Because I don’t want to break the streak ..
Raising my glass to the first weekend of 2021 🥂
We slept in again – everyone including MrMowgli. These days between Christmas and early days of January , where every day blends into the next and you don’t know what day it is it what date- that’s my favourite time of the year.
Today was fairly unproductive but involved binge watching Netflix, lazy meals and vegetating on the couch. I can’t believe how quickly the day ends when you are not doing anything.
In other news, we are watching Black Widows today. Quite gripping. I need suggestions for what next to watch . Any suggestions?
See you again tomorrow with more random musings .
They say it takes 21 days to form a habit..Does it, really? Well .. we’ll just have to see. Every year I start with the best intentions to revive the blog, to get back into the habit of writing every day and every year I fall off the wagon.
I blame it on my own laziness, the ease of microblogging on Facebook and Instagram and the instant gratification of comments. And I fall off the wagon, realise at a later a time that there was so much that I wanted to say and share , so I am going to keep filling this space with my random musings till I get around to sharing more meaningful content .
MrMowgli is back from a 10-day stint at the kennel and he is like my little shadow. He has been nudging my hand from time to time, asking for pats and cuddles ❤️ The first photo is him pushing himself into my lap and the second photo is of him having fun at the kennel .
My Christmas tree is still up . We were a bit late putting the tree out. I just couldn’t be bothered putting the tree up. MsA kept saying it doesn’t feel like Christmas at all. Finally, after leaving the tree box in the living room for a full week, MsAn and I set it up and decorated the tree.
Ms An was a bit miffed at her father and sister for not helping her decorate the tree. I told her that not everyone has to feel the same cheer as you and me, so we have to create our own cheer and not let it be dimmed by others.
“Ok”, she said.
She put on some Christmas music on my phone, put me on Bauble sorting duty and got busy singing and dancing and decorating! I got treated to the most beautiful one-woman show .
Every night, when the girls are in bed, I sit here gazing at this beautiful tree, I am grateful to her for creating and spreading the cheer in our home ❤️ I think I might leave it there for some more time 🙂
Hope 2021 has been kind to you so far ..
Hello hello ,
Wish you all a very happy and prosperous New Year! Here’s hoping that 2021 is kinder to us and is made up of all things nice!
We bid farewell to 2020 very quietly – watching a movie, sprawled out on opposite ends of the couch,staying put at home. It was nice to just relax and reflect on the year that was. It was a hard year but we persisted and we survived.
As it got closer to midnight, we could hear fireworks, so we stepped out on the street to try and catch a glimpse of the fireworks. We couldn’t see any, but we were able to share a drink and exchange wishes with our neighbours-turned-friends . It was lovely to ring in the New Year with them.
We spent most of today, taking it slow – sleep-ins, lazy teas, relaxed lunch and then hanging out in the front yard, enjoying the beautiful weather. I hope the rest of year is nice and peaceful like this too.
Yesterday saw a rise in COVID cases in Victoria. As a result some restrictions are back on, since 5 PM, 31st December, 2020. Masks are Mandatory indoors now and as distressing it is, it is also heartening to see everyone trying to do the right thing.
I have high hopes from 2021, just as I did from 2020.2020 didn’t really go as per plan, but we did learn how to adapt and we found our inner strength and resilience, so just for that, I am glad 2020 happened. Let’s toast to the new year and to a whole new decade 😊
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to write this.. and even after writing if I wanted to publish it.. May be I will make it private later, maybe I will leave it on here, who knows..
Today is my mom’s birthday.. My mom who was taken from us too soon, shortly after her 40th birthday. My mom is forty forever! We are the same age now. It makes me feel all kinds of sad …like there is this void , this heaviness that I can’t even explain.
I try to find myself in her face and I can’t see me anywhere.. I see my sister though .. the same tilt of head, the same eyes & just something about her whole posture, in her sense of style. She has the same elegant style, just her own.
But I see her in my face, when I look at the first photo of me taken with BabyA ..I see her in my face snuggling Baby An.. I see her in me when I cook something she used to or when I find myself humming quietly in the kitchen . I find comfort in the fact that I am so much like her.. I am so much like my mom. I was always a daddy’s girl.. but I am so much like my mom.
