We watched Spider-Man – Brand New Day over the weekend. It took me back to my childhood when I first watched Spider-Man cartoons on Sunday afternoons at 4:00 PM – Spidey swinging from building to building with the title song of ‘SpiderMan -SpiderMan’ ..
What do you call the feeling when your nostalgia collides with your present moments..😍 No, really? The little me with her short bob, fresh from a nap that mum forced her to take, sitting with a cup of hot cocoa met the mum me sitting with my little family, handing out snacks,she smuggled in her handbag to her own kids and husband . It’s amazing to enjoy the same things so many years later with the same pleasure.
Needless to say we are a family of Superhero fans and this was the perfect family outing with burgers for dinner, lollies and of course movies popcorn !
So, it’s been 6 weeks since the operation and I have had a lot of time to think, process, think more and forget about the world. I love people and love talking nineteen to dozen but not needing to hold a conversation and keeping the smile up has been nice too.
My default position and spot
I have been content staying home, reading, binge-watching shows and having occasional visitors. I have said this to whoever cares to listen but really that’s what most of my 6 weeks looked like. I have read more books than I have in the last 3-4 years – I have NEVER watched so much TV in my entire 46 years and that’s saying something 😃
I feel rested, but most importantly I feel like my brain has had the chance to slow down and push out the chaos that it has felt for the last 2 years. I don’t mean to say that the over-thinker in me has left the building- no – she is still very much there but my new motto has been better out there than in my head and so far that’s helping.
I learnt early on in the recovery that expecting everyone to read my mind will lead to disappointment so I now state what I need from my family and friends: ‘I need this /that’ ‘please don’t say – xyz’ ‘I would love a coffee’ ‘can you pick me up/ drop me there’ – just little things but saying them out loud tells me that everyone is happy to do things / help me and it’s OK to ask for help.
I have also learned that I don’t have to do everything myself at home – the husband and the teens are equally able and capable to do the same things. I just need to remember this as I get stronger and the urge to do everything myself takes over . Yes, that’s a life skill that I had to learn very quickly – now the challenge is to keep practicing it.
There’s so much more that I wanted to say but I took a break to watch my shows .. so, this is where I will stop ..
It’s been quite a few weeks since my trip to Thailand but I still dream of this warm delicious sticky rice with coconut milk and fresh Mango *drool*
It was a much awaited girls trip to commemorate a girlfriend’ 50th Birthday . And although I had to take it slow because my symptoms were at their peak and I had more flare ups in the 7 days that I was there than before , but I am so glad that I went. My bestie travelled from India and joined us for the second half of the trip and it was almost surreal that my two worlds were colliding beautifully.
It’s Day 25 PO today and last week was one of low energy , which may or may not have been contributed to by low moods and information overload. I am hoping for better days in the weeks to come.
I have stepped out a couple of times and it has been amazing, but exhausting. I am still walking quite slowly and sometimes wonder if people on the road judge me for walking like this ..maybe they do.. oh well, I can’t really help it 😃
In the last couple of days, I have binge watched Apple Cider vinegar and Taskaree on Netflix. Both series blew my mind and I highly recommend watching them.
That’s it for me.. nothing more exciting to report .
Hope you are well and I hope at least one or two of you are still reading.
Yes, I know my inconsistency in writing is more consistent than anything else, but I have all the right intentions, I promise. If you are still here, thank you!
So, I had a hysterectomy on 6th May and am on sick leave at the moment. 6 weeks of restricted activity, lots of rest, no bending or heavy lifting. Easy, yeah? Not really if you are me😃
View from my hospital bed
I was prepared for this, to utilise my downtime wisely . I thought I will use this time to craft, do jigsaw puzzles, read , write, binge watch shows that I haven’t in the last couple of years. Gosh! I even ordered myself a new iPad for the purpose of entertaining myself. But, My life has been chaotic and I have been in fight or flight mode for so long that when I got this free time, my brain decided to just take a break – a real break. No replying to long texts, no writing, no thinking .. nothing.
For the first week, I slept most of the time at the hospital and at home. Week 2, I slept more but started reading and watched a few episodes of a couple of shows here and there . I managed to finish Virgin River season 7, last 2 episodes of The Pitt, started other shows that I can’t remember now , but you get the gist – there was no binge watching. If anything it was background noise with intermittent episodes of sleeping.
Today marks 3 weeks since the surgery and I decided to write .. I feel like I should hurry because time is running out , but my brain isn’t registering the urgency . I also read somewhere that journaling helps with healing, especially post surgery. So here I am.
As always, this is just my unedited and unplanned thoughts, so they may or may not make sense. But at least it’s out of my brain and on this page.
Recovery so far is going ok. I am still getting tired – very tired, as is expected. I am slowly starting to walk more . When I say more, it’s not miles , but today I made it to the end of the street with the husband by my side. I did need to hold on to him on the way back, but, progress is progress.
Speaking of progress, I didn’t realise that it will not be linear .. it’s more like peaks and ebbs. That was a shock! But I am grateful for the kind of person that I am and I take it each day as it comes . I did have an emotional day or two at the start – the kind where I was in pain, miserable, feeling sorry for myself, wishing my parents were still on this side of the world etc. Then, I had better days and good days. I am learning to let go, relax and just enjoy the rest. My hands and brain don’t need to be occupied at all times . It’s a hard lesson but I am trying my best to keep at it.
For now, I am enjoying the care that the husband is providing – the non-cooking husband is cooking hot dinners with minimal help from me; the meals, treats, flowers, coffees and hugs that my friends have been dropping off; daytime naps ; doorway chats with my babies and just the luxury of not chasing the clock.
