15 Marbles

Or was it Mummy’s?Like I mentioned in my last post,I found a day care for Aadya,one which both of us liked

and one which we could afford as well.All the day cares we visited so far,were way too expensive –AUD75 per day and mandatory 2 days per week..We decided to try it,but then decided against it. Then,this place,that we loved, started occasional care,once a week from 9AM to 3PM. And the rates were a steal!And we decided to try it.When I took  to get Aadya the form,she didn’t want to come back.

The big Day was Friday and I prepped her all week,so much that by Thursday she was pretend playing,”Mummy going Daycare,pick me later,Mezplaying with little girls,No little Boys!” No little boys??HUH,why?Time to have a talk with the over-protective DAD!

So on Friday,S and I woke up earlier than usual..its another thing,that we hardly got any sleep,the previous night.We got ready,fought the urge to chicken out and and woke up Aadya,got her ready, fed her breakfast and we were on our way. We asked Aadya if she wanted to bring any toys with her and she chose her big ride-on car.[Note to self- Next time,don’t ask,just bring whatever you like.] A Mini-tantrum there,successfullyaverted,when S reminded her about a ride in the new car.

At the day-care- she waved to Papa with the proudly announcing,”Papa,Me Daycare jaa rahe” Papa visibly crumbling,hugged her tight and waved bye,rushing out.Me?..well me being me,had a tough time saying g’bye.This was the first time ever, I was going to leave her with someone else and go away.Of course,there was that one time in the gym,when,I left her with the sitter and sat outside for all of 10 minutes,before going back and picking her up.

The center director,was very nice.She told me to stay for as long as I wanted.Since the center opens early,at 6.30 am,at least one security personnel is around,till all the staff comes in.The security officer,took one look at Aadya and assured me she would be just fine.Yeah right,my baby..how can she be just fine,when mamma is not around?

Anyway,we went to her room and Aadya was so excited to see,all the little girls and Also little boys.Phew.And she went on to explore,completely forgetting me.She checked the toys,while I spoke to the carers,answering their questions about Aadya and her habits,all the while,keeping an eye out on her. She was busy making friends,sharing toys,and doing a quick head check to see if I was still around.When she got busy,making wooden rockets with other kids and crawling through tunnels,I told her,I was going to Coles,to get some groceries.She threw her toys and was ready to go with me. I waited a little longer.Then,it was time for outdoor play,and I slipped out.Her carer,Crystal assured me that she would call me,if Aadi was upset.

I went outside and sat on the bench and all I did was blink and tears started flowing.I called up S,who just tried to tease me,supposedly to lighten my mood.His logic being,Pip was his daughter too and he wasn’t crying. But,he left her every single day to go to work,right?I was the one who had her attached to the hip for the last two years..all the time.EVEN on my days off..umm wait,Moms don’t get days off. That brought on fresh tears.God!I had never felt so alone.And to make matters worse,I heard Aadya crying.I could almost see the tears streaming down her pretty face.

It took every ounce of self-restraint to walk away from there.I called up my friend Pooja,next.This girl has been my support system,all through my journey of pregnancy and motherhood.We call each other first before looking at baby books or Google.I poured my heart out to her,she listened,saying the right things.It cheered me up a little.And S sent an sms,to go and get that hair-cut :)The guy is weird,but may be that’s why I love him so much.

Anyway,I booked my haircut and walked around aimlessly,my heart breaking into a thousand pieces,every time I saw a mom with her baby.Every time I saw a toddler throwing a tantrum,I found myself smiling fondly.I am sure,I looked like some crazy freaky woman,waiting to grab those adorable kids.Soon,haircut was done with..and then I felt like a freak with a new hair cut.

I am so used to pushing the pram,every time,I go out that,I felt like one of my limbs was missing.Every time,I went to a shop with Aadya ,I wished,someone else would entertain her for some time,then,why was it so difficult for me to enjoy my shopping trip?I tried knitting then,but it wasn’t much fun,without Aadya tugging at the yarn! I must have checked my phone a thousand times.Slowly the clock ticked and it was 2.15 .That was all I could take.I walked slowly to the day care.The elevator took forever to come down and finally I was there.

I stood outside Aadya’s room for 2 minutes,watching her.It was story time.When the story got over,I went inside.Crystal told her,she saw me,and said Hi..then after a pause,Mummy.And then,she hugged me and asked me if I had been to the gym.I said yes.And before I could ask her more,I felt,someone tugging at my coat.A pair of beautiful green eyes,were looking up at me,hands raised for a hug.I hugged the little boy then,there were others.Crystal told me that they loved giving hugs to whichever parent entered the room.Aadi walked around,telling her New friends,”MY MUMMY”.

When I asked how she was,Crystal said,she didn’t cry at all.She said,most kids cry at least once during their first day.But she was AWESOME!She fit in like she had been going there forever.Only she didn’t talk much. We waved byes to Crystal and Jenny and the other carers and left. Aadya wanted to go back there,again TUMARU*. On the way back,she talked non-stop,telling me all about her day,about cutting paper,coloring,cutting hair(they pretended to run a hair-salon),story,playing on the slide and so on.

We have been saying good nights to Crystal and all the little girls,for the last 3 nights.

Sigh,my little girl has crossed another milestone.And one thing is clear..I need her MORE than she needs me.

Love you Princess-Mamma&Papa are so proud of our little Big girl.

TUMARU– Aadya-speak for tomorrow.