First of all,Thank you everyone,who took the time to write to me,after my last post.I still don’t know,what could have triggered that meltdown. I am guessing,it was hunger,mixed with waking up at a strange HOT place. Well whatever it was,left me tired and scared.
So,two days after that,when we got asked to a play-date at the same mall,I was not too thrilled.But,I didn’t want to miss out on meeting some friends and so agreed to go.
We had decided to meet near the play-area.Now, this is a place,that we go to at least once,sometimes twice a week. But, that day,Aadya refused to get out of her stroller. Have I mentioned,how much she loves her new stroller? She will happily sit in it for hours,if we just keep moving.Now,grocery-trips and walks are good fun for us too.So,she refused to get out of her stroller..I forcefully got her out,she saw the kids and was happy.Then,I took off her shoes.Have I mentioned,shoes are the next favorite on her list?The moment she wakes up,she goes off toddling,to look for her shoes and then demands”Mumma,Thiss”-the shoes need to be put on then.And she walks around all day,wearing those shoes..Sometimes,wearing just her diaper and the shoes.
Anyway,not to digress,I quickly took off the shoes,distracted her and took her to the place,where my friend was sitting.Now Aadi always runs off to play,as soon as we get inside the play=area.But that day she saw,my friends baby,S.S was hanging on to her mommy and so Aadi,tried to be friends with her. first said Hi, then,tugged at her hand,pointed at the tunnel.That didn’t work.Then,this little doll,went and hugged S.They are the same age and so,it was nice,watching them,together.Both the girls,were such opposites..Aadi,open,uninhibited and S,shy,reserved. S, was getting scared..and I sat down,next to Aadi and had a little mommy-baby talk with her,about how S was upset and didn’t want to play then..and could she go and play with some one else.I dunno how much she understood,but she left S alone,after that.
Another friend arrived with her two boys.The younger one is almost one and he was clutching a small box that had some raisins it ,for his snack. The box was an attractive yellow,that Aadya fancied,almost immediately.But who cares about such small things when,you can run and play. But,she didn’t forget.
We came out of the play-area and gave the kids their snacks.Also,each one passed around their snack boxes for the other kids to share.And when the box of raisins came along,Aadi wanted the whole thing. She was munching on her grapes, but refused to let go of that. I picked up a couple raisins and passed it along.
Now, she got really angry and showed me the FINGER! Err..Her forefinger,threatening to shove it up her nose!eww I know. This is the newest “cool thing”.one or two times,I saw the finger hovering around the nostril and said NO! And since then,the little brat knows that its something that bothers mommy and so,every time she is angry with me,she threatens to put her finger in her nose.So,she showed me the finger and I said,”No,Don’t be angry.That’s not yours, you can eat your grapes.”She asked for the raisins again.Again,I said No! And this time,the finger went up the nose. I glared at her, pulled it out,sneaked glances at my girl-friends.Everyone was busy with their little ones. By now she got upset and started crying.I excused myself and took her for a walk. A short quiet walk..she stopped crying and called out to me. I stopped walking and hugged her,offered her some water,wiped her hands and offered her the grapes again. This time she took the grapes. I let her eat the grapes,while I spoke to her quietly. When she finished her snack,we joined the group again. This time she was calmer and happier..working her charm on everyone .:)
I am so glad,I wrote about her last melt-down and I am so glad,that you all took the time to write to me..
The rest of the play-date was so much fun..Almost everyone,wanted to take her home with them 🙂 and one time,she even waved bye-bye to me ..and refused to come,when i stretched my arms,out to her.
Guess, all’s well.I Haven’t been threatened with the finger in the last two days..it was the weekend and we were busy clinging to daddy..both,mom and baby.The last time,she got angry,she threatened to switch off the TV..and glared at me with the same stern look,that I give her. How, Oh how,does she know,what is more important when?
And speaking of how does she know,how does she know,the difference between a yellow ball and yellow Laddu(sweet)? The ball,she plays with and the laddu,she pops in her mouth even without being prompted! I know for sure,I didn’t teach her that! So,how does she know??
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Yesterday Sanj had his Doc’s appointment first thing in the morning and was going to come home for an early lunch and so,I was busy getting lunch ready all morning.And Aadya missed her morning nap too. So,by lunch time,she was so droopy eyed. I thought she would sleep,as soon as she finished eating,but didn’t happen.
Later in the afternoon,I took Aadya to the mall.We had a nice time,walking around,window shopping.She was so excited,she didn’t even want to take her nap. I also didn’t force her and really,I couldn’t have even if I wanted to.We went to the play area-she loves playing there,but yesterday she didn’t want to get out of her stroller.So,I just kept walking.
