15 Marbles

Moments.Musings.Memories. ❤️Gathering little marbles from ordinary days and keeping them for our memory jar. ❤️

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  • Happy Women’s Day

    Note : I had written this post a couple of days back and have sat tight on it to post it today, because Women’s Day.

    Every girl needs her girls – you know, the ones that she can share her silly jokes with and cackle with laughter , but also ones that she can vent to and ugly cry with.

    I am privileged to be surrounded by such girls from various phases of my life . Some have seen me as a child, a moody teen, others as a grown woman. I met some in real life, some virtually, while others were real life friends, now turned into virtual connections due to distance and time. Regardless of how we met, they have each held my hand or nudged me gently to get me through tumultuous and/or uneventful days at that time.

    I am also honoured to be that girl for some most of these lovely ladies. I absolutely cherish our friendships and conversations shared over the years. I love the fact that we lean on each other for support and advice, drawing strength from each other’s experiences and characters.

    Here’s to shining the spotlight on the characters from my very own ‘Sister Act’

    Starting with my first bff ever – my sister- we couldn’t be any more different even if we tried .But I know when I need her, she will A.L.W.A.Y.S show up for me. Then my aunt, who is like a friend, sister, aunt , mom rolled in one. My childhood bestie – who makes time for me even when her own life is chaotic. My baby cousin who checks in even when she has her hands full with extended family and a new business.

    I have my local girls that I can meet for coffee or chai or a drink every now and again. When I can go back to India, I my school/ college friends and I find the time to catch up for a coffee or a meal. A coffee with a girlfriend is not just a frivolous outing, it is a moment of bonding. Major life issues are often discussed and potential solutions found over cups of coffee and for that I am so grateful.

    This pic is from a very insightful Coffee date with the best friend that I have had since I was 15!

    And when I talk about women who have held me in a warm comforting embrace of friendship, how can I not mention my work girlies. Some I have known for over 10 years, others a few years, but they all accidentally or intentionally subscribed to my madness – they patiently wait in the hallway, as I say ‘Hello’ to one other person, laugh at or with me when I can’t stop laughing in the middle of a story and lend an empathetic ear when I need one.

    Then, I have my chai-time girls, called so because we connected virtually & chatted over cups of chai each day until we met face to face and they became my lifelong friends- connected virtually again ( bachcho ki shaadi mein toh mil hi lenge fir se 😃)

    Last but not least in any way, my blogger friends most of whom I met virtually when I first started blogging. Over time, the blogging took a back seat, but we remained connected through other means of social media .

    These women became my village, my tribe when I was finding my way through the early years of motherhood. They were the ones I turned to when I was sleep deprived and stumbling through toddler tantrums and meal-time dramas. They are still the ones that I turn to for parenting advice and to share the daily happenings. After 18 years of knowing each other virtually, we finally met face-to-face.

    This is not a random sentimental rambling. This is my grateful acknowledgement as I think about life in general and the last year in particular. Last year was the hardest year of my life – may be I will be brave enough to write about the year that 2024 was, one day. But for now, I will end this post by saying that I am grateful to be surrounded by intelligent, sensitive and empathetic women who let me be me, by being their true selves around me .

    Here’s to strong women- may we be them, raise them and be fortunate enough to be surrounded by them

    ❤️ Trish

  • New beginnings 🧿

    🧿

    MsA is the reason I started blogging, so it’s only apt that I share here that she has started University now!

    Time does fly and babies do grow up despite us mums wanting to keep them little forever. I offered to drive her to campus on her first day and she refused. She did ask if I could drop her off at the train station, which I gladly did, despite having to wake up early.

    I have struggled with the idea of letting go of her – when I couldn’t reach her on the phone, the first time she went out with friends, alone without an adult, I freaked out . My brain was about to explode thinking of worst possible scenarios. Slowly and steadily, we have managed to reach a comfortable stage where she happily shares her plans and I support them without losing my mind and sanity.

    I am so excited for her and all the fun that awaits her at University.

    Please send her blessings and best wishes and lots of love as she sets out on her new adventures.

    Love, Trish💖

  • Main Character energy

    Hello loyal readers,

    I am back!!

    Yes! I know my not-so-long list of readers comprises of me and two others that I nudge ( not so subtly ) to read, but “dear loyal readers” has a nice ring to it 😃.

    First off, wish you a very happy new year 2025 – I know I am more than a month late, but isn’t it the thought that counts ?

    I spent my January travelling, resting, reading , eating and sleeping. I will write more about my January adventures in a couple of days.

    February started well, with happy vibes. This is the year my blog turns 18! I think I can safely say that the blog turns 18, despite multiple handles, various monikers, because it’s still the same person writing these posts. Sometimes I read my old posts and am so in awe of the past me and wonder how did I write that , especially in my sleep deprived, early parenting days.

    February also saw me turning 45! I still feel 16 in my head, but 45 it is!

    Pic credits: MsA

    Seeing as I have been away for a while,I guess it’s time to reintroduce Me to you 🙂

    So, who am I? I am still the girl next door who would greet you with the biggest smile and invite you over for a cuppa. Former people pleaser, currently working on being politely assertive. I am an empath to the core and wear my heart on the sleeve. Bling and brands don’t impress me but kind words and good deeds do. I can’t lie to save my life – I have tried and it makes me feel extremely guilty, so, what you see is the real me. But, I would be lying if I said I can’t pretend : if it means being kind, I will pretend , grin and bear, even if you are stabbing my little toe with your stilettos.

