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Being a Mum

Being a mum is responding to a whiny, long drawn “Mummmm/ Mummmyyyy / Mummma” with a Yessss( and a mental eye roll) to turn around and realise that it’s not your child.

Being a mum, means you can still hear and recognise her child’s voice in the chorus or a cacophony of little voices and smile despite the noise.

Being a mum means your heart can swell with pride and break at the same time – Pride because your little munchkin recognises what is upsetting her & is ready to face it. Heartbreak- because your little love is being so brave and doing a great job of holding her tears.

Being a mum is a great balancing act – between being tough & loving , soft & stern, being fun & setting boundaries.

It’s a constant juggle between wanting to spend more time with them and wanting to send them to bed.

It’s a constant struggle between wanting to be at home with them and wanting to be at work, because I do love being at both places.

Motherhood – this overwhelming feeling that consumes you, takes over your mind, heart and soul but, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

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The blog & my support groups

Ms A and I were talking about teen troubles, life in general.

And as she was feeling rather bummed, I came up with an idea. I told her we should write down the names of all the people that care about her . She laughed it off at first but then, I am her mother and I persisted and we came up with a list of people that she thinks,care. We called this list – the support group.

For isn’t a Support group a group of people that are there for you- people you can talk to when you are happy or sad, people who won’t judge you, people who care enough.

This led to us talking about blogging and this bunch of kick-ass blogger friends that are my support system. These woman that I met through my blog, when I was a young first time mum to be, alone in a foreign land, with hardly any real world friends in the same city and a workaholic husband .

But even before I started blogging, I met this wonderful group of girls through online support forums . What started as a big group, slowly whittled down to a group of 7 . They were the ones that helped me get over dark days of Canadian & American winter blues. We chatted for hours over cups of teas, exchanged recipes, housekeeping tips, and everything else under the sun. We met in person and have formed long lasting friendships. They were the first few people that I shared my blog with. Some of us are still in touch.. we reach out to each other to share happy news, kids achievements ๐Ÿ™‚ – sad news & worries too .

The blogger friends – we haven’t all met, but that doesn’t dull the friendship or the bond. We all rejoice over the blog-babies- I call them babies, most are teens now; we virtually hold each other’s hands as we face our demons as mums and/or women .. that’s what counts. And when we do meet, even if it’s for the first time, it’s like meeting an old friend and picking up the strings from where we last left off.

I don’t know where this post is going.. but I do know that even when I was alone in a place where I didn’t know anyone, I never felt lonely, because I had all these lovely people to support me through the transition- cross country moves, inter- continental moves, house hunting, difficult pregnancies, everything!

Maybe it’s time to pick up the strings… maybe it’s time to make time for conscious blogging.. maybe..

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May Day

Cheesy title but it IS the first of May.

Is it just me or is this year really speeding by?

So far in 2019 –

I have survived 3.5 months of single parenting – so glad SP is home again.

Received and accepted two job offers – as hard as the choice was, I am finally settling down in the more challenging role.

Lost 9 kgs and 3 dress sizes!! Yay me!! Most excited about this one!

Next goal – To reach my zen state! Pic for proof ๐Ÿ˜

How has your 2019 been so far? Do share.

Also if you reading this, please leave me a comment so I know you are here.

XX

Trish

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01/04/19

Hello again,

So, I thought I’d update the blog for MsA’s Birthday, then let it gather the virtual cobwebs till July, and update again when it’s MsAn’s Birthday.

But, I have a new reader and I want to keep her hooked!! So, here I am talking/typing/talk-typing.

Do you know who the new reader is? It’s MsA. She was at home today, she had a sore tummy, she said. I sent her a link to her birthday post and she spent most of her day, reading old posts on my blog.

When I first started blogging, it was more of a virtual journal. Then as time went by, I hoped that one day I would share the blog with my girls and that they would read it and realise how much I love being their mum. I do hope they also realise how much they test my mettle and the fact that I still love them after all that they put me through , means they are super special.

