So,the girls are in bed and I have some time..so,let me tell you the rest of the story or at least part of it:)
You might want to read Ananya Birth Story-1 first
Contd:
So,Gene said we’ll know how things are progressing only after he does the internal exam.He asked me,if I was OK with him doing my internal or did I want to wait for a female mid-wife to be available.At that point,I was like..No way..I can’t wait..just finish the damn examination and tell me,I am having the baby like NOW!LOL! So,he went out and came back with a female colleague,to be present during the examination.
She asked me how was I doing?I said “I am good”.. and just then a pain hit me..and I took a deep breath in..and Gene said,No you are not fine,you are in pain! And I think I was having an out of body experience.. like I was watching all this from outside. Anyway,he did the internal examination and said,that the cervix hadn’t opened yet,so basically,that meant we had to wait.But,because I was leaking fluid,having regular contractions,and had GD,it meant things could happen very quickly..and I would not be allowed to go home. They would have to keep monitoring my sugars and the baby.
By this time,I was shifted to Bed#1 and someone else came on bed No#2.It was someone who had had 6 C-sections(!!!) I swear I am not making this up..and she was still 34 weeks pregnant but because she had had so many C-secs,and was getting contractions for more than 2 hours or so,she became priority.
By 9:30PM or may be 10:00PM,Sanj arrived with Aadi and my aunt..and he was all excited,thinking that we are going to have the baby now..But Gene came and gave me painkillers and said,we will wait for 2 more hours and then do another internal exam,and then depending on that,decide..what needs to be done.
In the meantime,they started prepping the 6 C-sec lady for surgery..she was going to have her baby then!!! Sanj was so mad.. his logic being,I was further along in the pregnancy and in lots of pain and all I got was painkillers.. He even asked me to stop being so polite and show the pain!!LOL!! Anyway,he left my aunt in the room,for us to catch up and he went outside in the waiting room,with Aadya.They kept coming back every now and then,depending on Aadya’s mood.
At 12:30 am,the contractions weren’t getting any closer but the pain was getting worse.Then the doctor came and said,they wanted to wait another hour before deciding what to do. Sanj was getting frustrated with all the waiting.His main worry was they were going to send me home,after all this while. Aadya was getting sleepy and being naughty..yes,she is a silly one..my naughty monkey gets naughtier as she gets more and more tired. And me? well,I was getting hungry.That and as Sanj got angrier,I got more anxious..plus,I was feeling guilty that my poor aunt,was sitting there next to me,after having come on a long plane ride..though she insisted she was fine.
Gene had gone home,by then,after introducing me to the next mid-wife,who was really nice..and now,I am feeling really really bad,that I have forgotten her name. I think it was Michelle or Sarah..Anyway,I asked her,if she thought I would deliver in the night..and she said,no,unless,my water broke they would make me wait till morning,when there was more staff available and they were going to move me into a private room for the night. Phew,finally,some decision.So,I asked Sanj to take Aadi and Auntie home and then,I asked the (Michelle/Sarah),if she could please give me something to eat and a tall glass of water..because,you guessed it,until then,I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything.She brought me two sandwiches and orange juice and moved me to the other room.Sanj took Aadi home and my aunt stayed with me..another hour till my cousin came to pick her up.
The pain was getting worse..(Michelle/Sarah) handed me over to someone called Julie(I think) I remember she said,she had 2 girls.She put name bracelets on me,made two for the baby as well and said,we would be ready in case,we need to go in the OT,as an emergency.
At around 3:30AM,she gave me Petadene,for pain and to stop labour from progressing because,the doctor had by then decided that I will have my C-sec in the morning.
Petadene,made me feel very hot and I woke up sweating.I could still feel mild pain..which was annoying and I threw up.To cut a long story short,I spent the rest of the night,on a chair.
At 8:00AM,the doctor came in and the first thing he asked me was,who was I saving the bed for and informed me that they were scheduling me for 11:30AM and so,I could inform my husband,so he could arrive in time.I called up Sanj and tried to sleep..
I shouldn’t have bothered because thats when the circus began.The pains got stronger,the anesthesiologist arrived to talk to me,I held up my hand and promptly threw up again.He said sorry and said he’ll come back later.Ten minutes later,the mid-wife came and told me that there was another emergency and so my surgery would be pushed to 1:30PM provided no other emergency came in.
Another anesthesiologist came in and some more drama happened..As it is I have bad veins,add to it,I was dehydrated,lets just say,it took quite a few pokes to find the right vein and get the pump in..And then,they started the drip. By now,I couldn’t lie down any longer..so I started walking.
Sanj arrived with Aadi and my aunt & cousin and the midwife was sweet enough to make a special bracelet for Aadi.We passed time chit-chatting and make calls,cuddling Aadya..until Irene,the mid-wife walked in.I had her for my last CTG and really loved her..and was hoping,I get her for my delivery..So,it was like my prayers were answered..and Irene was there for me. That immediately made me feel better and I was filled with a new energy.She asked me if she could try to express some BM for the baby,incase,I needed to stay longer in OT.I said yes and she did..
Continued..
