This Pregnancy

I am so scared this time.I dunno why..I am happy and excited but I keep praying silently,”Please God!Let everything go smoothly.Please let this baby be fine”.
I hope it’s just normal maternal anxiety.I am worried if something goes otherwise,how will I explain to Aadya.I find myself wishing I had waited before telling her.
The last 2 weeks my boobs have been very sore ,I couldn’t even bear to be hugged..when they are not,I find myself checking..if they still are.Everytime I go to the toilet..I am worried and holding my breath. I guess I am worried because my progesterone levels were low last time..and I don’t know what they are this time.We have a dr.appointment later tonight..and I hope all the blood work has come back normal.
Last time when I went for the U/S,I had no idea what to expect..this time,I know what to expect and it has me worried if everything will be as expected. I can’t wait for the 3rd of December any longer..
I can’t wait to be safely past the 12week mark..
On the other hand,I also get a very happy feeling that this is meant to be..time is just right..it has to go well…but the very next minute..I chide myself about being too hopeful..
sigh…