    I am an introverted extrovert. Some days I make plans and keep hoping that they will get cancelled, the moment I say ‘yes’! On other days, I make impromptu plans and see them through. Once an avid reader, I struggle to finish books now – I do blame myself and the distractions of social media . Once a regular blogger and writer, I fail to keep up with the writing now and once again, I blame myself and the distractions of social media for it. However, I do write witty posts in my head but they get lost in the chaos of my thoughts.

    A friend told me that I exude the main character energy and I haven’t heard a truer thing to date! Some days I feel like I am the lead character in a movie or a novel and am someone I could be friends with . I don’t know if that even makes sense.. but I think if I met someone that was so like me, I would be friends with them. The only time I don’t feel like the main character is when I am with my kids. Ok, sorry, I lie! 😃

    But, like most women and mums, I am guilty of putting myself last in my list of priorities. So, I intend to change that in 2025. Don’t they say there is no right time, as right now. Right! So this year, I am pushing myself to the top of my priority list – that and as every year, I hope to plan to blog more, even if it’s to share mundane thoughts and random musings . If you are still reading, do share if that’s something you’d come back to read.

    Oh! And before you go, do you think you are the main character or a side actor in your story?

    At this point, I would like the clarify that when I feel like the main character, I don’t mean it like I expect everyone to do things I want- I mean that even when I am doing things for others, it’s still my story – story of my wins,losses and challenges – hence I am the main character.

    Be back soon with more random thoughts,

    💖

    Trish

  • Life update – My papa

    **Trigger Warning – loss, grief**

    I have been MIA for a long time here. My last posts were getting ready for Diwali and full of anticipation for my dad and sister’s upcoming trip.

    They arrived here in December and we had a fantastic time. After so many years, all the stars aligned and for the first time my dad and sister were visiting me together. We were all really excited. We had a few day trips planned, family meals together, lots of photos etc. Unfortunately, that was also the last time, our family was together and whole.

    My sister returned home and dad stayed on for a few more weeks . I took some time off work and for the first time in so many years, I spent uninterrupted time with my papa – sipping chai, talking about life, gardening, teasing him about drinking chai and taking naps on the couch, watching movies( we had never watched movies together before),making future plans, taking sneaky photos of him with Mowgli ( he would figure out eventually and pose sneakily), etc.

    I had been wanting to visit the Great Stupa at Bendigo with him, ever since the first time I went there. This time, I made plans to take him there. Twice, we decided on a day, but the thought of sitting in a car for so long discouraged him and we cancelled. He didn’t want to waste so much time in a car, when he could have been at home , in the same place as the kids. Then, MsA requested, ” Nanu, please lets go to the the Stupa” and just like that, he agreed. ” “Sure, beta, if you want to go, we’ll go” and off we went. I am so glad we did.

    Australian Open was on at the time. I asked him if he would like to go watch a match or two – this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and his eyes lit up. Then he heard me talk to a friend on the phone discussing ticket prices and he said, ‘its not that important, we don’t really have to go’. I didn’t say anything, just bought the tickets and put my phone in front of him. His smile when he saw the screen.. Oh my heart.. I knew then that I had done the right thing. You see, my dad used to play tennis when he was younger. He was the first tennis player I knew of. He is the one that got me interested in the sport, way before I found my favourite Steffi Graf and Pete Sampras. He was like a child, so excited to see live action – he didn’t move from his seat for the entire time we were there, not wanting to miss any moment of the matches. He kept predicting who would win. But the moment he found out that the girls had returned home from their day out, he wanted to go back home, to be with his precious grandies. His friends would tell me later, that going to the Australian Open was the highlight of his trip- he couldn’t stop talking about it, telling them that his daughter made his dream come true.

    Australian Open

    Papa went back to Mumbai 2 days after our AUOpen day out and that was the last time I saw him happy and smiling. I had to fly to Mumbai 2 days later to say the final goodbye to my dearest Papa, my forever hero, my best friend in the whole wide world. It was surreal how quickly we lost him and if I am honest, we are all still heartbroken from this loss. I don’t know if we will ever recover from it.

    I debated about writing this post, but how could I not. Papa was my biggest supporter when I first started blogging. Initially, I would force him to read my posts. He would ask someone in the office to print out a couple of posts and give me feedback when he had read them. In recent years, I would send him the link and insist that he reads and tells me what he thinks about my writing – positive comments only! He indulged me when I spoke about my blog friends, helped organise presents for them when I played ‘Secret Santa’ with them, accepted the whole sharing my life on the internet, without batting an eyelid.

    It’s been 6 months since we lost Papa but it still feels like yesterday and I still have a lifetime to go without him. I miss his voice, his goofy smile on video calls, everything. The thing with losing a parent, especially your last parent is that it unhinges you- it off centres your universe and there is no coming back from that. But when you are a mum, a parent yourself, you have to keep going- keep doing everything that you must to keep ‘their’ universe intact, while trying to heal and deal with your own grief. I know he would want me to be strong and keep smiling, so I keep going.. until the waves of grief hit me again and then all I can do is break down and cry.

    My papa was the kindest, most generous soul I ever knew of. He always had a smile on his face and gave everyone the benefit of doubt, regardless of their actions. We used to joke that even if someone put a gun to his head, he would say, ” don’t worry beta, may be the person was upset, we should keep being nice”. He was happy and content with simple things – daal-roti, chai, soft cotton t-shirt, beautiful flowers, his family. And he loved sweets 🙂 I like to think that he is reunited with my mom and sitting in a beautiful garden, sipping his favourite 1/2 cup chai with her updating her about the last 2.5 decades , and his beloved dogs are at his feet.

    I don’t know when I will write again, but if you are reading this, thank you for reading.

    Love, Trish