We went to Barnes and Noble,bookstore and she was so excited to be in the children’s section.She almost jumped out of her stroller.We played with the assorted soft toys, then,noticed the train set and abandoned the toys..Poor Mumma had to pick up everything.while zooming one engine after the other,the little eyes spotted something pink and purple..( the favorite colors ever!!) and the train set was left behind.The pink and purple thing was actually a ride-on Car!!Some one Else’s!! and so obviously very interesting. I told her no first time,she listened..then,turned around to take one last glance and got attracted again..and again..
I had to pick her up and carry her to the other side,where I thought we would cuddle up and read some books..or flip some pages.But no such thing happened.She spotted a group,that was much more interesting than just plain old mumma. There was a mommy,a grandma and yuppieeeeeeeee 3 kids! So, Mumma was promptly forgotten and the Princess,decided to go and spend her evening with them. Mumma coaxed her to say “bye-bye” and then we sat down to read.4-5 pages and she was bored.We picked another book..this time a puppet book..Elmo and he clapped too. That she liked. And then,suddenly just like that she was bored,got up,said..bye..and left. I followed her..so she decided to play catch..She ran and went and hid behind two teen aged girls.I picked her up,put her in the stroller and took a deep long breath,found a comfortable chair,near the glass overlooking the walkway,gave her the snack cup.She sat looking out,munching her fruit,while I happily read my book. All was well in my world.
Then,tummy full,she slept,while we were window shopping.As soon as I saw her sleeping,I rushed back to the bookstore cafe and ordered myself a white chocolate mocha.I needed it after all that..and in retrospect,for later too. So,I sat sipping my coffee,reading my book.I must have just finished half of my mocha,when the princess woke up.First,she smiled at me sweetly,I started moving the stroller,hoping that she would sleep..but no,she woke up and she was angry.She started crying.I gave her some water,she said NO..cookie NO! By then she was bawling.I tried to come out of the book store..and she started thrashing..I took her out of the stroller.BIG mistake. She got even mad.I tried to put her back in the stroller,and she slipped out..GAhhhhhhhhhhh…
Everyone around me was staring at me..waiting to see what I do. The new stroller is light..it has no cup holders and if the bag on the handle is too heavy and the stroller empty it tips over. So,as soon as Aadya slipped /jumped out,the stroller fell down.So,I grabbed her with one hand,steadied the stroller with another.She wiggled out and ran toward the exit..I pushed the stroller and ran after her..once outside,she walked around angry and crying..for some more time..she didn’t want me to pick her up.I set up both the bags on the stroller and picked her up,rushed to Starbucks and bought milk for her.She loves the organic vanilla milk there.But yesterday she just refused to drink it. I ordered another ice tea for myself.I was tired and sweating..I am not kidding and I had forgotten my mocha,in the bookstore..There was no way I was going back there.
The crying continued..She was so sad/upset/angry.Even when I was carrying her,she was crying.She was hugging me tight and crying.And she didn’t want me to sit down.And she didn’t want to eat or drink.I decided to go to the family lounge-so that if she needs a diaper change,I will do that there or if she just wants to cry..she can do so,but I will be spared the pointed looks of bystanders. So,I just put her sippy cup,my iced tea cup in the diaper bad,set it on the stroller and carried Aadya in my arms. And she decided,she wanted to push the stroller..while I was holding her.I managed to reach the family lounge..And this whining monster turned all sunshiny.I thought..wow..I looked up to two girls walking by with their moms..So,the smiles were for them.
They passed us by and the whining started again. I just sat down on the chair in the family lounge..The Tandav continued for some more time and then,like an angel,a mom came out of the restroom with her daughter I think 4-5 year old. Aadi saw them and started smiling,waving at them..I almost went down on my knees and asked her to please not leave me alone..ever!! She gave me an understanding look..and said”honey this too shall pass”..”I hope so”..I mumbled.. They stayed and talked to us for a while..
The moment passed..and Madame cooled down. I offered her all the same things again..her milk,her water,her snack and my iced-tea.She chose my iced-tea,obviously..and sipped it daintily..If I told anyone at that moment that this was the same little girl,who had a melt-down minutes ago,they would laugh on my face.Then,I offered her some pretzel bites and she ate that too. Again something she had refused earlier.
