First step forward

My baby turned one and I am still lugging around the baby fat. Truth be told,I still look 5 months pregnant. I started with some basic exercises at home,sometime in February..after we moved to the new apartment.Since I was still nursing Aadya full time, I didn’t want to play with my diet.And every time,I started something before this,I was either too tired or just couldn’t fit in a real work-out in my day and so stopped after a day or two.
In the meantime,my friend P kept going to the gym regularly and started seeing results too.. she kept motivating me,gently chiding me when I took a break from work-out. Finally one day,something snapped and I knew I had to do something and I started my exercises at home. But it was always a rushed workout on my living room floor,while Aadya was napping.Soon the naps got shorter and the workout even shorter and I had to stop so many times,because apparently Aadya didn’t want mommy to play by herself. I ordered some videos and started working out with that. Aadya seems to like those better. I think she likes the instructor!
Anyway,since these sessions are always rushed or interrupted,I didn’t enjoy them so much.Sometimes,I even got upset,with myself, or DH or even Aadya. I lost some teeny-tiny bit of weight and I kept thinking if only I had put in more effort..Then,yesterday,I went and joined a health club. A proper health club..and it is expensive. But they are real close to home, have good child-care and just the whole atmosphere makes me want to be there. Also,since its expensive,I know..I need to put that money to good use. And now,please don’t ask me how expensive..I thought and almost went and cancelled the membership.. then,thought to myself..after 2 years of being pregnant or nursing,1 year of continuously being with Aadya,I deserve a bit of pampering. Its not that I don’t want to be with her..or that I don’t like being home with her.. but its just that I feel,I need to do something for myself too.
Despite the great baby-sitting services offered,I don’t know if she is ready for it.. or may be I am the one who is not ready for it. Today,DH dropped me at the gym,while the father-daughter duo went for a drive and some fun time. I really enjoyed my time there. Being able to exercises without feeling rushed was a luxury in itself. Every time,I thought about how Aadya was doing,I calmed myself by reminding myself that she was with her dad. I walked out the door,and saw them,both,waiting for me in the lobby. Aadya was walking around.DH pointed out to me,where she was..I walked up and stopped a little distance away,right in front of her and stretched my hands,”come baby come”..and she just froze..There was absolutely no recognition on her face.”Come on..come come..”There was a young couple standing by,near the reception,they turned too,to watch the great reunion.. But.. no such luck..Baby just refused to come to me.. turned her pretty ass up at me,and walked up to her dad.
HUH??? One hour.. one hour I was away and she forgot me?? I won’t lie,I was a little disappointed. Every morning when DH leaves,she cries,wanting to be taken along.Every time he steps in that door,her face lights up,she squeals,waves and says a sweet “Hi”..and for me,nothing!!! I picked her up,and was buckling her up,when she suddenly looked at me..and said “hi” like that was the first time,she was seeing me!!Go figure!
OH well,here’s to more steps forward,more dropped pounds and may be tomorrow,I will get my squeal of joy from Aadya!
I stopped myself from writing about my work-outs,for the fear of jinxing myself ..but what the heck..Anyway, you guys, please keep sending me regular doses of morale boosters 🙂 and any words of wisdom would be highly appreciated.