15 Marbles

Moments.Musings.Memories. ❤️Gathering little marbles from ordinary days and keeping them for our memory jar. ❤️

  • I received this message today and it instantly raised my happiness quotient to 100% .

    My Nanya, I have always said she has such a caring, giving soul – she really is . And I am not saying this just because I am her mum.

    I remember when she was a toddler and we were invited to a SuperHero birthday party. All the kids were excited to see Captain America. Lil MsAn, found my friend’s brother-in-law, sitting alone in the second lounge room – checking something on his phone. She planted herself next to him, babbling away, until he finally joined the rest of the party.

    At childcare, kinder, every time I ran into another parent, they’d tell me how loving she is. At school this year, I don’t have the luxury of leisurely drop offs & pickups, but when I do meet other parents, they always tell me how delightful she is.

    This message came at the right time- a time when I was worried and thinking about the things that worry her.

    What does an 8 year old worry about you ask ? Friends mostly. Friendship problems, she worries about fitting in – she is a person on her own but she also knows that she is different- different because she likes things that other girls don’t usually like.

    She likes playing games that boys do, but boys don’t always want to play with girls. And she doesn’t want to always play with the boys.

    There are some girls that she wants to play with but she doesn’t like the games they play. And then there are others that seek her out, but she is chasing other friends. Sometimes, she tells me, walking around by herself is more fun and it breaks my heart into a million pieces, just like that.

    It’s complicated, you see.

    That’s why messages like these make me happy. They give me hope.. that it will be ok. They make me feel happy because she made someone’s day better. And not to forget, all that good karma that she is cashing in.

    Speaking of Cash – On Halloween, the last house that we knocked on, belonged to a set of new parents. Their little Bub is probably a couple of months old and Halloween was probably the last thing on their mind. Anyway, the guy quickly grabbed his wallet and pulled out 2 $20 notes and gave it to the kids .

    There were 3 of them and he only had 2 notes. We said No, but he insisted and apologised that he only had two notes. The girls said thank you & moved on. But the little girl that didn’t get the money was sad. MsAn didn’t even hesitate for a second before offering her friend the money . It’s beyond me how someone so little can be so selfless.

    We were eating lunch at the food court, the other day and SP had to make a phone call. While we were waiting, Ms An decided to teach me the lyrics of a song from this video game she plays. She was so patient too. When we I got tired of that, she put up an impromptu performance for me.

    Just watching doing her own thing- singing and dancing – and I had this overwhelming wave of love hit me – I hope she continues singing, shining her way through whatever life throws her way, spreading joy and cheer as she goes.

    She is a hugger, like her mumma. She goes about spreading joy, one hug at a time.

    If MsA was my first true love, MsAn is my soulmate – she literally came into my life and took control – completely!

    As some of my friends say, she has me wrapped around her little pinkie finger 🙂🙂

    I leave you with a picture of my precious at her favourite spot .. making music

  • Being a mum is responding to a whiny, long drawn “Mummmm/ Mummmyyyy / Mummma” with a Yessss( and a mental eye roll) to turn around and realise that it’s not your child.

    Being a mum, means you can still hear and recognise her child’s voice in the chorus or a cacophony of little voices and smile despite the noise.

    Being a mum means your heart can swell with pride and break at the same time – Pride because your little munchkin recognises what is upsetting her & is ready to face it. Heartbreak- because your little love is being so brave and doing a great job of holding her tears.

    Being a mum is a great balancing act – between being tough & loving , soft & stern, being fun & setting boundaries.

    It’s a constant juggle between wanting to spend more time with them and wanting to send them to bed.

    It’s a constant struggle between wanting to be at home with them and wanting to be at work, because I do love being at both places.

    Motherhood – this overwhelming feeling that consumes you, takes over your mind, heart and soul but, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

  • This thought came up on my Facebook feed and it cannot be any closer to what I am feeling right now.

    As they say, when the going gets tough,the tough get going .

    Sending happy vibes to everyone 😊

  • Ms A and I were talking about teen troubles, life in general.

    And as she was feeling rather bummed, I came up with an idea. I told her we should write down the names of all the people that care about her . She laughed it off at first but then, I am her mother and I persisted and we came up with a list of people that she thinks,care. We called this list – the support group.

    For isn’t a Support group a group of people that are there for you- people you can talk to when you are happy or sad, people who won’t judge you, people who care enough.

    This led to us talking about blogging and this bunch of kick-ass blogger friends that are my support system. These woman that I met through my blog, when I was a young first time mum to be, alone in a foreign land, with hardly any real world friends in the same city and a workaholic husband .

    But even before I started blogging, I met this wonderful group of girls through online support forums . What started as a big group, slowly whittled down to a group of 7 . They were the ones that helped me get over dark days of Canadian & American winter blues. We chatted for hours over cups of teas, exchanged recipes, housekeeping tips, and everything else under the sun. We met in person and have formed long lasting friendships. They were the first few people that I shared my blog with. Some of us are still in touch.. we reach out to each other to share happy news, kids achievements 🙂 – sad news & worries too .

    The blogger friends – we haven’t all met, but that doesn’t dull the friendship or the bond. We all rejoice over the blog-babies- I call them babies, most are teens now; we virtually hold each other’s hands as we face our demons as mums and/or women .. that’s what counts. And when we do meet, even if it’s for the first time, it’s like meeting an old friend and picking up the strings from where we last left off.

    I don’t know where this post is going.. but I do know that even when I was alone in a place where I didn’t know anyone, I never felt lonely, because I had all these lovely people to support me through the transition- cross country moves, inter- continental moves, house hunting, difficult pregnancies, everything!

    Maybe it’s time to pick up the strings… maybe it’s time to make time for conscious blogging.. maybe..