And all was well again. But,it left me thinking,what was it that triggered this melt-down. Was it lack of sleep? or was it hunger? Or was she feeling hot?Or was she hungry and hot and didn’t understand what was going on?Meltdowns are a part of growing up..but they are hard to deal with.I find myself tired and sapped of energy at the end of each big meltdown..really.When she was thrashing and pushing me away,I tried to be cool,but a teeny tiny bit of my heart,did wonder if something had happened that made her hate me suddenly.The books,the countless websites and the pediatricians tell us,to put the angry child in a safe place and go on with your business..That’s only possible at home.Surely,you can’t leave you crying child in the middle of a busy shopping mall and continue window shopping. Then,I also read,somewhere that if you are outside,then,take the child to a quiet corner and be with her,for as long as she is upset.Then,when she calms down,hug her and tell her,that you understand why she was upset.
I tried that,I took her to a calm place.. but for me to act calmly and find the calm place or the right place didn’t happen instantly.It took a lot of experimentation.And finally,why did she eat and drink the same things that I had offered her earlier..but in the new place..was it because she was tired of the strangers milling around in the mall..Why?Whoever said-“Parenting means constant learning,” wasn’t kidding.
What is your take on this?How would you have reacted if your toddler behaved like this and you felt lost and didn’t know what to do with him/her?Please take a minute and tell me 🙂 -
Last week our weekend arrived a little early…or should I say we got into the weekend mood a little early.
Thursday morning,we woke up to an irritated Aadya and realised that she is teething.She refused to let go of mommy..and by evening, we had a very fussy Aadya,a near starving Mumma and a confused Papa. Looking at my tired face,Sanj offered to take me out of dinner..and my face lit up.”Enchiladas” I thought and he guessed it,looking at the faint smile on my lips. So, we set off to look for a nice Mexican restaurant.We just drove off on a road, less travelled by us and saw this restaurant called “La Hacienda Ranch”.It had a very rustic look from the outside and I almost didn’t want to go inside..It just looked like a deserted inn in the middle of nowhere…and I was sure to find it full of drunks and truckers. But as we slowly circled around the parking lot,we saw a couple of families and decided to try it.
As soon as we opened the door, we were greeted by a huge BEAR! A stuffed full-sized bear was placed exactly opposite the door. And looking at that magnificent animal,Aadya refused to enter..We finally coaxed her in and stepped into the actual restaurant. A beautiful hostess in a white shirt.blue jeans and cowboy boots and hats showed us to our table and then,began a wonderful experience . We each ordered for drinks and munched on the chips and Salsa,waiting for our server. If the outside was rustic, the inside was even more rustic..There were lanterns hung by the windows.The tables were covered with plastic cow-skin print table covers. The actual restaurant was kind of like a log cabin.The bar was adorned with rifles and antler heads and there was also a cute log bench,to rest your butt on.
The food arrived in big china plates and the portions were sumptuous. While we were chomping on our food,some one on the next table ordered Guacamole and the waitress made it fresh for them,right in front of their eyes..I thought that was pretty cool.I ordered an Enchilada for Aadya too and she finished it. So, now I am looking for Enchilada recipe.
Half way through the meal,Aadya tried to grab food from my plate-when I said No, she reached for Sanj’s drink..I said No again and she got angry,refused to look at me for a long time.I tried the same trick,but she knows how to take mumma’s heart and turn it to mush..When I pretended to not look at her,she pulled my hand and kissed it silly.I gave up!!
On our way out, we saw that that outside,there were bags filled with water hanging..I think for thirsty travellers or their horses,like in olden days. All in all it was a great experience..I only wish I had my camera..but may be taking some pictures is just the right excuse to go back there!
Friday night was spent bowling.We went bowling after almost 2 years.The last time,we went bowling was 2 days before we found out I am pregnant..and then,we never got a chance to go.Another couple and their two year old,Aashi joined us. Aadya decided she really liked Aashi and wanted to kiss her..ON HER LIPS! Aashi tried to point at her cheeks to tell Aadya to kiss there.. but she just wanted to kiss her friend on the lips,much to our amusement and Sanj’s dismay.We had fun bowling and Aadya had fun..running away,patting strange men on their bare knees,embarrassing us,dancing on the table and lifting her shirt…Sanj shot me such looks..like “Where is she learning all this from?”..Oh well..At least we will be prepared for much worse when she turns into a teenager.
Saturday was relaxing…I went for a much needed Mani-pedi TLC session with two Girl-friends and boy! was it fun! This is a Chinese place and they do amazing hot-stone massages..I came back rested and relaxed,only to stuff my toe,on the way in the door. The darn thing started bleeding and is now swollen like a raisin in water..and it hurts like hell.Oh and before leaving from the nail spa,I fell down..I tried sitting on a chair and it moved and I landed rather ungracefully on my butt. Anyway,coming back to the toe..SAnj cleaned and band-aided it and then,I went outside to the balcony to get something and opened the balcony door without looking and It came right on my other foot,scratching it and that started bleeding.And the cherry on top,I was closing a drawer and my finger got caught in it..Yeah,Ok..I know..someone had hexed a curse!!!Wonder who?
