Aadya was bored of her baby food and wanted something more adult.So,my granny made this for her.
Dalia(semolina porridge)
2 tsp semolina
1/2 tsp ghee or clarified butter
1/2 tsp sugar
1/2 cup milk
a pinch of salt

Put the ghee ans semolina in a pan and roast till golden brown.Add the milk and bring it to a boil.Add the sugar and salt and simmer for 2 minutes.
[Since I am waiting till Aadya turns 1 to give her milk,I substituted the milk with water and a dash of milk for color and grandma’s satisfaction]

Aadya slurped it down happily.

I started to reply to all the comments about my previous post in the comments section and then realised that it was getting too long and so decided to do another post-this time in a more relaxed and not-so-irritated mood.
Mona quoted from a book she is reading –what makes us do that to each other though is our own insecurity – our own fears that our decisions are not the right ones. and we can only validate our decisions by finding people who make similar decisions or converting people who make radically different decisions.
This simple statement says a lot and may be I see the logic too..But I am the kind of person,who hardly passes a judgement about others,so its kind of hard for me to accept it.I think try to weigh the other persons feeling, circumstances and reasons,before finally forming a judgement or opinion about them.And may be that’s one of the reasons why I don’t like confrontations,because I just cant find a smart retort to say then and there and then I keep brooding and fuming long after the moment has passed. But then by expecting the others to do the same,am I not trying to validate my own decision?
I have always refrained from commenting on SAHM and WM debates simply because I cannot seem to side with any one side.Both sides have their share of positives or negatives. While a SAHM might envy a WM her alone time(even if surrounded by an army of colleagues), a WM may be jealous of the SAHM’s leisurely spent day(yeah right!)Like Anitha commented on how she gets a hard time from her SAHM counter-parts.I come from a family of working women..both my grandmothers were working full-time too.My mom was a full-time WM till I was 12.And then, one day,she decided she wanted to be home for her kids and didn’t find it a tough call to make. I have seen her balance both her work and us brats and so am so in awe of all WM.But being a SAHM makes me realise how wrong I was to think my mom was free! She took that time to pursue her other interests and hobbies-We had a beautiful garden,always blossoming with flowers,which was the envy of the whole neighbourhood and while I burnt the midnight lamps,studying for my 10th, so did my mom,to get her Naturopathy diploma! She was a full-fledged Naturopath,before I passed 12th and all that despite managing a busy household and fighting Cancer.Anyway,so back to the post.. I knew it even before I got married or even had a boy-friend that I wanted to be a housewife for a little while.I always had an interesting career lined up in my dreams too and the plan was to take a break for a few months and then go back to work. Partly by circumstances,partly by chance and partly due to my own laid back attitude I ended up never seriously looking for a job. And again I was clear,that I didn’t want to stay away from DH and since his job meant we move often,I never got around to aggressively looking for a job. The one time that I did look up seriously, took up volunteering and they told me they’d hire me,I got pregnant.I was clear that I didn’t want to work toward thru the last trimester and due to my erratic cycles,I realised I was pregnant when the first trimester was practically over.I didn’t think it was fair on my part to take up a job for just 3 months..when someone else,more needier, could get it and keep it longer!Again I always knew,I wanted to be home with my baby for the first few years of his/her life..so you see..everything turned out pretty well.And for the first time in so many years I am happy where I am.
And normally,I am pretty unfazed by these discussions simply because I am happy. When we moved to Texas,DH asked me if I wanted to think about getting into research( which was a big deal to me at one point of time) and I was sure,I didn’t want to NOW! Few years down the lane-may be..or not. My dad harassed me over the phone and all through his trip about “doing something with my life”..I told him..not so sweetly(sorry dad) that I am doing something with my life!!He stayed here.. and saw that I was indeed content being just a mom for now.But its when I come across people like the last lady I mentioned,that make me mad! like Rayshma said ” one of them *whom i barely know* even went to the extent of commenting on “how diff can it be to get a work permit?”… well, none of her biz really, is it! “-
Yes, its none of her business!Same goes for the said person i wrote about- She is not working,a housewife..and so how can she question my choice? Sure she used to work a long time ago.. and So did I!It will be like me telling another SAHM ..oh why don’t you put your baby in day care and look for a job..But I wont..coz I cant bear the thought of my child being in a day-care..Hypocrite rite!!
Anyway,enough said..let me tell you something nice now.
Last Thursday,I got a call,from a fellow blogger-Shobana.It was just so nice talking to her. First time that she called,I was putting Aadya down for a nap..turned out,she didn’t want to nap at all..finally after 2 hours,I gave and returned Shobana’s call. This time,it was my turn to leave a voice mail and she called up promptly. It was really so comfortable,like talking to an old friend..none of the awkwardness of first time calls.I love talking and almost monopolised the conversation..I think I hardly gave the poor girl a chance to speak.And she thinks,I thought she was quiet..You know what’s funny.. in an odd way,it reminded me of my first phone conversation with DH,(then new guy)-I was this bubbly cheerful blabbering nutcase and he the quiet,calm listener…
Ohh the funny thing about my call with Shobana– I asked her very enthusiastically–Ohh so what was your line of work? and she said nutrition..when it belatedly struck me that it was right there on her profile on her blog!Silly me..Now you know..I am really a scatter-brain.
Shobana is such a sweetie..she mailed me the first time when I wrote about my mom and since then, we have exchanged occasional emails.When I wrote about my lump,she asked me for my number..tentatively..and then let me blabber before finally asking about the lump.Its like she is there holding hands,silently hanging around.Thanks for taking the initiative,girl!
This reminds me of another incident-the day my mom passed away, we were naturally going crazy. It was way past 10 and our friends were still with sis and me.We are really lucky to have this group of friends.Even today,they are the ones I look up to when I need something.Sis was hyperventilating and everyone was hovering around her..trying to comfort her..Finally,our family Dr. gave her a shot to make her sleep..I don’t know when,I started crying again silently.And a friend who is normally the quiet types,came and stood by me..quietly wiped my tears and patted me on the head, in the most loving protective gesture. Then, he held my hands and asked me to talk..something anything..just talk.I can still see it as clearly as that day. That one gesture..made him extra special to me.He is still a very special friend. And a great guy at that..Any single girls,looking for a great guy?Sometimes,even the smallest of gestures can leave an ever-lasting impression on your mind.
Hmm.. see this is what happens..when I sit down to write with a clear mind!!I will stop here.
And 2b’s mommy.. now that you are a good girl.. sure you can come back..:)