MsA saved photos and some of her cute quips from the blog and dinner time conversation today was- ” mummy remember when I said this.. or when I did that..,”

I think all those years of blogging is worth it ๐Ÿ™‚

By the way, the blog turned 12 too, this year! Isn’t it amazing?

I leave you with a picture very close to my heart.. I love the way the sun’s rays are filtering through the clouds. Every time I see this in the sky, it instantly fills me up with so much joy, hope and positivity. I hope this photo brings you the same positivity.

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12!!

MsA turned 12 yesterday! Just like that , in the blink of an eye, my firstborn is 12.. it feels so strange to say that.

She has been waiting eagerly for this day. All her friends are 12 already and she is the baby of the group, hence the eagerness to catch up.

What can I say about this freshly minted 12 year old? Let’s see.. she looks like me, although she fails to see the resemblance. She acts and thinks like her father . She even smiles like him- a quiet closed lip smile.

She is as sassy as they come – to the point that some days I have to tell her to watch her attitude and almost want to give her up. And then there are days, when she floors me with how understanding she is.

She wants to excel in everything that she does and gets upset when she hasn’t given her 100%. But when she has put her heart and soul into something and she doesn’t get the desired results ( for example – applying for school leadership) , she just accepts the results in a very zen-like manner. When she didn’t make it into the leadership team, she just smiled and told me, ” I can always try again next year.” She also very graciously congratulated her competitor and rejoiced in his victory. I hope and pray that she remains this grounded for the rest of her life.

She is foodie and loves her food. When someone asked her how her birthday was – she told them , ” It was nice. We went out for a nice breakfast, later we went to get some bubble tea & cupcakes and now we are out for dinner” ๐Ÿ˜€See what I mean?

For her birthday, she wanted to shop at a local store catering to teens/pre-teens/young adults. Her excitement was so priceless when I told her she could pick whatever she liked.

Parenting a tween has its ups and downs.. some days are like dark clouds and others are like rainbows and sunshine. Sometimes we are at loggerheads ( SP says it’s like living with two teenagers) and at others we just have to look at each other to know what the other is thinking. She still has this uncanny way of reading my deepest thoughts. I don’t know how she does it.

I could go on and on about my MsA, but I’ll stop here with this wish & a little note for MsA-

Dear MsA,

I am so proud to be your mum..today and everyday! You are a strong, resilient young lady and I wish your strength only grows, as does your kindness and generosity.

You are slowly growing into the woman I knew youโ€™d become โ€“ loving, fierce, and ready to tackle everything that life throws your way.

I love it how you are willing to learn new things and have the go-getter attitude.. keep it up, my Sunshine!

I hope that you had a lovely birthday and will have an even nicer year to follow.

Love, mum โค๏ธ

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She is growing up…

I couldn’t think of an intelligent title for this post.. ๐Ÿ™‚

Today morning, MsAn was invited to a play date. She has been well rested, these holidays but bored out of her head. My little social butterfly needs to see people. She went to bed very excited, last night. But, I saw her excitement fizzle out, when it was time to go.

She started by saying, she is tired and needed more rest. So, I got in bed with her and snuggled up under the blanket. We started chatting. And then she quietly said, ‘what if the other girls don’t like me?’ There it was, the thing that was bothering her the most. It was a play date with my friend’s daughter T and her friends, friends that MsAn had never met.

MsAn has always been happy in her own skin and her own quirks, never really worrying about what others thought of her. I have spoken about her liking superheroes and having a superhero party for her birthday, while other girls her age were having a princess or fairy party. She chose to dress up as Hermione for Book Day this year.

But, slowly she is getting more aware of others around her. Is my little spunk getting bogged down by peer pressure? It broke my heart that she is even thinking about all this . The urge to wrap her up in bubble wrap and tuck her away safely in the safest place, was very very strong , but I am her mum and had to be adult about it.

So, I put on the biggest smile and told MsAn, that I was going to be just 5 minutes away, and that if she wasn’t having fun, she could ask T’s mum to call me. She asked me , “what if you are busy?” I assured her that I would come and get her, no matter what I was doing at the time. “What if something goes wrong- like a fight or a hurt?” We came up with an action plan for that too.

