15 Marbles

… that they think that I have special powers.

I love it how Ms.A asks me to give her special sports power, every Wednesday morning, because she has sports that day. At the start of the year, she hated Sports/ PE classes, because she wasn’t a fast runner. And every Wednesday morning, she would fake a tummy ache or sore throat. And every Wednesday was the worst day of the week, according to her. We had a chat and just to motivate her, I told her that I would give her special running powers, when I dropped her off to school.But, they would only work, if SHE believed in them and in herself. That day, she came home happy and ever since, Wednesdays were not so bad anymore. I love it how she believes 🙂

I love it how Ms.An wants me to kiss her Owies away and only feels better if I do. Last week, I had to even kiss a specific spot on her little bum, because it was hurting. This morning, she has a sore tummy and just as she was doubling up with pain, she said to me,” Mumma, I want you to make me feel better”… It broke my heart and turned it to mush all at once. We snuggled up on the couch, till she started feeling better. She hopped off my lap, went on to do her thing and came back to me, when another wave of pain hit her, then, she asked me to make it better..

I know one day, they will stop believing in my magic. I know one day, they’ll be able to fix their own problems, but until then, I will continue to don my invisible cape and revel in the glory 🙂

.. Hi and that I am still alive!

I have so much to say, but not enough words to put my thoughts in… Not enough time to sort my thoughts through..Would you believe it if I said, I haven’t picked up the yarn and thread in the last so many weeks. I can’t even remember when the last time was.

But, I am having fun at work.I am exhausted but I am happily exhausted. Last couple of weeks, months even have been a bit of an emotional roller coaster but I got some quiet time, this weekend to reflect on everything – I spent a couple of sleepless nights and realized all I needed was some time to sort my thoughts. There is still heaps of muddled thoughts, but I feel much calmer.

In other news, the Christmas Tree is up. The girls decorated and I left it the way they wanted it.. yes that’s a big deal and I need to write about it. All I did was put the lights on it.. AFTER all the decorations were up. B.U.T. who cares- the tree looks beautiful ..See for yourself 😀

I have had this page open since yesterday morning, finally got some words out. I will hit enter now, before I change my mind or re-read it and find my words, not blog-worthy.

Xx

Trish

Brag Alert!! 

Yesterday, 

MsAn (4yr,2 months) fixed this on her own. She needed help with 3 little steps that required fixing small pieces. 
 
I can’t tell you how proud I am of her! She looked at the instructions, followed the steps, explaining what she was doing all along! I told her ‘ I’m so proud of you’, so many times.. She didn’t care, as she was focused on her Lego, but later in the evening, we met some friends and she told them that her mummy was so proud of her today!! Sigh! My little baby is a big girl now.. A big chatterbox too !

This morning she had pulled everything apart and was ready to do it again!

  
And this time she was so quick!!! The whole thing was put together in less than 15 mins! I leave with a picture of little munchkin, working her way through the instructions . Love the concentration on her face 😃

…tears,stories & smiles…these words sum up my feelings tonight…

My mom would’ve turned 59 today.. I wish she was still here.. some days are worse than others, some years are harder than others.. This day, this year was just that… I don’t know why… I stayed busy all day, but as evening came,there was no stopping  the tears that threatened to spill all day long. 

  
SP was away & I was cooking dinner when the dam broke .. The girls came running to hug me.. We stayed huddled for a long time, till MsAn broke the hug n said, “OK do you want me to call your daddy? Will that make you feel better?” MsA chipped in, “May be we should talk to Tuku(my sister) .. She must be missing your mum too”

 And that broke my heart even more.. For my precious girls that my mom never got to cuddle & kiss… For the grandmother, my babies never got to meet… For all the notes that I never got to exchange with my mom about child-rearing and what not… For my husband that she never got to know… For the mother-in-Law, that would’ve spoiled him rotten, but SP never got to meet..For everything that should have been.. For everything that could’ve been..

Every day, when I am with the girls, I try to be the mom that she was.. Every day,I try to be as good as she was… She is the reason, I enjoy cooking & crafting .. She is the reason, I hang on to those two passions so fiercely…

She is the reason I’m a mess tonight…she’s the reason, I’ll bounce back tomorro… As I said some years are harder than the others .. This is just one of those … Send some hugs n prayers my way… I’ll come back, when I am back to being my ‘sunshiny’ self. 

Love

Trish 

R