15 Marbles

It’s been three months and a week since my total hysterectomy.

In this time, I have realised that six weeks’ medical clearance doesn’t mean that you are fully healed.

Healing, as I am learning, is not linear.

Some days are great and pain-free. I find myself moving more easily, I have more energy, and I am less bloated.

On other days, I wake up tired from yesterday and tomorrow’s tired combined and want to go back to bed even before I have properly woken up.

After months of continuous bleeding, I am still traumatised and find myself dreading trips to the toilet.

What if it starts again?

Even when I know that, physically, it’s not possible.

The fear and the trauma are real.

Three months post-operation, I was hoping to be walking and easing back into workouts.

Yeah, I know. I was delusional. 😂

I am nowhere near it.

Instead of getting stronger, I was set back by a painful viral infection . Apparently trauma, stress, surgery – any of those can trigger it.

When my doctor mentioned all those things, she paused. We looked at each other and laughed.

Because I have had my fair share of all three over the last three years! Lol!

Anyway, now that little bump is out of the way, I can focus on healing again.

So, yeah… healing.

Three months post-operation, I have learned that it’s okay to take it slow. It’s okay to rest.

One of the biggest lessons for me has been to stop before it gets worse.

Old me would probably push through the pain.

New me stops and rests before it gets worse.

Doing less today might mean I can do more tomorrow.

I’m still learning – relearning my own body and its limits.

That is solid maturity.

Don’t you think? 😃