Daycare, heart break and hope.

So, last Friday was what I would call a dark day in the history of Ms.An’s daycare life. We had the worst drop-off ever. Ms.An rolled on the floor, kicked and screamed, refused to let go of me and just screamed and and screamed more. I tried talking to her, tried reasoning with her and even told her that if she didn’t stop,I would get angry. Nothing and I mean NOTHING worked. Finally, one of the carers in her room pried her off me and took her away, where she continued to scream even more.
I signed her off and stepped out of the room, blinking back tears. I stopped to talk to the Ms.G, who’s the second in command and mans the reception..Wrong move! I couldn’t finish my sentence before dissolving in a mess of tears. Ms.G could hear Ms.An’s screams,she ushered me into the waiting room and rushed inside to help calm Ms.An. She came back, after what seemed like an eternity. The screaming had stopped by then and I had finished crying too. I really appreciate Ms.G taking that time to talk to me. We decided to book her in for one extra day.
I came out,called SP from the car and cried some more. Then I came home, chatted with Mrs.R ,poured my heart out to her and cried some more. I just couldn’t make sense of Ms.An’s meltdown.I spoke to a couple of friends..it was like I just wanted someone to make sense of it for me. Anyway, at some stage, I picked up the pieces of my broken heart and got dressed for work. First time ever, I found myself smiling mechanically when talking to others and I felt so fake doing it.
Fast forward to 4 pm, Ms.A and I went to pick up Ms.An and she threw an even bigger tantrum than the one in the morning. She expected her dad to pick her up and didn’t want me. She refused to go home with me. It took two staff members to calm her down. I had to leave the room, because I couldn’t bear her crying anymore. I called SP and got him to talk to her and finally she came out with Ms.K and clung to me, still asking for her daddy. We came home, totally exhausted- she from all that crying, me from all that heartbreak. I remember standing outside her room and thinking at one point, what did I do wrong..but its over now. So we cuddled and kissed and talked about why she cried and she said,”But..I miss you and I want you and daddy and A” What can you say to that?
Well, I promised her a treat in her favourite coffee shop and a present. So, we talked about it all of Saturday and all of Sunday and then this morning, I reminded her again that we could go to the coffee shop if she didn’t cry. And that we’d go for a picnic on the weekend.
I let her take a few things that she likes,specially her little torchlight and dominoes. As we were driving into the daycare center parking,she remembered the incident from Friday and said to me in a very soft voice,”I cried so much and my teacher called Daddy” I told her that yes it was a bad day but today will be fun and she smiled.
We walked in her room, she stood close to me till she spotted her ‘best friend R’ and then she ran off to show him her torchlight. She said good bye to me happily…hopefully pickup will be fine and she won’t expect it to be the weekend straight away!
Oh! And Ms.A told her Daddy can only do drop-offs n pick-ups when Mummy is sick, so as I was leaving, she asked me, if I could be sick today. LOL! I am feeling so loved 😀
More soon
xoxo
T