Ananya Birth Story-3
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Babykins is colicky today,spitting up after every feed..and I am sitting up with her,reading my old blog..(which,btw,is open for baby stories again)..and I came across this post..and I had to share it here…
Last night I was up feeding SS,and then after feeding, burping, changing she went right back to sleep but I had to stay up , because I had to hold her upright for the next 30 minutes so that she doesn’t spit up all that she painstakingly gulped down. I looked longingly at my bed, grudgingly at DH sleeping peacefully on his side of the bed and then I looked down at my beautiful baby, sleeping cozily,cuddled up in my arms and I knew that this was all worth it. Sure I love my sleep and get irritated when I have to get up in the middle of the night.I hate it even more when the whole world is sleeping.. well, at least MY whole world is sleeping and I am awake.. But this is my baby, and because I brought her in to this world,I have to take care of her.And because I love taking care of her.She didn’t ask to be born..I had her because I wanted her in my life.Will I hold it against her in about 20 years time? Heck, No!!
The reason for my rambling – As I was sitting there holding her,I was reminded of an incident that took place about 3 years back. A few weeks after we got engaged,DH got a great job offer and the company wanted him to relocate to Chennai and then go on site. He had his interview just before our lunch date and gave me the great news when we met. He was thrilled, on the top of the world.Now, DH is not a very expressive person..Well..he was not , back then.. now he is becoming more and more expressive..Anyway, Though he was not a very expressive person.. he was visibly excited and was talking 19 to a dozen about the new job and the great opportunity and what this could mean for us. We decided to go to his place and break the news to his parents. So, we reached home,sat his parents down and he broke the news. The grinner, that I am… couldn’t stop grinning… waiting for his parents to react. And did they?? Sure they did!
They asked him all about the job, salary structure,why relocate…etc etc.. and told him,they weren’t happy about the relocation.They reminded him that they took care of him when he was a kid.. rushed him to the ER when he was 6 months old.. in the middle of the night,running out of the house barefoot!And so he was being ungrateful by taking up a job away from home.Even in my love crazed-I-am-so-proud-of-my-guy state of mind,I knew there was something was not right there. DH was obviously taken on this guilt ride and was in a way relieved when that job offer didn’t materialise later for some reason. But as a mother now.. I know I am not doing anything great by raising my kid. I am doing it more for myself than for her.It is something that I want to do.. not something that she asked me to do. She didn’t ask to be born,I decided to have her!If God Forbid, I need to take my baby to the doctor at 2 am..I will run out.. in the state that I am… not just barefoot.. i wouldn’t hesitate to run out naked.. Okay well not naked.. but the point is.. you don’t think,when its your baby.You don’t spare a thought for anything.You just do it. And you definitely don’t use it to hold her back.That peaceful sleeping face, that adorable smile its all reward enough. When my daughter has to make a career choice or any other important decision,I hope to God,I can be there to support her decision. And instead of holding her back,I hope I can hold her close and tell her that it is the best thing that happened to her and she should go ahead and make the most of it.
Why do some parents expect the child to be grateful for what they have done for him or her? Will I also be that kind of a parent?Will I expect something in return for what I doing now? Something other than love for the loving care I give my baby?will she not be doing this for her kids?
So, after a lot of thinking I decided to post this on this blog, something that SS can use as a written proof , if later on in life,her mommy decides to act all crazy !
Dearest darling SS,
May you grow big and strong. May you be successful in all you do. And we promise to be there for you , at all times…
And we want you to be comfortable with us and to be confident enough to share everything with us… even if you commit a crime, we want you to be comfortable to come and tell us what you did..( not that I am encouraging you to be a criminal) I just want you to know that we are there for you!
Love you loads..
Now obviously this letter is for Babykins too..and I m going crazy with guilt..coz I blackmailed Babs to go sleep with SD otherwise,mummy would go away…she cried,I yelled,then ofcourse we made up n I told her why I couldn’t lie in bed with her endlessly… ohh well, mommy guilt.. one way or the other,doesnt go away! -
What is a baby blog,without a birth story?So,here’s the story of Ananya’s arrival into this world.
Friday 22nd July:
Early morning,at around 3-4 am I woke up with a tremendous pain/pressure.I got up and tried to walk to the toilet and even the short walk was extremely painful.I got back in bed and kept turning this way or that.But there was no comfortable position.Between 7 and 7:30 am,I started to lose my mucous plug..and the cramps were getting worse.Sanj was getting ready for work,I told him to be prepared,as that might be the day. He wasn’t too worried..because,just two days before,we had gone in to L&D with elevated blood pressure and they sent me back.
Anyway,my aunt was arriving that day and so,I was excited.Aadya woke up and asked if we could go get a cake for her.So,we went to get the cake,with my cousin..Walking around was extremely painful..on hind-sight I realise that the baby’s head must have engaged..that is what was causing so much pain and pressure.
So,we got the cake,then I rested.
Through out the afternoon,the pains kept getting stronger..but they were still not consistent.
Late afternoon,I finished cooking,played with Aadya,we watched a movie.
