Happyyy Birthday..Its been 14 years to the day,since we celebrated your birthday with you..but,we haven’t stopped celebrating..and we haven’t stopped missing you..still miss you like..I dunno like what..
I am writing to you today,because,my little girl,your little grandie,has been asking tonnes of questions about you…She wants to know why you are living in her Jai-Jai Bappa house.She insists,we wave out to you,the brightest star in the sky..She talks to you,calling you Twinkle Star Aani.She insists,we wave out to you..and say Hi mom.She wants to know what her Papa can call you..Today she even gave you a pretend star ring.
She wants to know what her Nanu calls you..she wants to know,if you gave me cuddles like I give her.She knows you are Mumma to her Tuku and me..and that you are aunty to her Sahil Mamu n Sofi Masi..She asked me and now knows,how you are related to auntie and Aaji..and she wonders if Aaji misses her baby,like I miss her when she is in school.She wants to know..if you love her and I tell her ,”yes baby”..she loves you..Your Twinkle Star Aani loves you..
The more we talk about you,more Sanj yearns for some time..anytime with you..so that his memories of you are all his own and not shared..He often wonders what it would be like to be loved so much,unconditionally..what it would be like to taste the yummy food cooked by you,that we all rave about..At times,he wishes he could compare notes with you..about ‘Life with Trish’..umm yeah..that one,I am not too thrilled about..but really,Mom,I wish you had met him.really..I wish he had some memories of his own..
We went to the temple to offer bhog for you,last saturday..and She wanted to know,why..we told her..we have come to give laddus to Twinkle Star Aani..and she wanted to know where Aani was..we said you were sleeping and she wanted to wake you up and play with you..sit in your lap…
I caught ger whispering something the other day..when I asked her what she was saying…She said,she was asking the Fairies to do ‘magic magic and make Twinkle Star Aani people’..Oh Mumma,my heart broke…my heart broke for the little girl,whose missing a grandmother she hasn’t seen…My heart broke for the relationship you both would have shared…My heart broke for all the times,you would have said..”see,this is what I had to go through”.
But,as I write this,I am happy in the knowledge,that she knows you.My biggest fear was that my kid(s) wouldn’t know my mommy and I am glad,its not so..She proudly points at your picture and tells everyone that this is my Nanu and my Twinkle Star Aani…I am happy that she wants to know about you..I am sad that I have to tell her stories about you…I wish it were you,telling her stories of me.
I really wish the fairies could do magic magic and make you people…can they please??
Miss you,Ma..reallyy miss you..will it ever stop hurting??