15 Marbles

I was tagged by Timepass and Anitha to do this tag.

Here are the rules-

The three rules to be followed are:

• a) The rules must be mentioned in the beginning of the tag.
• b) You must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
• c) At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

My middle name before marriage was my dad’s name and now its my husband’s name..so instead of playing favorites..I will just use my own name and complete this tag with that.

T- T is for teacher. My mom and both grandmoms were teachers. I followed in their footsteps and had my own teaching stint for about 8-9 months and loved it! T is also for Toronto, where we first moved as Newly-weds.So,that is one special place for me. T is also for Thane( a city near Mumbai),and that’s where my mayka(father’s home) is..so obviously,my eyes start twinkling at the mere mention of the place.

R-R is for reading and I am a total reading buff. At any given time,there is atleast 1 book that I am reading. I feel incomplete with my books. I have to read before bed and in pre-baby days…any free time through out the day was spent reading.Even now,I try.. but most days, either am too tired.. or if aadya is in a playful mood,I just put the book down to play with her. R is also for romantic, and as you can tell from my posts,I am a mush bag.

I -I is for India,where I belong.I am just waiting to end this “abroad” stint and go back to India and settle down.Love all things Indian and am proud to be an Indian. I is also for Ice-cream..yumm yumm..my favorite is chocolate icecream. I is also for Ink..I fondly remember the day I started writing with an ink-pen..It made me feel so grown up.

S- S is the first letter of DH’s name and it is also the first letter of my nickname. S is for Shona- which is what DH& I call each other. S is for Sitaphal(Custard Apple) which is my favorite fruit. My parents first home had so many sitaphal trees.. we used to have a ball eating these yummies.

H- H is for house. And I am driving DH nuts about buying a house..big or small. H is also for husband- And I am nuts about mine. He is the sweetest man ever..sometimes he can be hot-tempered..but most of the times when I lose my head, he is calm..what more could a girl ask for.H is also for Dr.Hlavacek,my OB-GYN…she was just perfect.

N – N is for Nasik. And I was born in a small town,called Devlali, a few miles away from Nasik city.N is also for NAPS. And I love my naps. I can sleep anytime time of the day. I can take a nap, right after breakfast..thats how much I love my naps.

A- A is for Aadya,my firstborn! She is the love of my life…If you have been reading this blog for some time.. you already know that! A is also for Ashwini..If I was not named Trishna,I would have been Ashwini.. Thank God, it reminded my mom of Ashwini Kumar, some actor then.. and I was named Trishna… So, here I stop writing about the tit-bits of my life.

And I tag-

T- Tharini

R-Rbdans and Rayshma

I- Boo for creating Indian Mommies

S-Sue

H-I will copy Parul’s idea here.. and take a step back and tag G- Gauri

N- Nm
A- new mom Asha
Get busy girls.

I just couldn’t resist a cheesy title for the nickname post.
Swati tagged me to write about Aadya’s various nicknames.. So, here they are..( I just hope she doesn’t kill me later)
When I was pregnant,we took to calling her “Chotu“(the little one).not so funny..so she was a tiny being.. but what is funny is my sister calls me “Chotu“( the short one)..so imagine my dad’s surprise when my he came here,and DH asked Aadya..Chotu,where is Papa?..My dad is like.. yeah yeah I am here! It was a riot..those first few days..then he realised that his”Chotu” is all grown up now.
when being sweet-talked to..”Papajunu and Mammajunu” distorted version of Papa ki jaan and Mamma ki jaan.I personally think thats cute.. wonder what she thinks.
Baby, babu, babulu…bhoobhoo..chota puppy…we are all dog lovers… and sometimes the way she cuddles up,reminds me of my doggie when he was a pup..
chotumannu,bubuchunu…sweetie pie.. cutie pie.. baby girl, pumpkin pie..shonu,shona,baebu, beba..depending on what DH/I feel like.
chakuli,booboo– her masi on webcam.
Gundu bala or gundu bablu.. coz she is just getting naughtier.(bala is marathi for baby)
and last but not the least- chotu mamma..coz her dad keeps calling us identical..and it makes me feel proud!
Both of us didn’t want her given name to be distorted and so chose a short name.. and so we refrain from shortening or spoiling her real name,Aadya!
And I tag- Kutti’s mom, Mona ,Shobhana and anyone else who wants to take it up!

