15 Marbles

Moments.Musings.Memories. ❤️Gathering little marbles from ordinary days and keeping them for our memory jar. ❤️

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  • Bed-time drama continues.

    After I wrote,yesterday,about how Aadya went to bed herself,over the weekend..my nightmare began.
    She refuses to sleep again.Last week,we had an episode with the neighbour!Bed-times with Aadya are loud,angry,tearful,you name it.. all the terrible things,put together.Add a sick Aadya to that equation and all this increases 10 folds!!!
    She was being a complete brat at bedtime..kicking,screaming,pinching.Sometimes I wonder,if a Devil takes over,my sweet child at night.She pulls her Papa’s hair..bursts in loud screaming cries,starting with “Ohhh Maaaaaaaaaaaa”…and gets on our nerves. We would snap at each other,for making her cry,snap at her for screaming..and it went on.Then,the neighbour tapped on the wall.And we knew,she had had enough.I carried Aadya all night..for some reason,she couldn’t be calmed that night.somewhere,down the night,I realised that she was sick and sure enough next morning,the doctor confirmed that she had the croup.
    I left a note for the neighbour,apologising,explaining how Aadya was sick.She came by and explained on her part too.But,all this has left me feeling pretty awkward and over the edge. I try to keep Aadya as quiet as possible at nights..but,I don’t know,if she gets super-loud/cranky at nights or if it feels that way!
    Anyway,the last week when she was sick,I would give her dinner,then her medicine,massage,read a book,she would drink her milk and she would be fast asleep.Now,since yesterday,she started feeling better or so,I thought.We stayed in most weekend,so as to not tire her.we took her to the library and play area,and then for a walk.By 7.00pm,she was sleepy.I gave her dinner,read her book.Skipped the massage,because,she was too sleepy and took her to the bedroom.It was 7.45 then.
    She started singing first,I pretended to be asleep.Then,slowly the twisting and turning.She is co-sleeping now.And wants to sleep on my arm.its fine to begin with,but gets painful,when the twisting and turning starts.I don’t mind,if its just for finding a comfortable position..but,it just doesn’t stop.I still pretended to sleep.But,after a while,the pain takes over and irritation starts creeping in and then,the pretending has to stop.That’s what happened last night too.
    At around 8.30,I gave up and came out to the living room.She followed me.Then,she told me that she wants to do Noni..and Shoyi(Aadya-speak for sleep).OK,I tried again.Again,the same drama.I got mad and came outside again.Now,it was 9.30.after a while,again the same thing.I refused to go inside with her.She sat down on the living room floor and HOWLED!She refused to be pacified by Sanj..and wanted only me to hold her.As upset,tired as I was…repeated cries of Mimi mimi are enough to wreak havoc,in one’s heart and head!I picked her up yet again..This time,I just sat on the couch,reading my book.She just kept hugging me and slept.I really don’t know..why or what caused her to fall asleep then. May be she was tired from all the drama..God knows,I was.At one point,I told Sanj,that I was too tired and felt like I was getting depressed.He took her from me,but she kept whining to come back to me.
    Anywho,my peace did not last for long.She woke up again at 3.1-3.30am,crying.First said No for dudu,then yes,then asked for Wotto(water),then wanted to remove her shirt,then,we changed her diaper,then,she wanted the light ON,then the light OFF,then,the FAN was interesting,then,my eyes had to be pinched open,then,she wanted to put on her shirt again..Phew,Tired OF READING??? Imagine,I had to go through it.AT 3 FREAKING AM!!! and the caps lock is intentional!
    I just stopped answering her at some point..and rolled away from her. I don’t know what time she/I slept.Sanj WOKE me up at 6.00,asking me where Aadya was! Well,where would she be…somewhere on the bed,buried in the covers.
    I am fairly patient with her,and him..if I may say so myself.But,its at times like this ,when I just want to leave everything and everyone and go away somewhere.Its not the anger and irritation that bothers me,its the Unmotherly thoughts,that I get of..leaving her somewhere,or leaving them both here,while I go away,or covering her mouth with my hand,when the howling starts..or just going and jumping off the cliff,that scares me and bothers me.