At around 5,I noticed a lot of discharge and decided to call the mid-wife,just to be sure..and as soon as the mid-wife heard my symptoms,he asked me to come in..I told him that my husband was still at work in the city,so,it would take me around 2 hours to come in..He said,as long as there was no change,it should be OK. I hung up,fed Aadya,had my tea and waited for Sanj to come home. When I told Sanj,we need to go to the hospital,he was like,don’t worry, you’ll be fine till Monday,when you go in for your scheduled C-sec.His logic was since we had been going to the hospital every alternate night,for BP/pain..and nothing happenned,he figured it was a conspiracy-the hospital staff was not going to let me deliver before the scheduled date!!So, his big plan was,we go to the airport,pick up my aunt,then if I was still in pain,we go to the hospital..!!
I fumed,ranted and raved.. and asked him to drop me at the hospital then,he head-off to the airport…That way,if his conspiracy theory worked,I would be ready for pick up by the time,he got done with the airport pick-up! So,we set off..the hospital bag was already in the car..it still needed a few bits and bobs,but I decided,I could get them the next day.By the time we reached the hospital,Aadya had dozed off..all the way to the hospital,she kept saying,she would stay with me and Papa could go to the airport alone..When I tried to wake her up,she said,she was tired and wanted to rest-IN the car! Now,that was a first.
Sanj was getting worked up as it was nearly time for the flight to arrive. I asked him to just go,I could go up to L&D alone..and he agreed..Another First.That should have clued me in.
Anyway,I went to L&D and I met the mid-wife,Gene..the first thing he asked me was where was my husband..he remembered that I was coming in late,because he was at work.So,anyway,he took me to the labour ward.Now,everytime,I went there,I ALWAYS got Bed#1..and that day,I got Bed#2..Another first! Gene left me there and said,he would send someone to get my stats and everything..I got comfortable on the bed and started reading my book. Everytime,the pain hit me,I breathed through it..and continued reading. There was a couple sitting on the bed in front of me,Bed#3,I think and they asked me,if I had any other kids..I told them about Aadya.The guy actually told me,I was pretty cool to come alone and actually read a book,while in pain.
I just smiled.. but now I that I think,I must have looked pretty cool!!! LOL! Filmy even!
Gene came back and hooked me up to the monitor and asked me how far along were the contractions…I told him,I stopped timing..because I was in pain for a long time..almost all evening.He said,he’ll come back to check the monitor reading.When he did,I was getting 4 contractions every 10 minutes!!OMG!That’s when it hit me..that something was actually HAPPENING! Immediately I called up,Sanj and told him the exciting news. Then Gene burst my bubble..he said,we’ll know exactly how things were progressing only after he did the internal.
To be continued
Ananya Birth Story-2
Ananya Birth Story-3 -
Babykins turned 6 weeks over the weekend and today I had my 6 weeks post-partum check up…Now,I am officially fully recovered..:) I remember last time round,when I went for this 6 week check up,everything had gone crazy from the moment I got out of bed..but the check up was fine,then and now..:) But,I remember feeling very distinctly like it was my last day of school and I was stepping into the world..all alone.. this time,there were no such feelings..but there is always this feeling of being over-whelmed that keeps wanting to drown me..I try and push it away,but it just doesn’t go away.
Babykins is a good baby-knock on the wood..as long as she is well-fed and her diapers are clean and dry,she doesn’t care for anything else.If she is sleepy,she doesn’t care if you are playing drums next to her..But her favorite time of the day is..umm nights:) Thats when I get smiles out of her..thats when she likes to coo.. 🙂 And on most nights,I am too tired but those smiles are like instant energizers.
As time is going by,Babushka is oscillating between being madly in love with her sister and being MAD at her!I guess,for her the biggest challenge is sharing me with Babykins..Overnight her mom went from being all hers to being with the baby all the time..I try and try to spend time with her,but when Babykins is sleeping,she just wants to watch her or kiss her or not do things with me.She wants me,when I have to attend to Babykins.I feel bad for Babushka,I feel bad for Babykins and I end up questioning my own abilities!Not the best case scenario..I know:(
SD went back to work,two weeks after Babykins’ birth and he is away 12 hours a day.He does try to help,when he is around.. but mostly its the minute by minute struggles that are getting to me.Some days are perfect..really everything goes like clockwork..and some days are so crazy,I don’t have time to drink my morning tea till noon. My bad cleaner-karma continues..I am hoping that ends soon.
The Dr.today asked me to talk to friends,to get rid of baby blues,then,I remembered last time around,blogging was my life and sanity-saver..so I am here writing this incoherent post.. just getting the thoughts out of my head,so there is some space..seriously,right now my brain is the most cluttered space in the whole world…Its like I just don’t stop thinking or having mental conversations and lists..gosh..I always have a mental list that I am ticking off..
Laundry-check
Feed Babykins- check
Pack Babushka’s bag-check
Cooking-check
Babushka’s meals-check
SD’s lunch box-Check.
blah blah blah..
I forget to eat..but I am not complaining about that one..coz you know what?I am already back in my pre-pregnancy jeans..and I am liking my pictures better!!:P
Somebody,help me get rid of those lists..
Umm..Sorry to offload like this.. but I promise..I’ll be there for you,when you need me..so,thanks for reading..:)