Since I started writing this blog,I consciously avoided writing about my mom..just because that part of my life is stil very raw..does it ever stop hurting? I think not.
Its my Mom’s birthday today and if she was alive,she would have been 52 and a proud grandma.
The last time we celebrated her bday was when she turned 40. She was fighting cancer and had lost almost all her hair, she was tired.. but still strong in spirits.And we were just two girls, who could see that their mom was sick..but just didnt know how sick. Coz,didnt she keep telling them,that she would get better.. and that.. wait till she feels better.. then, we’d be taken to task!
That day she dressed up, tied a scarf on her head, we sat her and dad next to each other and gave her gifts and then she cut the cake. That’s the last time we celebrated her b’day with her. But that’s not the bday that I want to remember.. I want to remember the earlier ones…the ones before she fell sick.We would buy gifts for her..and she would chide us..”Why did you waste your pocket money on all this?” We’d sulk and pout.. “Ohh Mamma, cant you appreciate it.. humne itne pyaar se laaya hai( we got you gifts with so much love and affection)” sulk some more… and she would come and hug us..” I know..I know.. I just don’t want you to waste your pocket money.. its for you “..and she would serve us delicious food.. Food that we liked.. on her B’day…
After her death, for some customary pooja, someone asked us,what was her favorite food? and we were at a loss.. Coz,her favorite kinda food was what we liked to eat.KalaJam thats the one sweet that she loved and thats what we keep as Bhog( food offered to God) and then eat it ourselves,remembering her.
And then, there are those GOD FORSAKEN friends and relatives..who have to have a say in every damn aspect of others life.. and they tell us.. this is wrong? Who cares?
Are you coming and sharing our grief? no.. then who gives you the right to come and stop us from celebrating something?
Aadya would have been one lucky girl..heck, even her mamma,would have been one lucky girl,if this beautiful lady was still alive. She pampered everyone. She was every one’s favorite niece,aunt,cousin, friend. My mom was just one of those, who you want to go running to if you are too happy or too sad. ..or even if nothing happens, you want to spend time with them. She always had something to share with you.. be it,news,politics, knowledge,tid-bits,chit-chat.. or just a cup of chai. There are a lot of people who never criticize others but there are very few, who are never the target of criticism. She would cry when watching movies and commercials, a soul so gentle, I dont remember ever having seen her argue or fight with anyone. She was a teacher,I think the youngest Head-mistress(at age 29) and she very happily gave it up,to be a SAHM mom. She took up naturopathy then. If you walked into our house on any given day..you would be greeted with pots full lush green wheat grass and some wonderful aroma from the kitchen..The wonderful aroma had nothing to do with Naturopathy… its just how I remember the atmosphere, when I came home from school.She was an excellent cook.. and she would dish out scrumptious meals so effortlessly and in no time.
She was someone who didn’t like to depend on anyone.. even when she was sick..I guess that’s where I get my stubborn..I can do it myself genes from.But she was always the first one to help others, be it a sick friend or a relative in need.
Losing her was the biggest tragedy of our lives..It was a great loss for my dad and both of us sisters..But its a fact of life and we are trying to make our peace with it.
And so,it boils my blood,when certain people try to make up feel like its our short-coming. Like its a crime to lose your mother.. And I just want to kill them, when they say things like.. OH you would know better if you had a mother.. Well EXCUSE me!! I do have a mother.. she is just not here anymore. And I know.. she would have hated them too !LOL! may be not hated.. coz she didn’t know how to.. but I am sure she wouldn’t have liked them too much either. Any way.. for now..those people can go to hell!
When I got pregnant, suddenly I started dreaming more and more about my mom..sometimes,I would wake up happy, sometimes sad. Sometimes,in my dreams ,I would see her taking care of my baby..sometimes she was taking care of me.And then,I found out,I am having a girl.. and that day..I felt so much peace.. I couldnt understand why… but I just felt happy.. and rested. Then, I had Aadya.. and I dont know why I was never scared to take care of the baby. All my friends or cousins would ask me.. what would I do,if I couldnt comfort the baby or if the baby didnt sleep.. how would I manage without any help? I dont know.. I didnt feel helpless.. The day I held my baby..I felt strong.. like I was filled with some kind of special energy.. Was it my mom’s love for me.. or was it my motherly feelings for Aadya.. I know not. All I know is that.. That was the time, when I thought of my mom,it didnt hurt so much. And when my baby cried.. I could feel her presence around.. I could feel her guiding me through..I could feel her calming me…As a newborn and sometimes even now..Aadya looks up at the ceiling and smiles..and I find myself looking up.. instantly and smiling.. On our first night home,from the hospital,Aadya just didnt want to sleep.. and I calmly found myself humming and doing things, which I had never done in my life.. but.. I could see someone else doing it in my mind’s eye… like someone was prompting me…finally after 2 hours, we put her in her crib,and the exhausted baby slept..I sat down to look at all the pictures and I saw my first pic with Aadya.. and I looked like my MOM!
Its just uncanny.. how I just felt her telling me what to do..right from the very beginning.Even when Aadya wasn’t latching on..when she got her first diaper rash at age 10 days( how I figured out that one.. I still cant explain-I had never seen one..or read about it..but when I spoke to her nurse,I found myself saying,she has a diaper rash.) I just kept feeling her around..I could hear her voice. I still feel her around..and it makes me feel nice and safe.
DH always feels a little left out when I talk about my mom..left out coz he feels he was denied the affections of a woman,who would have pampered him to no ends! Aadya will know her grandma,her Aaji through her pictures and the stories that we tell her..And I.. I will just keep missing her… when I am happy or when I am sad…or just like that.
Happy Birthday Mamma,Miss you..love you..

This post is straight from my heart and it took a lot out of me.. to just write this.. and I donot have the energy or the inclination to edit it.. so I will just publish it just as it is.