Hi everyone,

How are you holding up? How are you adjusting to the ‘New Normal’ ? It’s strange, isn’t it? Who would’ve thought 3- 4 months back that things would get so out of hand ? I keep asking myself the same thing again and again.

Our little household is doing ok – actually we are doing pretty alright – we have a home to stay safe in. SP & I are working from home & the girls have been homeschooling after the Easter break. Their school holidays were brought forward by a week and we had made the decision to keep them home since the week before. So, we have been at home for the last 8 weeks, going out only for solitary walks or essential shopping every two weeks , sometime every 3 or 4 weeks.

Mr Mowgli is loving the extra attention and long walks. Although I have to say, that when we first started staying home, he seemed a little confused.. like he didn’t know what was going on. First few days he was happy, then he started acting nervous, whether he was picking up on our anxiety or reacting to the changed conditions, I’ll never know. Although when we went to the vets for his yearly checkup & shots, the vet told us that a lot of dogs were feeling anxious at the moment.

He has calmed down now & looks forward to his walks. He knows that we finish work around 4:30-5:00 and he starts pacing around us, as if reminding us that it’s time for a walk.

I asked Ms An what her most favourite part of the isolation was and she said spending more time with Mowgli- they are literally inseparable. Her least favourite part of isolation is being separated from her class and teacher and understandably so. MsA’s coping mechanism is watching Harry Potter movies over and over again, night after night over the holidays and now that school’s on , over the weekends. That and FaceTime with her friends . I swear, it’s almost like we have another teen living in our house. Sometimes I join in their conversations 😀 other times they roll their eyes at me . Whatever work, yeah?

SP copes by playing his games on the iPad and talking to friends and me ? I cook – cooking is my stress buster or and have Zoom calls with my friends every now and again. All we have to do is get through each day, One day at a time and before we know it, this will be over.. maybe we will go back to what it was, may be this new normal will be the normal. Who knows? We just have to wait and watch.

More later,

❤️ Trish

999 pieces 😀 I completed this 1000 piece puzzle but managed to lose one piece 😥 but that’s ok.

I think this puzzle is much like our lives right now.. we have everything, yet something is missing.

We are safe in our homes, with our little families, but miss our extended families. I love staying home but miss the rush of going out; I miss people – my friends, coworkers, other familiar faces.

I also miss emotionally blackmailing my dad to come visit me because it’s been so long since his last visit – I don’t know when he will be able to visit next 🙁 Yes, this is a sooky post & I am going to share it – because – it’s ok to not be ok.

I miss the conversations – you know the ones you have with the barista while you wait for your coffee or the checkout staff while you pay for your groceries, the quick chat with a friend in aisle 6 of the supermarket or dropping in at a friend’s after a crappy day and asking that she make chai .. that’s what I miss..

This week has been a hard one – both with work and homeschooling. I have to say that the kids’ school is fantastic and have made the whole remote learning so much easier for us,but still as a parent, you can’t not feel the pressure.

I feel like I am currently trying to balance three jobs – my own full-time job-currently working from home, homeschooling MsAn ( keeping up with her timetable, coaxing her give things a go, coming up with fun things to keep her engaged) & housekeeping . When I was working out of home & came home after a 10 hour day , the things on my agenda were after school activities, dinner, homework, quick tidy up & bed. Oh! And I used to cook only once each day, at night – enough food for dinner & leftovers for lunch.

Now with work from home, we are eating all three meals at home – cooking three times , even if it’s 2 minute noodles or fried eggs for some meals. The house and the laundry keeps staring at me, as if accusing me of not doing enough.

This constant pressure, this mental load was starting to bog me down. It felt like I had an elastic band around my head that was getting tighter and tighter. So, I decided to give myself a break today. My company has recently started the concept of well-being leave ( 3 days in a year for your wellbeing) . Today I used one of my well-being days. I slept in, woke the kids up for their classes, still had to remind MsAn about her classes, but if she didn’t want to do anything, I asked her to give it a go once & left it at that.