    This morning,the crying and tantrums started the moment we got out of bed.First,she wanted me to lie in bed for some more time.Then,she wanted my brush,then,something else..and so on.Now,the brat is finally in bed…Today,I had to step outside twice,to get away from her screaming and taking a deep breath.I refused to lie down with her at nap time…after an hour or so,of her fighting,and me not responding,she finally fell asleep.All I did was sit next to the bed.A small victory,I just wish,it didn’t come after so many tears.
    All you wise ones,Please help me out here…before I go and kill myself!

    OH!!!AND she is not even two yet…Please tell me,things get better!

  • 20 months and counting….

    Dearest Aadya,

    You turn 20 months ‘young’ today.And these 20 months with you have been a roller coaster of fun,sickness,joy,frustration(both yours and ours),but whatever it is,its been an experience of a lifetime.

    You want to be a big girl,and do things like your mimi and then,when we ask you to behave,and be a big girl,you say you are a babee.You want to do everything yourself,from eating to dressing up.You now,tell me what you want to eat,your favorite being Bhaatu(rice)-really Aadi,you want to eat your Bhaatu,as soon as you wake up.And whatever it is that you are eating,you need a poonsh(spoon),to eat it with.

    I am amazed at what all you know,and I am not saying this,because,I am your mother.I like the way you can tell,which clothes are mine and which are your Papa’s.And you never tire of telling me,that,even if you see the same shirt 10 times in a day,you consider it your responsibility to tell me that its Papa’s. What I don’t understand,is how you recognise,the clothes that you haven’t seen either of us wear?

    Aaduli,you are a keen observer and a quick learner too.You had figured out how to slip your arm out of your t-shirt,a couple of months back.And like the other fashionista ,you like slipping just one arm,out.Some fashion-statement,you toddlers are making.Anyway,now,you have learned how to put on your own socks too.And since the first successful attempt,two weeks back, you have been trying on socks of all shapes and sizes!Speaking of clothes,what is it about sleeping topless,that appeals to you?Since the last week or so,the only way,you can get comfortable at bedtime is,if you take off your shirt.And again,when we are speaking of clothes,you want to chose your own outfit,every time..perfect with mismatched socks and matching shoes!Your obsession with shoes continues and now your favorite thing is toks,that’s what you call your socks.

    Your new favorite thing to do is,WALK!!and if you want me or Papa to go somewhere with you,you ask us to WALK!!You don’t like sitting in your stroller as much as you used to-these days,you get bored of sitting,while I walk and then,you want to walk too.Your newest ambition is to learn to open the restraint belts,of your stroller and car-seat. Every time I buckle you in,you lean over and try to figure out what I am doing,and practice at the first chance,you get.

    As far as talking is concerned,you are saying a lot of words..its like everyday,you have a list of new words,learned.You can very effectively communicate,what you want,using,signs and words.Though sometimes,I feel that you use signing,more than words,but your Papa and all others around me reassure me,its because of the big move.I hope that’s what it is..I don’t want to pressurise you,but,start using your words,fast,little one.

    And lastly,sweetheart,you need to sleep,to be fresh,through out the day and you need to stop resisting sleep.For,if you want your Mimi to be Sane,you need to stop trying her patience at bed-time!!!You only sleep,if I am lying down next to you.Though,the funny part is,when you are really sleepy,you don’t want me to touch you,but you want to touch my face and hands.strange ways,your mind works in.

    These days,you are enjoying your new found independence..you want to do almost everything yourself..from changing your diapy,to using the wipes,to brushing your teeth,changing your clothes,eating,carrying your plate..everything.The only thing that you needed me for is sleep.And yesterday nite,you surprised us..You went into the dark bedroom and lay down on the bed,all by yourself,pulled the covers over yourself and called me only when you wanted you dudu.My heart welled up..My baby is all grown up.I still lay down next to you,tried to pat you,and you told me,”No No,Mamma”…My heart swell and got crushed all at the same time and as I was lying there,next to you,feeling sad,that my baby is not a baby anymore,you rolled over,and snuggled close to me..That just tells me,alls not lost.:)

    Another few months and you will be 2..though,you are already showing us,what terrible twos are going to be like.But all said and done,I am sure,we’ll get through that,sometimes patiently,sometimes not so patiently,sometimes happily,sometimes,not-so-happily…

    Just remember,even though at times,Mimi gets upset,irritated,angry..she loves you a lot and so does your Papa….

