6 weeks and counting & Baby Blues

Babykins turned 6 weeks over the weekend and today I had my 6 weeks post-partum check up…Now,I am officially fully recovered..:) I remember last time round,when I went for this 6 week check up,everything had gone crazy from the moment I got out of bed..but the check up was fine,then and now..:) But,I remember feeling very distinctly like it was my last day of school and I was stepping into the world..all alone.. this time,there were no such feelings..but there is always this feeling of being over-whelmed that keeps wanting to drown me..I try and push it away,but it just doesn’t go away.
Babykins is a good baby-knock on the wood..as long as she is well-fed and her diapers are clean and dry,she doesn’t care for anything else.If she is sleepy,she doesn’t care if you are playing drums next to her..But her favorite time of the day is..umm nights:) Thats when I get smiles out of her..thats when she likes to coo.. 🙂 And on most nights,I am too tired but those smiles are like instant energizers.
As time is going by,Babushka is oscillating between being madly in love with her sister and being MAD at her!I guess,for her the biggest challenge is sharing me with Babykins..Overnight her mom went from being all hers to being with the baby all the time..I try and try to spend time with her,but when Babykins is sleeping,she just wants to watch her or kiss her or not do things with me.She wants me,when I have to attend to Babykins.I feel bad for Babushka,I feel bad for Babykins and I end up questioning my own abilities!Not the best case scenario..I know:(
SD went back to work,two weeks after Babykins’ birth and he is away 12 hours a day.He does try to help,when he is around.. but mostly its the minute by minute struggles that are getting to me.Some days are perfect..really everything goes like clockwork..and some days are so crazy,I don’t have time to drink my morning tea till noon. My bad cleaner-karma continues..I am hoping that ends soon.
The Dr.today asked me to talk to friends,to get rid of baby blues,then,I remembered last time around,blogging was my life and sanity-saver..so I am here writing this incoherent post.. just getting the thoughts out of my head,so there is some space..seriously,right now my brain is the most cluttered space in the whole world…Its like I just don’t stop thinking or having mental conversations and lists..gosh..I always have a mental list that I am ticking off..
Laundry-check
Feed Babykins- check
Pack Babushka’s bag-check
Cooking-check
Babushka’s meals-check
SD’s lunch box-Check.
blah blah blah..
I forget to eat..but I am not complaining about that one..coz you know what?I am already back in my pre-pregnancy jeans..and I am liking my pictures better!!:P
Somebody,help me get rid of those lists..
Umm..Sorry to offload like this.. but I promise..I’ll be there for you,when you need me..so,thanks for reading..:)