She had to do an exercise video & she refused to do it as it’s not fun for her. I didn’t push it, but she asked me if we could go for a walk instead. So, that’s what we did. We went for a long walk- exploring our neighbourhood, admiring flowers in the front yards, talking about life, skip counting and discovering that all the house numbers on one side of the street are odd numbers and on the other side are even numbers! She didn’t complain even once and before we knew it 40 minutes had passed.

The week has ended and hopefully the next week will be kinder to us .. but to everyone out there, hang in there.. this too shall pass.. I started writing this post feeling so sad and miserable, but I am feeling a little bit better after writing here. I hope reading this helps you feel a little better too, because, we are in this together!!

Thanks for reading !

❤️ Trish

I received this message today and it instantly raised my happiness quotient to 100% .

My Nanya, I have always said she has such a caring, giving soul – she really is . And I am not saying this just because I am her mum.

I remember when she was a toddler and we were invited to a SuperHero birthday party. All the kids were excited to see Captain America. Lil MsAn, found my friend’s brother-in-law, sitting alone in the second lounge room – checking something on his phone. She planted herself next to him, babbling away, until he finally joined the rest of the party.

At childcare, kinder, every time I ran into another parent, they’d tell me how loving she is. At school this year, I don’t have the luxury of leisurely drop offs & pickups, but when I do meet other parents, they always tell me how delightful she is.

This message came at the right time- a time when I was worried and thinking about the things that worry her.

What does an 8 year old worry about you ask ? Friends mostly. Friendship problems, she worries about fitting in – she is a person on her own but she also knows that she is different- different because she likes things that other girls don’t usually like.

She likes playing games that boys do, but boys don’t always want to play with girls. And she doesn’t want to always play with the boys.

There are some girls that she wants to play with but she doesn’t like the games they play. And then there are others that seek her out, but she is chasing other friends. Sometimes, she tells me, walking around by herself is more fun and it breaks my heart into a million pieces, just like that.

It’s complicated, you see.

That’s why messages like these make me happy. They give me hope.. that it will be ok. They make me feel happy because she made someone’s day better. And not to forget, all that good karma that she is cashing in.

Speaking of Cash – On Halloween, the last house that we knocked on, belonged to a set of new parents. Their little Bub is probably a couple of months old and Halloween was probably the last thing on their mind. Anyway, the guy quickly grabbed his wallet and pulled out 2 $20 notes and gave it to the kids .

There were 3 of them and he only had 2 notes. We said No, but he insisted and apologised that he only had two notes. The girls said thank you & moved on. But the little girl that didn’t get the money was sad. MsAn didn’t even hesitate for a second before offering her friend the money . It’s beyond me how someone so little can be so selfless.

We were eating lunch at the food court, the other day and SP had to make a phone call. While we were waiting, Ms An decided to teach me the lyrics of a song from this video game she plays. She was so patient too. When we I got tired of that, she put up an impromptu performance for me.

Just watching doing her own thing- singing and dancing – and I had this overwhelming wave of love hit me – I hope she continues singing, shining her way through whatever life throws her way, spreading joy and cheer as she goes.

She is a hugger, like her mumma. She goes about spreading joy, one hug at a time.

If MsA was my first true love, MsAn is my soulmate – she literally came into my life and took control – completely!

As some of my friends say, she has me wrapped around her little pinkie finger 🙂🙂

I leave you with a picture of my precious at her favourite spot .. making music

Being a mum is responding to a whiny, long drawn “Mummmm/ Mummmyyyy / Mummma” with a Yessss( and a mental eye roll) to turn around and realise that it’s not your child.

Being a mum, means you can still hear and recognise her child’s voice in the chorus or a cacophony of little voices and smile despite the noise.

Being a mum means your heart can swell with pride and break at the same time – Pride because your little munchkin recognises what is upsetting her & is ready to face it. Heartbreak- because your little love is being so brave and doing a great job of holding her tears.

Being a mum is a great balancing act – between being tough & loving , soft & stern, being fun & setting boundaries.