Satisfied, she got changed and was ready to go make some new friends.

I messaged my friend to check on MsAn a couple of times and all was well. When I went to pick her up, she wanted to stay for some more time. She didn’t make any new friends but her friend S was there too and they played with each other. MsS & MsAn have been friends since kindergarten – they are like Tom & Jerry – friends one minute, rivals the next, but it made me happy to see them reach out to one another, in an unfamiliar environment.

In the end, she had a great day and I suppose that’s all that matters. ๐Ÿ™‚

More later,

Xoxo

Trish

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My mood today

This photo is from last week, but it portrays my mood right now. I am so relaxed, because I have the next 5 days off.

I know I will be ready to go back to work at the end of these 5 days, but for now, I am hoping to savour the lazy days- where one forgets about routines and chasing the clock.

The kids have school holidays and between the constant bickering, they have managed to spend some quality time with each other. Both MsA& MsAn are obsessed with Harry Potter at the moment and have been having movie nights in! My only hope is that this sibling love persists and that they don’t kill each other before school goes back on.

My dad is in town and I want to make the most of my time with him. This is the first time that my dad is visiting and I am working full time. I miss my uninterrupted time with him from when I was a stay-at-home-mum or when the kids were younger.

Oh speaking of uninterrupted, another thing I miss is uninterrupted Netflix binge watching sessions, so guess what I am doing tonight?

Anyway, have a nice night, my sweets!!

More later,

Xoxo

Trish

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Of Blogging and Accountability

Hello world,

I am not sure if anyone is still reading this.. I am hoping seeing my name pop up in your inbox will make a few of you smile and you will eagerly click on the link to see what I have to say.

SP and I watched a movie last night and the lead character is vlogger. Watching the movie reminded me how much I enjoyed blogging and interacting with other bloggers and readers, a lot of whom are friends now.

That’s us at the movies ๐Ÿ‘†

So, here’s me trying, yet again to blog regularly but I as always, I know life will get in the way – I’ll be too tired/busy or something else and the blog will be forgotten. So, I need a little help from the Gods of World Wide Web and from you, yes you the reader of this post. I implore you to nag me, encourage me, annoy me and keep me accountable so I keep churning out those posts.

These posts will be just me being me, musing about random things on the face of this earth. If you would like to hear my wise thoughts about something, let me know and I will try my best to talk about that.

I must warn you that I am technologically challenged.. a friend asked me today how much storage I had in my phone and my response was ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

I think because -1) I don’t remember how much.

2) because so far I haven’t run out of storage – so I am guessing I have a LOT of storage!

So, as I said I am technologically challenged, so please be kind and don’t ask me any technical questions.. I have MsA & SP for that ๐Ÿ˜€

So, back to accountability, I aim to post something every day – a long or short post / a photo / just something from my day / a recipe – anything to keep blogging.

Here’s to staying on track..

More, tomorrow

Xx

Trish

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MsAn turns 7!

Ms An turned 7 yesterday!! As I am slacker blogger now, I thought I will share my Facebook post here and save it for when she is older.

Two eyes twinkling with mischief, a mouth that doesnโ€™t stop talking or singing, two ears that have mastered selective hearing, two little legs that canโ€™t sit still and two hands that are most eager to stretch and hug even strangers -Yes, thatโ€™s our MsAn!

Although it feels like yesterday that she came into this world, our little baby is 7 ! I was worried if Iโ€™d be able to love another baby, as I much as I loved MsA, but MsAn found her way into my heart, almost as soon as I laid my drugged eyes on her.. that first snuggle and she stole my heart, mind and soul.

Hereโ€™s wishing my little heart, my firecracker a very happy Birthday.

Dear Ms.An, MsA, Daddy and I love you so much – Your crazy giggles,vile tantrums, constant singing and everything you do , everything that’s you , completes our family in a way only you can.