15 Marbles

Moments.Musings.Memories. ❤️Gathering little marbles from ordinary days and keeping them for our memory jar. ❤️

recent posts

about

  • Three Months and a Week

    It’s been three months and a week since my total hysterectomy.

    In this time, I have realised that six weeks’ medical clearance doesn’t mean that you are fully healed.

    Healing, as I am learning, is not linear.

    Some days are great and pain-free. I find myself moving more easily, I have more energy, and I am less bloated.

    On other days, I wake up tired from yesterday and tomorrow’s tired combined and want to go back to bed even before I have properly woken up.

    After months of continuous bleeding, I am still traumatised and find myself dreading trips to the toilet.

    What if it starts again?

    Even when I know that, physically, it’s not possible.

    The fear and the trauma are real.

    Three months post-operation, I was hoping to be walking and easing back into workouts.

    Yeah, I know. I was delusional. 😂

    I am nowhere near it.

    Instead of getting stronger, I was set back by a painful viral infection . Apparently trauma, stress, surgery – any of those can trigger it.

    When my doctor mentioned all those things, she paused. We looked at each other and laughed.

    Because I have had my fair share of all three over the last three years! Lol!

    Anyway, now that little bump is out of the way, I can focus on healing again.

    So, yeah… healing.

    Three months post-operation, I have learned that it’s okay to take it slow. It’s okay to rest.

    One of the biggest lessons for me has been to stop before it gets worse.

    Old me would probably push through the pain.

    New me stops and rests before it gets worse.

    Doing less today might mean I can do more tomorrow.

    I’m still learning – relearning my own body and its limits.

    That is solid maturity.

    Don’t you think? 😃

  • Friends Who Live in My Laptop

    When I started blogging, I was a stay-at-home wife, expecting our firstborn – who was also my inspiration for starting the blog.

    Every morning, I would wake up, wave the husband off, make myself a cup of chai and settle my very pregnant self on the couch with my laptop.

    I would start by checking and responding to comments, read and comment on other blogs, write my own blog post, and then get on with the rest of my day.

    At the time, I didn’t have many real-life friends where I was.

    Most of my friends lived in my laptop.

    Image courtesy: my friend ChatGPT

    Somewhere along the way, I think my brain linked blogging – and perhaps writing itself – to a laptop.

    Even now, when I picture myself writing, I see myself sitting by a sunny window, sipping chai and typing away. That image alone seems to bring out some of my favourite writing.

    At least, I think it’s good writing. These are the posts I find years later and think, Oh my God! Did I really write that?

    Over the years, my laptops were hijacked by the kids and I no longer had free rein over them when I had the time – or when inspiration struck.

    Now I have a tablet (remember the one I bought to help me recover? 😃 Yes, that one) and a keyboard, and yet I still find myself typing mostly on my phone.

    I think I need to get over that mental block and remember that writing is writing – whether it happens on a laptop, tablet, phone, in a journal or on a scrap of paper.

    What matters is that I write.

    So I can leave these little nuggets here to be discovered by a new generation of ‘friends who live in my laptop’.

    And as for the friends I see in real life?

    Don’t worry. I’ll continue gently nudging you towards 15 Marbles. 😃

  • Engagement Day .. 23 years later

    Yesterday was 23 years since the day we got engaged. They say time flies, but does it really? Sometimes I feel like I have known SP forever; on other days, it feels like I am still getting to know sides of him.

    I was 23 when we got engaged – 21 when we met, and of course we have both done our fair share of growing and evolving.

    Funny story about our engagement – I had given him the deadline of August 14th for us to either be engaged or part ways. Our engagement was fixed for the 15th. He called me on 14th evening – telling me he couldn’t get engaged anymore because he hadn’t met the deadline! Obviously, I yelled and screamed and then he said – “Just kidding!” I swear I could have killed him!

    But here’s the clincher! He was travelling from Pune to Mumbai for the engagement and his bus broke down. He had to hitchhike and finally made it home after midnight, 12 hours before our engagement ceremony was planned. Our life had been dotted with surprises and challenges like these just to keep things interesting!

    We celebrated the day quietly with coffees and talking about life in general . Another interesting fact about us and this photo is that the rings you see here are rings that we chose ourselves & absolutely love !

    The originals were chosen for us, with very little input from either of us or consideration for what we actually liked. Neither of us particularly liked the rings – we agreed to them because we liked each other. A few years back we exchanged them for some gold to make pendants for our girls.

    Now, my ring is one I fell in love with the moment I saw it & SP bought for our 11th anniversary. His ring is one he wanted for the longest time and we got it made 2 years back. They are a testament of how much we have evolved and of the life and choices we have made as we go along.

    Perhaps that’s what the last 23 years have been about too – growing, changing, keeping what matters and making the rest our own.

  • Purple spot of happiness

    Between appointments on a cold, grey, busy day, I spotted something that instantly lifted my mood.

    Just look at her. 💜

    Surrounded by rocks and weeds, and yet there she was — thriving, blooming, simply doing her thing.

    Nobody told her this wasn’t the ideal place to bloom. So she did. 🌱

    Truth be told I was in a world of pain that morning and was struggling with motivation and movement, but seeing these pansies reminded me of how far I have come in the last 6 months & inspired me to keep going , even if after a short break.

    Sometimes you don’t have to go looking for little pockets of joy. They find you. 💜