We are also so different, specially when it comes to our parenting styles. She was the quiet, supportive, firm kinds who didn’t believe in openly praising, but if someone so much as dared to say anything about us,the lioness in her would wake up, ready to tear them apart. And we always knew that. I would fight with her knowing that she would still be in my corner, no matter what.
I am the opposite, I am a hugger, a kisser and believe in showering not just my kids but everyone else with compliments- but the lioness part is the same like my mommy’s . And though A-An & I have our share of fights, I know that they know that I am always in their corner. Although I sometimes wonder if we are different because I try to over-compensate for what I was deprived of so early on in life or is it just me? Would I still be the same person, the same mum, if my mom was still alive? Guess we’ll never know..
I spent half of my life (my time with my mom ) trying to be a rebel, trying to prove that I am different, that I am not her and the irony is that I have spent the other half of my life trying to be her. And it doesn’t matter how old I turn – my life will always be split into two halves – the half I spent with my mom and the half without her.
Today was a hard day.. hard because I was feeling mopey & miserable, isolation has made it harder .. it has really. The day has passed … the feeling hasn’t… it probably will never get better and in some strange way I don’t want it to get better.
Sometime remembering hurts too much… but the hurt reminds you that it was real..that it existed.. and I wouldn’t trade it for anything..
Yes, that’s why I haven’t posted anything here.. I had 5 days off – 5 days I spent disconnecting consciously from everything. And can I just say it was amazing.
I even took some space from the family( mentally) – physical space is not possible right now – left everyone to their own devices- literally and figuratively. And it was amazing .
Not being the routine police – heck I slept in on all 5 days – waking up just before noon on 2 days. All alarms were off & everyone was still fine- the world was still going on ok 😊
Meals are at the top of my to-do list and as much as I love cooking, it’s another task. So, when I needed a break, the first thing I did was to pre-organise some meals from Hello Fresh and from other local businesses. That and switch off my self- imposed budget and guilt filter off. And as I said, it was amazing.
We saw the easing of restrictions, here in Melbourne and that meant that that the lawn was trimmed and the dog was groomed and I can’t explain, how much that helped in lifting my spirits.
We are still having having trouble with the internet, that means no Netflix, no studying – yes I was also going to study over these 5 days off.. so it has been a very relaxing time. Back to the grind tomorrow, but relaxed and refreshed! I was starting to feel burnt out and really needed this mindless, no-routine time off.
Hope you have been well 😊
I grew up in a small town, which was famous as it hosted a Cement factory . Our little town was the perfect blend of rural and modern life. And we had a special advantage, because it was our hometown- the place where my dad grew up. The streets he had roamed on with his friends, wiping his nose on the back of his palm, pulling his shorts ups with the other hand, were the roads we walked on. Even thinking about my time in Lakheri fills me up with so much joy.
Almost everyone knew my dad and his family. His Grandparents were sort of the community elders and my dad started working at the factory, after he finished his Masters degree. We lived in the Company Colony and went to the local sabji Mandi( vegetable market) for all fresh produce. I can still picture the dusty sabji mandi, set up in an orderly manner.
We also had the local tailor, stationery shop, food hawkers , flour mill , sweet makers and a grocery store. I am told that the flour mill belonged to my great great grandparents at some stage. Every month, my dad would drop off the monthly list at the grocery store & the old gentleman that owned grocery store would keenly watch his helpers( usually sons/ nephews/ grandsons) pack everything in paper packages made from old newspapers. These packages were then neatly stacked in a huge cloth bag and he would set out on his bicycle to deliver them to our house.
And every time he came, he came bearing gifts for us – for my sister and me. 2 packages containing hot Kachori and Jalebi. And that my friends, is how my love for Kachori began. He would plant himself on the swing in our porch, my sister and I would run to fetch him a glass of water, which he would accept graciously and shower us with blessings, “ Khush raho, bitiya”( God bless you,daughter) and give us the hot Kachori & jalebi packages. If mom protested, he would tell her lovingly, that he had the rights to spoil us because he had known our dad since he was even younger than us😊
Once the list was tallied up , he would ask mom for a cup of tea, drink his tea, bless her and be on his merry way. This and many other beautiful incidents is what made my childhood so special. As my sister and I always joke, we feel like Princesses in our beautiful hometown. There is so much love and goodwill there, it fill my heart and soul with so much happiness.
