I really don’t know how to name this one. Let me start at the very beginning so that I don’t miss anything.It may be a little long,so please feel free to skip.
Aadya has always been very friendly.And she gets attached very quickly.And her heart breaks everytime she has to say good bye.We figured that had to do with her being an only child.But,we have come to realise that she is a very very sensitive child.She feels hurt easily and remembers the hurt later too.But she forgives easily.I knoww I knoww,she has my faulty genes.
But,we noticed that while she played well with kids her age,she couldn’t deal with rejection or angry words.If another kid yelled at her,she would start crying.If another kid pushed her,she would back off and let the kid push her more.If another kid told her,”I dont want to be your friend”..she would follow the kid around,saying,”Please don’t be angry with me..please be my friend”..and if that didn’t work,she would cry again.If the pleading worked,then the other kid would just boss her around and she would happily be bossed around.
That was what was worrying us..that she let herself be bossed around..that she was ready to bend backwards to please.I have been there and I know,how that feels. DH and I discussed this at length and came to the conclusion that:
1)She doesn’t have many friends and so doesn’t want to lose them.
2)She needs to be with other kids,when we are not around to sort her battles.
And thats why I found a daycare for her and started sending her there two days a week. In the meantime,we also started telling her,that its OK if somebody doesn’t want to be your friend.And that if somebody is being mean to her,she needs to tell them to stop.If someone is telling her to do something wrong,like take a toy from a baby,she needs to tell them No.She was worried,”then,they will not be my friends.” It was hard explaining to her that her beloved friends were doing the wrong thing by asking her to do wrong things to others.
We repeated these things to her,over and over.And I was glad,when one of her friends,told her that..”I don’t like you anymore and you are not my friend”..she said,fine and walked away and got busy with something else.
I think her being at the daycare,taught her how to deal with other kids and how to stand up for herself. Recently,at a party,the same friend said,”I am sick of being your friend”..she was naturally hurt..came and told me,why did S say that to me..I like her so much and only want to be her friend.I told her,may be S wasn’t feeling happy at that time.She still went and tried to make S play..and then finally gave up.But,after we came back,as I was putting her to sleep,she said to me..”Mumma,Why does S talk to me like that?Thats not very nice.” As long as she gets this and doesn’t put up with it,I think my job here is done.
We heard from our local council,last week that Aadya can finally go to a Kindergarten.There is a major shortage of KGs in our area,this year and I was sure,Aadya wouldn’t get it.She didn’t get in the first three lists.The placement depends on a lot of factors,one of the major ones being,the child’s birth date.And Aadya is one of the younger lot.
Anyway,all is well now..She got her spot.And I need to start my lessons too..The driving lessons.The school is one of my preferred one,but,a little far off ..definitely not walking distance.About time too..I have procastinated enough! I have booked my lesson for Tuesday,when Aadi is daycare..now..just getting over the nerves.
In the meantime,we’ll say goodbye to her daycare friends,in two weeks time..One stage ends,as other is waiting to begin:)Time sure flies,isn’t it?