It’s a constant juggle between wanting to spend more time with them and wanting to send them to bed.

It’s a constant struggle between wanting to be at home with them and wanting to be at work, because I do love being at both places.

Motherhood – this overwhelming feeling that consumes you, takes over your mind, heart and soul but, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

This thought came up on my Facebook feed and it cannot be any closer to what I am feeling right now.

As they say, when the going gets tough,the tough get going .

Sending happy vibes to everyone 😊

Ms A and I were talking about teen troubles, life in general.

And as she was feeling rather bummed, I came up with an idea. I told her we should write down the names of all the people that care about her . She laughed it off at first but then, I am her mother and I persisted and we came up with a list of people that she thinks,care. We called this list – the support group.

For isn’t a Support group a group of people that are there for you- people you can talk to when you are happy or sad, people who won’t judge you, people who care enough.

This led to us talking about blogging and this bunch of kick-ass blogger friends that are my support system. These woman that I met through my blog, when I was a young first time mum to be, alone in a foreign land, with hardly any real world friends in the same city and a workaholic husband .

But even before I started blogging, I met this wonderful group of girls through online support forums . What started as a big group, slowly whittled down to a group of 7 . They were the ones that helped me get over dark days of Canadian & American winter blues. We chatted for hours over cups of teas, exchanged recipes, housekeeping tips, and everything else under the sun. We met in person and have formed long lasting friendships. They were the first few people that I shared my blog with. Some of us are still in touch.. we reach out to each other to share happy news, kids achievements 🙂 – sad news & worries too .

The blogger friends – we haven’t all met, but that doesn’t dull the friendship or the bond. We all rejoice over the blog-babies- I call them babies, most are teens now; we virtually hold each other’s hands as we face our demons as mums and/or women .. that’s what counts. And when we do meet, even if it’s for the first time, it’s like meeting an old friend and picking up the strings from where we last left off.

I don’t know where this post is going.. but I do know that even when I was alone in a place where I didn’t know anyone, I never felt lonely, because I had all these lovely people to support me through the transition- cross country moves, inter- continental moves, house hunting, difficult pregnancies, everything!

Maybe it’s time to pick up the strings… maybe it’s time to make time for conscious blogging.. maybe..

Cheesy title but it IS the first of May.

Is it just me or is this year really speeding by?

So far in 2019 –

I have survived 3.5 months of single parenting – so glad SP is home again.

Received and accepted two job offers – as hard as the choice was, I am finally settling down in the more challenging role.

Lost 9 kgs and 3 dress sizes!! Yay me!! Most excited about this one!

Next goal – To reach my zen state! Pic for proof 😁

How has your 2019 been so far? Do share.

Also if you reading this, please leave me a comment so I know you are here.

XX

Trish

Hello again,

So, I thought I’d update the blog for MsA’s Birthday, then let it gather the virtual cobwebs till July, and update again when it’s MsAn’s Birthday.

But, I have a new reader and I want to keep her hooked!! So, here I am talking/typing/talk-typing.

Do you know who the new reader is? It’s MsA. She was at home today, she had a sore tummy, she said. I sent her a link to her birthday post and she spent most of her day, reading old posts on my blog.

When I first started blogging, it was more of a virtual journal. Then as time went by, I hoped that one day I would share the blog with my girls and that they would read it and realise how much I love being their mum. I do hope they also realise how much they test my mettle and the fact that I still love them after all that they put me through , means they are super special.

MsA saved photos and some of her cute quips from the blog and dinner time conversation today was- ” mummy remember when I said this.. or when I did that..,”

I think all those years of blogging is worth it 🙂

By the way, the blog turned 12 too, this year! Isn’t it amazing?

I leave you with a picture very close to my heart.. I love the way the sun’s rays are filtering through the clouds. Every time I see this in the sky, it instantly fills me up with so much joy, hope and positivity. I hope this photo brings you the same positivity.

MsA turned 12 yesterday! Just like that , in the blink of an eye, my firstborn is 12.. it feels so strange to say that.

