It’s OK to not be OK


999 pieces 😀 I completed this 1000 piece puzzle but managed to lose one piece 😥 but that’s ok.

I think this puzzle is much like our lives right now.. we have everything, yet something is missing.

We are safe in our homes, with our little families, but miss our extended families. I love staying home but miss the rush of going out; I miss people – my friends, coworkers, other familiar faces.

I also miss emotionally blackmailing my dad to come visit me because it’s been so long since his last visit – I don’t know when he will be able to visit next 🙁 Yes, this is a sooky post & I am going to share it – because – it’s ok to not be ok.

I miss the conversations – you know the ones you have with the barista while you wait for your coffee or the checkout staff while you pay for your groceries, the quick chat with a friend in aisle 6 of the supermarket or dropping in at a friend’s after a crappy day and asking that she make chai .. that’s what I miss..

This week has been a hard one – both with work and homeschooling. I have to say that the kids’ school is fantastic and have made the whole remote learning so much easier for us,but still as a parent, you can’t not feel the pressure.

I feel like I am currently trying to balance three jobs – my own full-time job-currently working from home, homeschooling MsAn ( keeping up with her timetable, coaxing her give things a go, coming up with fun things to keep her engaged) & housekeeping . When I was working out of home & came home after a 10 hour day , the things on my agenda were after school activities, dinner, homework, quick tidy up & bed. Oh! And I used to cook only once each day, at night – enough food for dinner & leftovers for lunch.

Now with work from home, we are eating all three meals at home – cooking three times , even if it’s 2 minute noodles or fried eggs for some meals. The house and the laundry keeps staring at me, as if accusing me of not doing enough.

This constant pressure, this mental load was starting to bog me down. It felt like I had an elastic band around my head that was getting tighter and tighter. So, I decided to give myself a break today. My company has recently started the concept of well-being leave ( 3 days in a year for your wellbeing) . Today I used one of my well-being days. I slept in, woke the kids up for their classes, still had to remind MsAn about her classes, but if she didn’t want to do anything, I asked her to give it a go once & left it at that.

She had to do an exercise video & she refused to do it as it’s not fun for her. I didn’t push it, but she asked me if we could go for a walk instead. So, that’s what we did. We went for a long walk- exploring our neighbourhood, admiring flowers in the front yards, talking about life, skip counting and discovering that all the house numbers on one side of the street are odd numbers and on the other side are even numbers! She didn’t complain even once and before we knew it 40 minutes had passed.

The week has ended and hopefully the next week will be kinder to us .. but to everyone out there, hang in there.. this too shall pass.. I started writing this post feeling so sad and miserable, but I am feeling a little bit better after writing here. I hope reading this helps you feel a little better too, because, we are in this together!!

Thanks for reading !

❤️ Trish


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