Sunday was nice..We went to a splash park, first thing in the morning..Aadya had a blast,running through the water fountains .She tried to drink it directly by putting her face right on top of it and opening her mouth wide..She did take some time getting warmed up..she was surprised to see so much water and didn’t know what to do..And then the unthinkable happened.Sanj got in the water.I say, unthinkable..because this is the guy,who doesn’t like the beach..he avoids getting wet..as much as he can.. but he really wanted Aadya to get in there and enjoy…and sure enough,seeing daddy there,she sauntered in too..and refused to leave later.Go on tell me..He is sweet!!
Then we went to have brunch at Panera and came home to enjoy the sweet afternoon siesta.It was a nice relaxed weekend 🙂
OK now your turn, tell me how was your weekend? -
Now we have lived in this area long enough to have places that we call our own..our library,our pharmacy,our grocery store and our park. Since the two-three weeks,we have started going to the park almost every day. This park has a beautiful trail,where we can walk.a nice play ground where Aadi can play and a lot of desis- of all shapes and sizes. There are moms and dads with their kids,there are pregnant couples,out for a walk.Then there are grand parents,taking a walk or watching their grand kids play.There are also some pet owners,walking their dogs..dogs of all sizes.
Now,Aadi knows we are going to the park.As soon as we turn in to the park’s street,she gets excited and starts squealing.At the park,we put her in the swing,or let her jump and play on one of the monkey bars and slide down the slide.And then,we strap her in her stroller and take long walks.A good 30-40 minute walk roughly around 4-5 circles along the trail is good exercise. Aadya loves her stroller and as long as we are moving ,she doesn’t mind being in it.
Today was no different. Sanj took Aadi to the play ground,while I started walking on the trail. I had finished just one round and saw her playing happily-jumping on one of those iron bridges and squealing. I abandoned the walk half way and went and joined the father-daughter. We had a nice time climbing up the steps and climbing down the steps.She is so confident going down the steps,almost like a grown up.Head held up,holding the side bar and putting the first foot down.
Then,I took her through one of the tunnels and she squealed with joy,seeing me inside the tunnel,she promptly followed and had so much fun going from one end to the other.
Then,we moved to another play station, and there she tried to climb up on the slide. There was this other kid playing there..I say kid, because I am not sure if it was a girl or a boy..the name sounded girlish but he was dressed in a boy’s clothes.Now,I dress Aadya in cute boy shorts too sometimes,so it could have been a girl too..and his/her grand father didn’t seem interested in making friends so I just kept my mouth shut and refrained from asking.
So anyway,Ms.Aadya was busy climbing up the slide and this kid,tried to get in the middle..we asked her to “be nice and lets share” the other kid stopped too,waited for her to finish her short hike..but she kept slipping and falling.Now the other kid was getting impatient..and to be fair he had waited so,I asked Sanj to pick up Aadya and let the other kid get his turn.So Sanj slowly pulled her back,and the other kid,hopped on ..put his first foot and did the mistake of looking at Aadya and what do I see? She gave him the eyes!!!
She narrowed her eyes,scrunched her nose.It was the exact same look I have,when I am trying to scare her!!GASP! I almost fainted there..Instantly both of us said,Aadya,be nice..but the other kid had kind of got the message and backed off.. I was so embarrassed..Well to be honest,a little proud too..Proud because I know,she will be able to watch out for herself.
Anyway,I chucked all those feelings away and asked the other kid,to please have his turn. To give credit to Aadya,she did smile at him sweetly and was happy to play somewhere else..So,that makes me wonder if she was really trying to scare him or was just being playful. When we are in the car,and she is whining,I look at her through the passenger mirror and frown..and she frowns back at me..then I smile and she smiles..then another expression and she imitates that..So may be she was just playing?
Anyway,we moved to yet another play-station and there she made friends with another mom and even told her her name..When she asked her,What’s your name? She said “AAADYA” in a firang accent. Well.whatever..as long as she says her name its fine.
I still can’t forget the look that she gave that other kid..and guess I won’t forget it for a long time..Because,Sanj kept ribbing me all the way home,about “that’s another thing,she learnt from me”.
The park is mostly pretty crowded till 9.00 pm,which is when its just starting to get dark.That’s when we leave mostly.Today we were there till 9.20 pm and I was amazed at how quickly it got dark and how quickly every one left. One minute there were kids and parents and people walking their dogs and the next moment it was deserted and the silence was so eerie,I couldn’t wait to get out of there.
I leave you with this-