She has been waiting eagerly for this day. All her friends are 12 already and she is the baby of the group, hence the eagerness to catch up.

What can I say about this freshly minted 12 year old? Let’s see.. she looks like me, although she fails to see the resemblance. She acts and thinks like her father . She even smiles like him- a quiet closed lip smile.

She is as sassy as they come – to the point that some days I have to tell her to watch her attitude and almost want to give her up. And then there are days, when she floors me with how understanding she is.

She wants to excel in everything that she does and gets upset when she hasn’t given her 100%. But when she has put her heart and soul into something and she doesn’t get the desired results ( for example – applying for school leadership) , she just accepts the results in a very zen-like manner. When she didn’t make it into the leadership team, she just smiled and told me, ” I can always try again next year.” She also very graciously congratulated her competitor and rejoiced in his victory. I hope and pray that she remains this grounded for the rest of her life.

She is foodie and loves her food. When someone asked her how her birthday was – she told them , ” It was nice. We went out for a nice breakfast, later we went to get some bubble tea & cupcakes and now we are out for dinner” 😀See what I mean?

For her birthday, she wanted to shop at a local store catering to teens/pre-teens/young adults. Her excitement was so priceless when I told her she could pick whatever she liked.

Parenting a tween has its ups and downs.. some days are like dark clouds and others are like rainbows and sunshine. Sometimes we are at loggerheads ( SP says it’s like living with two teenagers) and at others we just have to look at each other to know what the other is thinking. She still has this uncanny way of reading my deepest thoughts. I don’t know how she does it.

I could go on and on about my MsA, but I’ll stop here with this wish & a little note for MsA-

Dear MsA,

I am so proud to be your mum..today and everyday! You are a strong, resilient young lady and I wish your strength only grows, as does your kindness and generosity.

You are slowly growing into the woman I knew you’d become – loving, fierce, and ready to tackle everything that life throws your way.

I love it how you are willing to learn new things and have the go-getter attitude.. keep it up, my Sunshine!

I hope that you had a lovely birthday and will have an even nicer year to follow.

Love, mum ❤️

I couldn’t think of an intelligent title for this post.. 🙂

Today morning, MsAn was invited to a play date. She has been well rested, these holidays but bored out of her head. My little social butterfly needs to see people. She went to bed very excited, last night. But, I saw her excitement fizzle out, when it was time to go.

She started by saying, she is tired and needed more rest. So, I got in bed with her and snuggled up under the blanket. We started chatting. And then she quietly said, ‘what if the other girls don’t like me?’ There it was, the thing that was bothering her the most. It was a play date with my friend’s daughter T and her friends, friends that MsAn had never met.

MsAn has always been happy in her own skin and her own quirks, never really worrying about what others thought of her. I have spoken about her liking superheroes and having a superhero party for her birthday, while other girls her age were having a princess or fairy party. She chose to dress up as Hermione for Book Day this year.

But, slowly she is getting more aware of others around her. Is my little spunk getting bogged down by peer pressure? It broke my heart that she is even thinking about all this . The urge to wrap her up in bubble wrap and tuck her away safely in the safest place, was very very strong , but I am her mum and had to be adult about it.

So, I put on the biggest smile and told MsAn, that I was going to be just 5 minutes away, and that if she wasn’t having fun, she could ask T’s mum to call me. She asked me , “what if you are busy?” I assured her that I would come and get her, no matter what I was doing at the time. “What if something goes wrong- like a fight or a hurt?” We came up with an action plan for that too.

Satisfied, she got changed and was ready to go make some new friends.

I messaged my friend to check on MsAn a couple of times and all was well. When I went to pick her up, she wanted to stay for some more time. She didn’t make any new friends but her friend S was there too and they played with each other. MsS & MsAn have been friends since kindergarten – they are like Tom & Jerry – friends one minute, rivals the next, but it made me happy to see them reach out to one another, in an unfamiliar environment.

In the end, she had a great day and I suppose that’s all that matters. 🙂

More later,

Xoxo

Trish