Why don’t you use cloth diapers? Why don’t you handwash the baby’s clothes? Why don’t you take up a job?Why don’t you stay over at your dad’s for a few months? Why don’t you celebrate the baby’s birthday at your dad’s?

What is it with people these days? Just about everyone has some pearls of wisdom that they want to share with me.Is it well-meant advice or just a judgement of my choices? Well,whatever its irritating me like hell!

An old friend recently moved back to USA.And I was really happy talking to her,catching up on the last 2-3 years.We talked about this and that and then,like all mommies,got to talking about our babies,deliveries,etc.What seemed like an innocent exchange soon turned into a Question and Answer round or should I say the game of one upmanship!

A- Did you have a normal delivery or a c-sec? C-sec.

A-Ohh if you had tried harder,you could have had a normal delivery. Well, No..the baby was in distress,so C-sec it was.Did you have a normal delivery?

A-No..But I was in labour for almost 10 hours.hmm..it doesn’t matter,as long as the baby is fine.

A- So, who came for your delivery?No-one.

A- Your sis doesn’t know what its like..she hasn’t seen anything, you should have called MIL!She could have helped.Umm..Helped? How?Surely I wasn’t going to ask her to help me change or anything.And what’s there to know..wasnt there a doctor just for that!

A- Ohh with your shower n stuff..I think we managed pretty well.(I was active till the last day of my pregnancy,took a shower the day after my C-sec and helped DH warm food the day I came back from Hospital.And even took care of sick DH and Sick MIL at one month post-partum! So,I think we were fine.and no,I did not tell her all this.)

A-(Changing topic)-So,do you use cloth diaper or nappies for the baby? No,just good ole’ Huggies.No time or energy to wash after every poopy or wet diaper!

A- Why don’t you use cloth diapers.You have washing machine at home na?! Yes! (but just two hands and only 24 hours!)

The rest of the conversation is a blur in my mind. All the excitement I had of catching up,kinda fizzled off! May be there is nothing wrong with this conversation.But,when I think about it..A spent 2/3rd of her pregnancy and 9 months post-partum at her parents place,because she was too tired.Her only job was to feed the baby(self-confessed)..Someone who doesn’t even know how many times her baby needed a diaper change, certainly doesn’t have any business asking me why I don’t use cloth diapers for my baby.

