Worst nightmare come true.

Last weekend I saw my worst nightmare come true.
I was up for our early morning nursing session.I woke up DH to pass me some water and the baby’s medicine.He did and was on his way to the restroom ,when I saw him stumble and fall down. I thought may be he was too sleepy or that he didn’t see the bed..BUT No! he just passed out. I kept calling his name, SS started to cry and spit up. I was holding her in hand and tried to help DH with the other.. but no luck. I grabbed the phone to call 911 and that’s when he got up. I helped him to bed and asked him what had happened. He had no clue. He thought he was sleeping. I suggested we go to the ER.He insisted that he was fine and may be was just too sleepy so he didn’t mind sleeping on the rug..huh?
And then he dozed off again on the bed.By then,SS was sleeping too. But I couldn’t sleep.I started looking for a General Physician online. OK, now here is the deal.We moved to Phoenix around 6 months back,when I was just stepping into my 2nd trimester. So, along with finding a new OB-GYN,we also had to find a GP and I did find one.But they require new patients to visit for a well check up.And that can take anywhere from half an hour to 1 hour..sometimes even longer depending on when you had your last well-check or physical. The workaholic that my husband is didn’t think that was worth wasting the time when he could well be working. His logic being that his non-pregnant self didn’t need a doctor.
In the last 6 months, he has been losing weight progressively, getting irritable, looking paler.. but he always shushed my worries and complains as fussing of a loving wife. I am your man ..I am strong enough to take care of you and me! I still went ahead and booked appointments for him with the GP, but he made me cancel them.Once because he was too busy at work, and another time because that very day, we found out that my amniotic fluid was dangerously low and I was put on bed rest. There were days when he would come home from work and doze off on the couch..I would be worried at times and irritated at others, depending on how I was feeling that day.And every time I said something about it, he would just say that he was over worked.he didn’t want to take a day off .. because what about work?!!!?? and then I also stopped telling him.. thinking that he would slow down once the baby is here.
So, the baby came 15 days early. She was born on a Friday and he took Monday and Tuesday off.The plan was that he takes the next 10 days- 2weeks off,to help me with the baby. But his team couldn’t do without him and kept calling him ..Again he decided to finish “this task” and then take it easy. There were more “this task”s to follow…some days he was up till 5 am n then go to office at 9.00.
So,back to Saturday morning, I called up the GP’s office and they were closed.I tried 2 more and they wouldn’t take him and asked us to go to the ER and then call them in the following week. He still insisted rather vehemently that he was fine. I was still not convinced and called his friends. Asked them if they could take us to the ER!I decided to get a licence ASAP that day. We went to the ER, after waiting for 3 hours, they finally took him in and started the tests.To begin with, he was under-weight.They monitored his heart by an EKG and found something irregular there. That alone meant that he was staying for the next couple of hours.They hooked him up on IV, ran some blood tests . They found out he had DIABETES.His blood glucose level was so high, the doctor was surprised ,when we said, we didn’t know about it. HE thought that may be DH had forgotten his medication or gone off the diet!
And,that’s not all.. he had high blood pressure.He had to stay overnight in the hospital. His B.glucose and B.pressure were being checked every 6 hours. And his heart was constantly being monitored.Thank goodness, his heart checked out fine.Blood pressure also stabilised with medication. But the diabetes is something that we have to deal with and work to control.
But there are no words to describe the helplessness I felt….seeing your loved one sick in a hospital bed, hooked on to a heart monitor really breaks your heart. I remember feeling the same helplessness when my dad suffered his first heart attack almost 10 years back. He was also over-worked, over-stressed; my mom had passed away about an year back.. and though he didn’t say anything to us, i know it must be on his mind..
I remember feeling the same way at both the times-the feeling of extreme anxiety… like there is a fist grasping your heart and you are choking. Both the times I was brave ..handled everything calmly but couldn’t stop crying when I was alone.I cried so much even this time that at the end of the day, i don’t think i had any tears left. The only difference was when my dad was sick,I was in India,surrounded by family .I had my sister by my side, who had the same feelings for that person lying in the hospital room .She knew exactly how I was feeling.. and likewise I was the only one who could console her, give her courage.. because I was going through the same hell.Here I had friends, who were great.. They were a great support to me …despite our short acquaintance.
Thanks Hetal and Jerry.. you guys are really great. I really appreciate all the help,especially the way you took care of me n my baby girl. It really means a lot to me. Hetal is this quiet girl, always soft spoken.. she tried her best to distract me in the waiting room and even later.. kept lending her silent support. Jerry,on the other hand , has this calm cool way of speaking..its just so reassuring to talk to him.And though it was just the second time I was meeting him.. still his presence had a calming affect on me.
Thankfully the whole episode is behind us.. and diabetes is something that we have to deal with and adapt our lifestyle accordingly.DH did take a week off and is feeling far more refreshed now than ever before. There is something therapeutic about babies.. they just have a healing influence and a great mood boosters.. I think SS has played a great role in calming her dad down.
If you are still reading, I would just like to say- Don’t neglect your work, but don’t neglect your health either.Don’t put your health on the back seat. And if you cannot remember when you had your last physical or if it has been more than a year,its time to schedule one.
Take care and God bless…