15 Marbles

And thanx for the concern everyone. Shobana and Reshma,thanks for mailing in-I will be replying soon.

About the lump,its still here.My doctor didnt think there was anything to worry about as long as it didnt change or become painful.As of now,its not changed or is not painful. I will be seeing my doctor again in a month’s time even if there is no change and then she’ll take a call.

Hopefully everything should be fine and God Willing,I might be able to go to India ..and if required,see the doctors there too.

It really touched me how many people care about a person they havent even met..it really made me very happy to know that I have so many well-wishers,even those who are willing to scold me 🙂

Love you all!

ILs came and left ..Diwali passed happily-Aadya turned 8 months old..So many things happened,I have been away only a little while but it feels like I have been away forever. Every time I sit down to write,some other pressing work that has-to-be done comes up and I put away the writing for a later time.

Aadya is so mobile now.She is cruising around from room to room so effortlessly.While its fun to watch,I have to keep a constant eye out on her..ALL the TIME! Just last week,she was playing in the living room.I remembered something and went to the walk-in closet in the bedroom. I found what I was looking for and turned..only to find some soft lump hitting my foot. Its this little imp sitting at my feet,looking up adoringly.She reminded me of a small puppy 🙂 And then she raised her hands to be picked up!

So,now she can get to places easily and on her own- which is good because if I am going from one room to another, she happily follows me.. well not always, sometimes she is crying and crawling-crying because the separation anxiety has kicked in and so she doesn’t want me to out of her sight ever! this mobility is not so good.. coz if I put her down and get on with my work,she comes and tugs at my pants and wants to be picked up!It is tiring to constantly lug her around!I am just so tired all the time.If it is possible,every single bone and muscle in body is aching and I can feel all the ache separately. Yesterday for the first time since her birth,I yelled at Aadya and felt so guilty about it later. She had got her flu shot and was being very fussy and I was just too tired and she just wanted to be with me and cry. Sorry baby

And then around end of October or first week of November,I found a lump in my arm-pit.This was around the same time that 2 b’s mom wrote about her lump.It was just so nice to see all your messages to her.One part of me wanted to write about it here and share it with you,and the other was scared to just put it down in writing.So this was a small lump- a little bigger than a pea.. but it scared the hell out of me. That’s how my mom’s cancer had started.I took an appointment with my doctor and she checked it out and said it looked more superficial.So,she put me on a 14 day antibiotic course and come back if it still didn’t go away. Then,the ILs were here and I decided to go back to see the doctor after they left, because it still didn’t go away. So, anyway,I went back last week and the doctor said, it did look smaller but it is deep rooted.But there is a high likelihood that it is because I am still breastfeeding! So,we can wait till I stop breast-feeding or go in for a general surgery to perform a biopsy. DH immediately said that I should wean off Aadya right away.I know he has my best interests at heart, but I am not ready. I know Aadya will do equally well on formula, but I am just not ready.And I don’t want to get any surgery done here..it is going to be so difficult,no one to help-it is going to so stressful for all concerned. So, we are just watching the lump now..hope it stays like that and if at all changes for good.

Last week was my mom’s death anniversary.Every year,its as if on that day,I relive the events that took place on that fateful day. This year though I was distracted with Aadya but still, i don’t know when a silent chill crept up,making me sad and depressed.

And having visitors over for the last few months,suddenly being alone is a welcome change but at the same time,my heart pines for home.. home-back home.Those unexpected knocks on the door, those doily-covered dishes exchanged without any reasons,anytime is time for chai and gupshup..At least you know who your neighbours are -these are just some of the things that I have been thinking about :)I hope we can go home,sometime soon 🙂

And now after all this melancholy,let me share something sweet that made me smile-
Yesterday,Aadya got her flu shot. She knows the nurse at our GP’s office now and was chatting with her and she kept telling her- aww sweetie, you are not going to like me in a few minutes. So, while they were talking,Aadya got her poke -suddenly her eyes became so wide with pain and she started screaming. DH took her from me( remember I am part of the conspiracy)but Aadya turned towards the nurse and started scolding her.
Aadya- frowning-aaa aaa daa baaa
Nurse- I know I am sorry
Aadya- baaa..hmmmnnnaaa
Nurse- I know baby I am sorry,will you forgive me
Aadya- still mad..ammmmaaa.. unggaa
Nurse- Ohh I know..Ok, you think about it..
Aadya- uaahh..
And that was it,I couldn’t help but laugh over this serious conversation..and had a smile on my lips every time I thought about it.

Edited to add– Can someone please tell me where Swati is and if SM is blogging again..?I have been meaning to ask about these two favorite bloggers for quiet some time now. if you are both reading, write back 🙂

Diwali2007

fun from Aadyaland

With lots of news and updates.
First things first,Aadya can stand up now, independently, hands free for a good 5-30 seconds. She has been trying to stand up for the last week or ten days.. holding onto furniture or other stuff and finally did it today! The excitement on her face was worth a million bucks and more. And since I am a mom,I have the right to brag..and since you have been a part of her life and keep coming back here to read about her..you have to read my brags:)So, she was on the floor,playing.Slowly she went down on all fours and then picked up one hand and then the other.. and stood up for about 5-10 seconds before flopping on her butt!
But it was just so cute! And the look on her face-Priceless!
And I now have a new name..two actually- Mimmi and Mamma! 🙂 Yes, sometime during the ILs visit, Aadya started calling me Mimmi,when she needed me,after having had her share of grandparent-ly love.. and then, sometime after came Mamma! Ahhhhhhhh..I am on 7th heaven!
ILs visit was great..They were both overjoyed to see Aadya..and Aadya was happy to have new people to play with. She took to her Dadu almost instantly…crawling up to him tugging at his pajamas even calling him and chewing off his nose at every chance that she got. Time with dadi was ok too.. but she didn’t like dadi’s louder voice and constant hugs n kichchis..:) Every time poor Dadi tried to kiss her..forcefully she would scream!LOL!! Dadi would scream back to be heard.. and the little monster would scream even louder..
Playing with dada-dadi was fun only till mamma was sitting in one place..or was in her line of sight..so most of the time,poor dadu spent his time standing by the kitchen door..holding Aadya ofcourse.
Diwali was wonderful.Dada-Dadi arrived two days before Diwali,loaded with gifts for Aadya. Dadi sewed Aadya’s outfit and we got lots of diwali yummies too. Aadya happily welcomed them at the airport and even readily went to them. I wanted everything to be perfect for Aadya’s first Diwali. ofcourse perfection was what I remembered from my childhood. And I was happy and content at the end of the day..I did everything that I thought or remembered-right from rangoli to lunch naivaidya to laxmi puja. I prepared the traditional maharastrian fare- Puri,potato bhaji,masale bhaat, koshimbhir, bhajiya ,papad and kheer!
Next day for Padva,We did Aadya’s Aarti and gave her a walker,as a gift.She seems to like it a lot..It sure does buy me a few extra minutes in the shower. We had DH’s colleague and his wife over dinner.It was their first Diwali after marriage..and I didn’t think it was fair that it went uncelebrated. So,they became a part of our celebrations 🙂
Between trips to the malls and Walmart,and time with Aadya,the ILs trip came to an end-short and sweet. I am glad,I did my best to make things as happy as possible for everyone concerned.
Silver Lining- ILs gifted me a sewing machine.I was planning to buy one for a long long time,but for some reason or other,it just never happened.MIL had heard me talk about it last time too..and this time again.So,when I found a good deal for Black Friday,they just gave me the money 🙂