Recently, I found a lovely home chef that makes these yummy kachoris and every time I eat them I am instantly transported back to my childhood home, sitting cross- legged on the cold porcelain floor, wearing a cotton frock, eating hot kachoris and jalebis with the syrup dripping , hearing the faint rustling of paper as a little hand dug in to find another little treat..
What’s your favourite food from your childhood? Do leave a comment and share with me 😊
There is no better time than holidays for sibling bonding.
MsAn told me that once you make a Pinky Promise, you cannot break it.
MsA made a pinky promise that she will share her pop tarts with her sister. I hope she remembers the rules of Pinky Promises ❤️
This is one of my favourite photo of the girls from our trip back home in December- January. I loved it that they found comfort in each other’s company when we were outside or when they were in a new place.
It gives me comfort to know that they will look after each other when it matters the most, even if they are ready to kill each other on most days at home 😀
Officially first day of school holidays and this was me!! Only I just have two kids! And even the quieter one, MsA has been wanting to talk to me!
MsAn is the chatterbox and she is constantly talking. I was trying to reply to a work text and she followed me around talking in my ear – it’s definitely to her advantage that she comes almost upto my ear now.
In the evening , I was sitting in the yard supervising Ms An play and my dad called . While I was talking to him, on a video call, Ms A started talking / showing me the links to online shopping.
MsAn finished playing and then had a massive meltdown because –
- She didn’t want to have a shower- she wanted a relaxing bath instead and how could I not find the time to clean it.
- She didn’t want to do any writing and why was I being mean asking her to write.
While she was having her meltdown, SP and MsA wanted to tell me things too. As much as I love my family, some days it just feels like everyone wants to talk to me at the same time.. and I struggle to focus on multiple things and voices.
She calmed down after a bit and had a shower, did her writing too and is happily playing now. Me? I am exhausted. And here’s the thing- most of the times, she leaves me alone, does her own thing & I want her to come to me then. Isolation is getting to her as well and some days little things trigger an outburst. For now, all is well in our little world 😊
Dinner is ready, I am going to take a long shower & join an online chat with Neha about how to make your kids more self reliant.
Today I had to go collect something from someone in our suburb. I asked the girls if anyone wants to go for a drive with me. MsA, being the teenager with selective hearing didn’t hear or respond. Ms An on the other hand, was all excited and agreed straightaway.
She was so excited to go out in a car and made it a point to tell me. She asked if I had a spare set of sunglasses in the car like before and I said, yes and gave her the spare set. She put them on and sat up straight, looking out the window.
As we reached the main road, she let out a big sigh and said, “Oh! Mumma , I have missed this. This sitting in the car and relaxing, looking out the window and chatting.” It instantly broke my heart and turned it into mush!
All through out the drive, she kept reminiscing about random little incidents from before , when we were in the car going somewhere. After we collected the package, I asked her, “where shall we go next ?” Her face fell, “ Nowhere.. we can’t go anywhere, we need to go home.” I suggested taking a longer way home and that cheered her up.
I don’t know how we got to the topic of food, but I asked her about her favourite takeaway place and she replied with the name of our local Indian restaurant. I asked her why? Usually SP would suggest going there and both A & An would roll their eyes. Her response completely blew me over. She said , “ Because it gives me happy feelings, because I remember all the times we went there when everything was ok and we could still go sit and the restaurants and see our friends.”
She nailed it, didn’t she? Summed up everything in that little statement. I think it hit me more, because she is still my little girl , in my head, at least – she tells me very clearly, I am not a baby.And she is not.. she is all worldly and wise. But it breaks my heart that our children have had to grow up so quickly in this pandemic.
We came home and she was out playing . She saw our neighbor S and ran up to her and said, “Guess what ? I did something awesome today! I went for a drive in the car!” Both S and I said almost at the same time, “ we never thought going somewhere in a car would ever be such an exciting experience .”
Oh.. the things we took for granted… I leave you with a pic of my precious, enjoying the sunshine.