 3 yo pushes me away and throws another ‘hate you’ or ‘ don’t want you, want papa’ in my face, for what if that’s the hug that she returns? I keep dishing out the next meal, day after day, even after they reject the last 10, for what if that is the one that they end up loving? I keep explaining again and again, asking the 8 yo to tone down her attitude, frustrating as it is, but what if that is THE time that she actually pays heed? And you know what? THat one time is worth it. May be I am too soft..may be I am pushover and they know it. And I would be lying if I said they don’t push my buttons..they do..Oh MY GOD! They do! But then, they make up for it with all the love they shower me with, with all the happy moments I am privileged to share with them.

I love it how Ms.A, 8 years old, still believes that I have magic powers. She used to hate Wednesdays because they have sports at school on that day. So, every Wednesday, she tried to get out of school. One morning I told her that I was giving her special running powers that would make her run super-fast! And she believed it. She went to school with a spring in her step and later in the day told me how my powers worked. I love watching her face, when I can read her mind.. the joy and delight in her eyes..wow! It blows my mind away.

I love it how Ms.An, almost 4 years old, still follows me around. When I am cooking or trying to study, she drags a chair next to me and offers to help. When I am cleaning, she asks me to stop and relax. I love it, how I get kisses and cuddles, every time I put her in and take her out of her car-seat! EVERY SINGLE TIME!
I love it how eager, she is to make me happy. I love it how she knows when I am sad, and give me extra long cuddles.

Yes, it is exhausting and testing and I often complain how I have no brain-space left, but I wouldn’t have it any other way, because they make me happy!My babies make me happy! Happiness is being a mother to them…

Oh! And as for the Mother’s Day that was- SP came back home that night and took us out for a lovely dinner. He had been away for 3 days and so the girls couldn’t get enough of him and watching them like that, was the perfect end to my day. 🙂

xx
Trish

..she lets them watch iPad in her bed..don’t think they are complaining 😀
  

So, last Friday was what I would call a dark day in the history of Ms.An’s daycare life. We had the worst drop-off ever. Ms.An rolled on the floor, kicked and screamed, refused to let go of me and just screamed and and screamed more. I tried talking to her, tried reasoning with her and even told her that if she didn’t stop,I would get angry. Nothing and I mean NOTHING worked. Finally, one of the carers in her room pried her off me and took her away, where she continued to scream even more.
I signed her off and stepped out of the room, blinking back tears. I stopped to talk to the Ms.G, who’s the second in command and mans the reception..Wrong move! I couldn’t finish my sentence before dissolving in a mess of tears. Ms.G could hear Ms.An’s screams,she ushered me into the waiting room and rushed inside to help calm Ms.An. She came back, after what seemed like an eternity. The screaming had stopped by then and I had finished crying too. I really appreciate Ms.G taking that time to talk to me. We decided to book her in for one extra day.
I came out,called SP from the car and cried some more. Then I came home, chatted with Mrs.R ,poured my heart out to her and cried some more. I just couldn’t make sense of Ms.An’s meltdown.I spoke to a couple of friends..it was like I just wanted someone to make sense of it for me. Anyway, at some stage, I picked up the pieces of my broken heart and got dressed for work. First time ever, I found myself smiling mechanically when talking to others and I felt so fake doing it.
Fast forward to 4 pm, Ms.A and I went to pick up Ms.An and she threw an even bigger tantrum than the one in the morning. She expected her dad to pick her up and didn’t want me. She refused to go home with me. It took two staff members to calm her down. I had to leave the room, because I couldn’t bear her crying anymore. I called SP and got him to talk to her and finally she came out with Ms.K and clung to me, still asking for her daddy. We came home, totally exhausted- she from all that crying, me from all that heartbreak. I remember standing outside her room and thinking at one point, what did I do wrong..but its over now. So we cuddled and kissed and talked about why she cried and she said,”But..I miss you and I want you and daddy and A” What can you say to that?
Well, I promised her a treat in her favourite coffee shop and a present. So, we talked about it all of Saturday and all of Sunday and then this morning, I reminded her again that we could go to the coffee shop if she didn’t cry. And that we’d go for a picnic on the weekend.
I let her take a few things that she likes,specially her little torchlight and dominoes. As we were driving into the daycare center parking,she remembered the incident from Friday and said to me in a very soft voice,”I cried so much and my teacher called Daddy” I told her that yes it was a bad day but today will be fun and she smiled.
We walked in her room, she stood close to me till she spotted her ‘best friend R’ and then she ran off to show him her torchlight. She said good bye to me happily…hopefully pickup will be fine and she won’t expect it to be the weekend straight away!
Oh! And Ms.A told her Daddy can only do drop-offs n pick-ups when Mummy is sick, so as I was leaving, she asked me, if I could be sick today. LOL! I am feeling so loved 😀
More soon
xoxo
T