Another friend who spent more than 6 months post-partum at her parents place and always jokes about how her baby knows her grandparents better than her father..started explaining me how its no big deal whether DH is present with us on Aadya’s first birthday or not.Apparently,it is a big deal to me and to DH.It was my choice to stay with DH through out my pregnancy and I stood by it.Sure,I have my downers and crib about how I never got pampered or how tired I am..but,I would never trade those precious moments we spent dreaming of our baby,together.

Breast-feeding or formula? Are you breast feeding?Yes! Then why are you giving her a bottle now?because! When do you plan to wean her off?umm haven’t thought about it! OH you should have weaned her off by now!( Umm don’t I get to decide that?)

Are you working?No,I am a SAHM. Were you working before you had the baby?No,I didn’t have a work permit and besides,I was happy moving around places with DH!Oh..you should have worked!(Can I decide that,Please? Please?)This is a question so many of us are asked. Somehow,a lot of people find it hard to understand that may be this is what I want to do,right now! I have these moments when I think that may be I should take up a course or a job.. and then I bug my good friends AP and V, about what I should do! AP is the sweetest person I know.She always has something nice to say..she has her calm way of explaining,all the while trying to understand where I am coming from. V on the other hand, has a lot of experience and knows exactly what she thinks about ABC.. and she doesn’t hesitate to give me a piece of her mind. But,I love them both and don’t mind what they say. And besides,they tell me when I ask or share my confusions with them.I always come away with a probable solution or some idea worth saving .We are a mixed lot truly-AP- quiet and serene.ME-excited and confused.VD-A lot more assertive and just Precise.Anyway,I digress..

So..back to pesky Questions- This lady,DH’s ex-classmate met me on chat( what are all these people doing on my list-Don’t ask!) and asked me –

So, how’s life?Good!

Did you guys apply for GC?No, we are not going to.We want to go back!

So, are you working now?No,I am a full-time mom.

Ohh,not working ,May be if you were working you would feel differently about GC!No,I dont think so! are you working?

No! But I keep busy taking courses at the community college. Oh so don’t you have classes today?

No! I am on a break!

See what I mean! I don’t even know this person well enough for her to ask me all these questions.We were at a party last year and this woman tells the group in general,”Oh I hate these housewives”..She paused then, turned to me and said.”Oh no offense haan”I said “why would I take offense, when 2/3rds of the women were housewives in that particular group.I asked her later, she was a housewife too, then… and has been ever since…And she was meeting me for the first time!I don’t know.. when I meet people like this,I wonder if they ever think before talking.I mean how can you judge another person’s choices?

You make a choice-because you think it is right for you.If anyone has a right to question your decision,its you!I wish people would just mind their own business and not tell me what to do? And,then sometimes I wonder if I have “Punch Me” written in big red letters on my face!

I just had to get it off my chest and so just typed without editing..so,if you are still reading,sorry its a jumbled up mess !

And thanx for the concern everyone. Shobana and Reshma,thanks for mailing in-I will be replying soon.

About the lump,its still here.My doctor didnt think there was anything to worry about as long as it didnt change or become painful.As of now,its not changed or is not painful. I will be seeing my doctor again in a month’s time even if there is no change and then she’ll take a call.

Hopefully everything should be fine and God Willing,I might be able to go to India ..and if required,see the doctors there too.

It really touched me how many people care about a person they havent even met..it really made me very happy to know that I have so many well-wishers,even those who are willing to scold me 🙂

Love you all!

ILs came and left ..Diwali passed happily-Aadya turned 8 months old..So many things happened,I have been away only a little while but it feels like I have been away forever. Every time I sit down to write,some other pressing work that has-to-be done comes up and I put away the writing for a later time.

Aadya is so mobile now.She is cruising around from room to room so effortlessly.While its fun to watch,I have to keep a constant eye out on her..ALL the TIME! Just last week,she was playing in the living room.I remembered something and went to the walk-in closet in the bedroom. I found what I was looking for and turned..only to find some soft lump hitting my foot. Its this little imp sitting at my feet,looking up adoringly.She reminded me of a small puppy 🙂 And then she raised her hands to be picked up!