    Love you,Babychino ..love you,my choco-pie!!

    Muaah..And please sleep well!!

  • Why US???WHY?

    I tried to write yesterday..But Icouldnt.How do you?How do you even think sanely when,your home is under attack.I was woken up by Sanj’s call,yesterday morning.He said,”have you seen the news?” I yawned,”NoWhy?”Bombay is under attack he said..I hung up and the phone rang again,a tearful Aneela that time…She gave me the other details…I was talking to her,all the while,images of Colaba causeway kept flashing in my mind.
    Sanj and I had our first date at VT..we ate at one of the food-stalls and then went to the Metro to watch a movie.I was at the Leopold,3 years back.These are all the very places,where,we went for our late-night drive.I just cant think straight..NDTV live is ON all the time..and I keep watching,wiping away tears.
    My australian neighbour asked me,”why were they targetting only the westerners?”And I told her,”I dont know..but a lot of local people are trapped and getting killed too..”To which she replied,”One australian was killed”..I really didnt know what to reply..I just said,I wish this gets over soon.I really wish..
    There is bad news everywhere..while,we are relieved that our friends and family are safe..there is still a pang of guilt,at every relaxed sigh.So many people have lost their loved ones,some dont even know where theirs are…
    We heard two terrorists talking last night..It was disgusting…they seemed to be in a trance.I wonder how someone can get so brainwashed…so influenced…that not a single thought comes to your mind before killing some innocent people.My cousin is the same age as these guys and kept thinking,they all look so young..if one of them would have come home with him,we would even know.Would we be able to look at another youngster,without worrying about his identity?
    Its time,we did something..We ,as a people,need to do something together..But how..I mean,do you keep looking at every other person,with suspicion..?
    God!I just wish this gets over..soon.

  • The Little Piggy-banker

    Ms.Aadya got a cute little piggy bank with her name painted on it.Its a white ceramic pig with lovely pink flowers painted around her name. So many month ago,Aadya laid her hands on a coin,for the first time and she refused to part with the new shiny toy. So,I asked her if she would like to save it for later..and she said “Yeah”,did I mention Yeah is her favorite word?So,anyway,we saved that coin. And then,after that day,whenever,Sanj or I had some spare change from groceries/petrol, we would give it to Aadya to put it in her Piggy bank.And then we would clap and say “yayyyy”..

    Then we moved here and the local bank gave us a pink piggy as piggy bank and when they heard that we had a little girl,they gave us another one,just for her..a blue elephant.So,now Aadya has two piggy banks.The one with her name on it and the blue one and I think she likes the blue one more.Anyway,her preferred piggy-bank is not the reason for this post.The reason is her love for collecting coins.The other day,I left my handbag on the couch and Aadya took the opportunity to hang it on her shoulder and prance around.

    I got distracted by a phone call and the next thing I know is,Aadya is pointing at the shelf where her precious piggies sit.I distractedly gave her the white piggy..she asked for the blue elephant..I gave it to her and then realised,something major was happening in Aadyaland.Boy,was I right or what? She had opened my handbag and discovered my stash of coins and was busy stuffing them in her piggy banks,very meticulously.For every 2-3 that went in the blue one,the white piggy got one coin too.In the end,Ms.Aadya,the piggy-banker was a tad richer and every time,I need coins,I am left fumbling in my handbag.

    On a totally different note,everything is FOUNNNNNNNN (Aadya-speak for Fun)..be it brushing teeth or taking a nap,basically anything that she likes doing is FOUNN! And Piggy-banking is the most FOUNNN thing ever! Sanj left some spare change on the kitchen counter,yesterday and guess who had FOUNN?