So,now she can get to places easily and on her own- which is good because if I am going from one room to another, she happily follows me.. well not always, sometimes she is crying and crawling-crying because the separation anxiety has kicked in and so she doesn’t want me to out of her sight ever! this mobility is not so good.. coz if I put her down and get on with my work,she comes and tugs at my pants and wants to be picked up!It is tiring to constantly lug her around!I am just so tired all the time.If it is possible,every single bone and muscle in body is aching and I can feel all the ache separately. Yesterday for the first time since her birth,I yelled at Aadya and felt so guilty about it later. She had got her flu shot and was being very fussy and I was just too tired and she just wanted to be with me and cry. Sorry baby

And then around end of October or first week of November,I found a lump in my arm-pit.This was around the same time that 2 b’s mom wrote about her lump.It was just so nice to see all your messages to her.One part of me wanted to write about it here and share it with you,and the other was scared to just put it down in writing.So this was a small lump- a little bigger than a pea.. but it scared the hell out of me. That’s how my mom’s cancer had started.I took an appointment with my doctor and she checked it out and said it looked more superficial.So,she put me on a 14 day antibiotic course and come back if it still didn’t go away. Then,the ILs were here and I decided to go back to see the doctor after they left, because it still didn’t go away. So, anyway,I went back last week and the doctor said, it did look smaller but it is deep rooted.But there is a high likelihood that it is because I am still breastfeeding! So,we can wait till I stop breast-feeding or go in for a general surgery to perform a biopsy. DH immediately said that I should wean off Aadya right away.I know he has my best interests at heart, but I am not ready. I know Aadya will do equally well on formula, but I am just not ready.And I don’t want to get any surgery done here..it is going to be so difficult,no one to help-it is going to so stressful for all concerned. So, we are just watching the lump now..hope it stays like that and if at all changes for good.

Last week was my mom’s death anniversary.Every year,its as if on that day,I relive the events that took place on that fateful day. This year though I was distracted with Aadya but still, i don’t know when a silent chill crept up,making me sad and depressed.

And having visitors over for the last few months,suddenly being alone is a welcome change but at the same time,my heart pines for home.. home-back home.Those unexpected knocks on the door, those doily-covered dishes exchanged without any reasons,anytime is time for chai and gupshup..At least you know who your neighbours are -these are just some of the things that I have been thinking about :)I hope we can go home,sometime soon 🙂

And now after all this melancholy,let me share something sweet that made me smile-
Yesterday,Aadya got her flu shot. She knows the nurse at our GP’s office now and was chatting with her and she kept telling her- aww sweetie, you are not going to like me in a few minutes. So, while they were talking,Aadya got her poke -suddenly her eyes became so wide with pain and she started screaming. DH took her from me( remember I am part of the conspiracy)but Aadya turned towards the nurse and started scolding her.
Aadya- frowning-aaa aaa daa baaa
Nurse- I know I am sorry
Aadya- baaa..hmmmnnnaaa
Nurse- I know baby I am sorry,will you forgive me
Aadya- still mad..ammmmaaa.. unggaa
Nurse- Ohh I know..Ok, you think about it..
Aadya- uaahh..
And that was it,I couldn’t help but laugh over this serious conversation..and had a smile on my lips every time I thought about it.

Edited to add– Can someone please tell me where Swati is and if SM is blogging again..?I have been meaning to ask about these two favorite bloggers for quiet some time now. if you are both reading, write back 🙂

Diwali2007

fun from Aadyaland

With lots of news and updates.
First things first,Aadya can stand up now, independently, hands free for a good 5-30 seconds. She has been trying to stand up for the last week or ten days.. holding onto furniture or other stuff and finally did it today! The excitement on her face was worth a million bucks and more. And since I am a mom,I have the right to brag..and since you have been a part of her life and keep coming back here to read about her..you have to read my brags:)So, she was on the floor,playing.Slowly she went down on all fours and then picked up one hand and then the other.. and stood up for about 5-10 seconds before flopping on her butt!
But it was just so cute! And the look on her face-Priceless!
And I now have a new name..two actually- Mimmi and Mamma! 🙂 Yes, sometime during the ILs visit, Aadya started calling me Mimmi,when she needed me,after having had her share of grandparent-ly love.. and then, sometime after came Mamma! Ahhhhhhhh..I am on 7th heaven!
ILs visit was great..They were both overjoyed to see Aadya..and Aadya was happy to have new people to play with. She took to her Dadu almost instantly…crawling up to him tugging at his pajamas even calling him and chewing off his nose at every chance that she got. Time with dadi was ok too.. but she didn’t like dadi’s louder voice and constant hugs n kichchis..:) Every time poor Dadi tried to kiss her..forcefully she would scream!LOL!! Dadi would scream back to be heard.. and the little monster would scream even louder..
Playing with dada-dadi was fun only till mamma was sitting in one place..or was in her line of sight..so most of the time,poor dadu spent his time standing by the kitchen door..holding Aadya ofcourse.
Diwali was wonderful.Dada-Dadi arrived two days before Diwali,loaded with gifts for Aadya. Dadi sewed Aadya’s outfit and we got lots of diwali yummies too. Aadya happily welcomed them at the airport and even readily went to them. I wanted everything to be perfect for Aadya’s first Diwali. ofcourse perfection was what I remembered from my childhood. And I was happy and content at the end of the day..I did everything that I thought or remembered-right from rangoli to lunch naivaidya to laxmi puja. I prepared the traditional maharastrian fare- Puri,potato bhaji,masale bhaat, koshimbhir, bhajiya ,papad and kheer!
Next day for Padva,We did Aadya’s Aarti and gave her a walker,as a gift.She seems to like it a lot..It sure does buy me a few extra minutes in the shower. We had DH’s colleague and his wife over dinner.It was their first Diwali after marriage..and I didn’t think it was fair that it went uncelebrated. So,they became a part of our celebrations 🙂
Between trips to the malls and Walmart,and time with Aadya,the ILs trip came to an end-short and sweet. I am glad,I did my best to make things as happy as possible for everyone concerned.
Silver Lining- ILs gifted me a sewing machine.I was planning to buy one for a long long time,but for some reason or other,it just never happened.MIL had heard me talk about it last time too..and this time again.So,when I found a good deal for Black Friday,they just gave me the money 🙂

We are busy here in Aadyaland..This time ready to welcome the other grandparents. Yes,The ILs arrive in an hour’s time. We are all set to greet them in style. Aadya has met her grandma but this will be the first time meeting her grandpa- Her Dadu.
The guest-room is ready and a sumptuous meal awaits.
And since,I will be busy entertaining the ILs, and may not be able to post here,I just wanted to take the time to
Wish you all a very Happy Diwali!
May this Diwali bring you loads of happiness, prosperity and joy. May this Diwali bring you all that you wish for!
Happyyy Diwali!
See you again in about 3 weeks- with lots of news and pictures.Till then ,be good, be healthy and miss us!
BTW,The first post on Baby Food is up.(And you can right click now)
Ta da..

Yes,I rock!-says Kiran and Boy! does the sound of that please me!! Yessirieeee it does!

The girl bit sure does the trick,specially when you are getting used being called and looked at as MOM!Ahem, and she also called me adorable!!yayyyyyyyyyyy (screaming like a girl! ):) and blushing too!

Seriously,I first started this blog to write about my feelings and experiences as a soon-to-be mom.That first comment from Tharini made me want to write more.The challenge was to get in the groove,to get started. Those first few posts were just something to start with.Then,I started writing about my pregnancy and then slowly moved on to day-to-day accounts of life.I know sometimes,it may be boring, but all you guys have been sweet enough to read through and even take the time to comment.

And then, slowly the blog became my baby,a very very important part of my life, and I started blogging in my mind.Anything interesting happened and I would blog about it in my mind then and there and then write here.:)I wrote here about things that bothered me,made me happy-everything.The warm welcome my dad received from you guys was just fantastic. And now,I find myself wondering about the little kiddies and their mommies..sometimes I wonder what their real names,not that it matters.. sometimes I picture their funny antics-the pictures painted by your words are just so clear.

This blog is as much a part of my life..as anything else.I know you know what I mean 🙂 I am just so happy you take the time to read and leave a comment. And its because of you,that today I can proudly say this is post number 100 ( *Not counting the picture post before this). Thanks for all the love and motivation ,guys. And Lurkers- Calling out to you again, please, stop by, say Hi..leave a comment..:) make my day!

And since I must pass on this award,I lovingly pass it on to-
AP-Girl,you are truly an inspiration for me.Love you and your little girls (I am not linking her up,because she is still private)
2 b’s mommy – For the brave and happy front she is putting up
The DotMom -For her beautiful writing -Girl you floored me with you beautiful love story!
Timepass – For giving us all something to smile about and because I really thought you were just out of college or still in college..That surely qualifies you to be a Rocking girl!
And Last but not the least- You!- to all you guys -For being there! And DH, sweetheart- Lemme just edit the award to read The Rocking Guy!

And now for the tag- The Engagement story tag- I did this bit,a little while back,for DH’s birthday 🙂 ,as a special birthday gift to him.Here’s our engagement story,enjoy!

Next month we complete 4 years of married life :)-Knock on the wood-NOW!